Happy Birthday Twins

Dear Twins,

I often marvel at you. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with emotion, the rush of joy when you do something amazing and wonder and responsibilitythat God has placed in making you my child—I fear my heart might burst from love of you. Sometimes when you are sleeping I stare and stare at you. I catch myself doing that even when you aren't sleeping. Every expression that flits across your face, I have memorized. I have sometimes asked God “How can I be deserving of these little boys?”.

 Did you really come out of me? Someone who struggled so much in this life to be a good person. A spoiled brat, a selfish twit, an infant mind that didn't respect motherhood until I actually was one. The moment I first heard you cry—wailing in protest at being plucked from my womb—that moment was the greatest relief and the highest fright I have ever known. And when I held you that first time, I felt I’d always known you. No greater joy have I known than the hugs you give me, even to this day. No greater sense of power than when I calm your worries. No greater sense of accomplishment than watching you grow.
Proud doesn't begin to describe how I feel for you on this day. You've changed my life. There was a time when I couldn't imagine 17 years of caring for you. That was probably when you were born and I was 19. So very long ago. We...you both, have so much further to go but I am overwelmed with joy in what you have become thus far.

So I couldn't leave this so completely serious, I have to save something for your 18th birthday right. In honor of your day, I've prepared a list (you know how I love lists), of things I need to do with you or have happen before you turn 18.

1. I want to see my sons' plan, shop for, prepare, serve and clean up after a meal he serves to

our family (should be easier with two of you)

2.  I want to go on a trip with the boys of at least three days duration, without overlooking their packing and without  forgetting a single thing. (hhmmmm, it would kill me not to check those bags...impossible)

3. I want to kick of this non-profit Diaper Drive with them and have them fully vested and insure that I won't have to do all the work.

4. I want to see them take their little brother's to a day out that includes something like a movie or Chuckie Cheese and not have at least one little brother come back crying saying that the twins were picking on them.

5. I want to see my son take full advantage of every “extra-credit” opportunity offered by his teachers.

6. I want to visit at least three college campus' of their choice.
7. I want to see my sons' take a position at school that includes something other than sports like, student goverment.
8. I'd like to catch them praying to God or reading their bible a time that doesn't include me beginning it or telling them to do it.
9. I want to see them do some random acts of kindness in a way that isn't normally expected of teenage boys.
Anyway, there some other things, I'm sure but I'm caught up in the whole moment of them being 17 tomorrow and so much better than I ever was at their age that my heart is warmed and I"m happy.


...Just Friends?

according to Steve Harvey...

"He's your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship that we have. We remain your friend in hopes that one day there will be a crack in the door. Trust and believe that guy you think is just your buddy will slide right into that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. 99.9% of us think that way."

Here's my perspective: I see where he's coming from but I can't say I agree wholeheartedly. There are a few exceptions...

1. Believe it or not, it's possible for two people of the opposite sex to have a "brother and sister" relationship where there is no physical attraction what so ever- and even if there is, they would rather not risk the awkwardness and regret of taking things where they had no business going.

2. Not all men who see an attractive female want to date or sleep with her. I've noticed that women tend to view other women differently than men. To another woman she may gorgeous, but to a man she looks average which makes it that much easier for him to just be friends with her. Every woman is not every man's "type."

3. There are attractive men who get hit on all the time. Some men are so accustomed to being surrounded by beautiful women that befriending another one won't immediately turn them on.

Do you think Steve has some self control issues and is making a generalized assumption that all men are the same way? Or do you agree that it's impossible for a man to seek nothing more than friendship from a woman


Gym Etiquette 101

I believe we need to revisit this topic once again. Not enough of the world received the memo the first time. Gym 101 should be posted but since it's a community gym (of which we pay dues), it can't be. I get it.   I realize the gym is a public facility, its open space for everyone.  I've seen it all, and the most recent episode was watching the woman dance...yes dance...on the treadmill.  I got so caught up in thinking about which song she must be run dancing to, that I couldn't mind my own business (that's a whole other post). It took every ounce of me not to laugh in her face. Then, there are the people that are "want to be" trainers. They insist on telling you how to correct your form.  Obviously you don't know your muscle groups if I'm working on front delts and you correct me in a way that will work my rear delts.  I had to politely tell her, "I'm not doing that muscle today, maybe tomorrow" (smile, "thank darlin, 'preciate it").  Mind you, this woman doesn't work at the gym. Just feels the need to include everyone else in her, "I was once a trainer" show. Here are a few other things gym bugging issues:

Do you REALLY feel the need to stare in between my legs when I'm doing the hip adductor machine. Me opening and closing my legs is DEFINITELY is not an invite for you to stare and non-verbally admit that you're in dire need of a five finger fix.

Enterning the  gym smelling as if you just came from a gym is a big no-no. Just because you're going to sweat, doesn't give you the right to omit washing and caring for your personal hygiene.

When entering the sauna in your speedo while I'm the only other person in the sauna, must you feel the need to sit next to me. I mean, there are 3-4 other benches available and plenty of room for us to spread out.

Just like the club, the gym dress code should be enforced. Coming to work out in blue jeans causes crotch-rot and UGG boots or flip flops is just plain silly. Not to mention you look ridiculous.

Okay, you forgot your towel.  I get it, I've done it before and when I do I usually put my track jacket or t-shirt on the bench to catch my sweat.  If you forgot it then get the papertowels and santizers provided in all gyms and wipe it down afterwards and when you do this please pick up your papertowels so we don't have to touch your sweaty bacteria.

Are you REALLY, dropping 30 pound dumbbells on the ground after your set? REALLY, that's pretty heavy for a 250 lb guy doing a chest press. Be nice if you didn't scare the beegeezus out of all of us or attempt to break the weights so that we can't use them.

Just because you're at the gym with your four, five, or 12 best buddies, does not give you the right to act like you have no sense. We don't need to know what "broads" you like or why that "dude is doing you wrong.", take it down a notch.  Part II - if alone, please don't hold up the machine while you text on it for an hour...I'm waiting.

Finally, and most importantly...okay so you are a muscle head who leg presses 800lbs.  Unfortunately, I'm just a mere mortal who only leg presses 360 and even I know enough to know that's too much to leave on. Done with the machine? RACK IT! Nobody wants to take 15 45lb plates off before they can start their reps!

Song in My Head


don't be a 'female' in south central while drinking your juice pretending to be a Lady... in the hood.

there are hoes and there are housewives. then there are hoe-ish housewives. but those types usually live on Wisteria Lane, or more recently, in Atlanta(Real Housewives...ha). and wherever the Basketball Wives reside. but i'd be inclined to say that only .12% of them are actually a wife, so nevermind.

anyhoo, aside from those conglomerates of hoe and housewife, the women in the latter category usually will scoff at the mention of their name even in the same sentence as a woman who wears the hoe-tag, consciously or not.

i feel the same about the word "female". ewwww

anyone who talks to me has probably seen me say this before, but i literally cringe deep inside somewhere when i hear or read a man call a woman a 'female'. first, it just seems like a pg substitute for b*tch, and who wants to be called that besides Trina and the woman who thinks black and b*tchy are the same thing?
basically, if you want to be treated like and called (and sometimes labeled) a Lady or Woman, there should be evidence in your daily life and even what you choose to put out on the internet (HEAVY eye to the side to Facebook and 87% of the status updates), that you are indeed one of these.

I'm seriously talking to the 'females' in Ladies' clothing. the ones who claim to demand so much respect and will get all offended if someone calls their spade a spade. that's who i'm talking about. who look to be grown, intelligent women on the surface, but whose actions and words clearly tell otherwise.

don't put your business out on facebook, myspace, twitter people, especially if you're living the trifelife and you're in denial about it. we don't need to hear about your trifling babydaddy and the new b*tch he has, or the random d*ck you got last night, that it's 420, or the dude you dog out and tell to getadamnjob because you don't deal with broke fools, but yet steady lay on your back errynight for him. and if you have a Masters but cannot construct ONE sentence without using every four-letter word that man created...

just stop.

it makes you look bad. and it makes men label you as female. and i know us women all check the 'F' box when filling out personal documents, but that's where our female label should end, in my opinion. at the biological level. plus, who wants to be the pg version of b*tch? jussayin. get it together.

moral of the story: if you talk about it, BE about it. and if you aren't, don't get mad if people call you out about it.

(ps. if you are offended by this post... you're probably one of these 'female' creatures)


Men Sharing...hhmmm

Re-Visiting You Me And She

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with one of my girlfriends about the state of black women and men and relationships and her take was, we need to start mansharing cause there are only a few good ones left and we have to keep them happy.  In other words, take what you can get, get what you want, enjoy while you can and most importantly, do not complain.
It took me a moment to realize just how serious she was. I'm working on doing my best to be careful about my words and non-judgmental when evaluating people and their relationship issues. Actually I hate it when people are overly critical of others behavior since they seem to have forgotten that before they were perfect they were a mess. It's so easy to judge when you don't walk in someone else's shoes. Besides one of my favorite scriptures says:
If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out.
(Galatians 6:1 The Message)

But that isn’t the scripture that caused me to write this post. I naively thought this open discussion of man sharing was new. I mean I knew it happened, but I didn’t think it was such an openly discussed topic. Unfortunately statistics and many people have indicated that the scarcity of free black men that are not interested in other free black men, has left the pickings rather slim for black women, meaning they have to share a man, look in another race, find their own Queen Latifah, or tough it out. I was reading an old book called Isaiah where I found a similar phenomenon of man sharing.

Isaiah 3:25 The men of the city will die in battle. (hmmm, is this speaking of the war we are currently in?)

And as a result:

Isaiah 4:1 That will be the day when seven women will be to one man, saying, "We'll take care of ourselves, get our own food and clothes. Just give us a child. Make us pregnant so we'll have something to live for!" (The Message)

I had seen this scripture before but it rang so loudly after our conversation. That day is not coming, that day is now. Men are being physically killed today, but more so spiritually annihilated by all the evil this society has to offer through drugs, easy sex and all the trappings of greed. Men are able to sit back and be picky saying, she’s too short, she’s too tall, she’s too thin, she’s too light etc when evaluating their choices of good women. Women are saying, he’s too locked up, he’s too gay, he’s too homeless, but, this one here has a job, a car and his own crib. I don’t have his home number, and I’ve yet to go over there, but he visits me twice a week on the regular. Unfortunately women sometimes feel as if their only choice is to settle for less until more comes along, but more never comes from the one they’ve settled for.

Anyway, to help fix this societal imbalance a little, I will continue to raise my sons to be viable and true candidates for a good woman when they are of age.

Son number one is an honor roll student who is easy going, tender, head strong, gives his momma kisses on command, washes the dishes and fries chicken but has found an interest in sports message boards, writing and a couple of girls here and there at his school. He aspires to attend Pepperdine and study Sports Medicine.

Son number two is a gifted athlete, smart, strong and radiates confidence. He is a people person, strives to achieve greatness and every teacher says he is a pleasure. His focus is on Kinesiology at a California UC
Son number three will require a woman who will take a back seat to his mom. He is secure by himself but there are a few in his 2nd grade class that are smitten by his intelligence and like to follow him on the way to the cafeteria. He is a talented artist, Xbox60 specialist, and free throw shooter. He aspires to be in the NBA when he grows up and currently could care less about anything except for his next game and if he got -0 on his spelling test.

Finally, son number four needs eligible females to wait a little longer. He is quite a project but will soon be on the verge of greatness.  He vocabulary is exceptional, has the gift of gab and a is a talented scooter rider. He aspires to be a Doctor when he grows up and currently plans on marrying his mom, but don’t worry he’ll grow out of that stage.

Our society and black men in our society have their issues. We all do. Those issues need to be addressed head on, not discussed on C-span, especially if there is no follow-up. So I’m going to try to make things better by training up my children (and any others I encounter) right. I’ll spank them now so the cops won’t have to club them later. I’ll raise them to be men that recognize good women, and are recognizable to them. I’ll raise them to refuse to share and to know that being shared by women means they have a lot in common with public toilets.

Christmas Gift Suggestions

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
--Oren Arnold

Heard this on the radio this morning and it touched my heart, thought I'd share


Song In my Head

This song takes me back to the day when men were not afraid to tell their woman how they truly felt. There was no wondering. Nowadays everybody so scared of being called a punk. They would be in such a better place if they would just cherish their woman.
Unfortunately this music is mostly gone.  Occasionally, Alicia will spell it out in a song or even Charlie Wilson but sadly I don't think our music will recover :( Now they know that sex = big money. They no longer sell music they sell sex.)

My New Favorite Song



I wish my nose were a little bit smaller

I pretend to be talking on the cellphone to avoid people I don't want to talk to

It hurts my feelings when the twins don't say "bye mom" before going to school

I can sleep right through a lightning storm but will sit straight up if someone turns the TV off.

I forget how much I am loved by family and friends

I wish people would just sit still instead of saying something stupid.

I need the conversation to go a little deeper and I'm frustrated when it doesn't.

I wonder if I will ever have a true girlfriend who's okay with not competing and just listening

I get sad that my sisters don't respect my opinon or follow my advise.

I think we picked the wrong school for the boys

I love  how I look in the mirror

I hate how I look in the mirror

I literally eat garbage food all day long

I get bad feelings about something and the feelings become justified

I hate when a discussion gets ugly because we don't have the same opinion.

I have to remember that after I’ve handed my problems over to God, to not try to take them back

I wonder if Aaliyah would still be making good records today.

I hate that Mary J. Blige fell in love cause I liked her music much more when she was tragic

I wonder what I can do on the side to make extra money

I hate no one "forced" college

I still sit in my bed and cry even though I'm really happy

I wonder if everyone really reaps what they sow in this life or the next

I wonder if I will ever accomplish all that I have set in my mind.


A Teenage Love

Been thinking lately about the twins. Lots going on, school, sports, girls.  I often wonder will I ever have enough advice for them. If I'm telling them the right things, leading them in the right direction, showing them that I care and I'm concerned enough.  I find it very easy to relate to them and remember those things they are now going through and how I felt at the time that I was their age and going through the same things.  One of them has some emotional stuff going on right now and my heart was warmed when he opened up to me recently about it.  I wanted to hug him and assure him this too shall pass but I knew he needed more an ear than a hug from mommy.  In his telling of how he felt he did what we do in our family, turned on itunes, and said "listen to this song", this is how I feel.  (He's a music junkie like his mommy).  His emotions are often controlled by song just as mine are also.  This is why part of the advice I shared with him was to listen to more uplifting music than the kind that would continue to break his heart.  Of course I came home yesterday and entered the door to him in his room blasting the heck out of the song.  It's a nice tune, but definetly a downer.  I like it, but it makes me want to have a drink and grab some tissue.  My advice was, "not everyday is easy but everyday gets better and you won't feel good today but eventually this will be a memory"  I wanted to tell him to grow some balls and suck it up cause this little trick is a nutcase but I didn't think he would respond well to that one.  Instead, after he had said all he wanted to say I let him finish listening to his music and just sat with him quietly for a while.  After he left I let him sit in his room a while and then I went in sat on his bed and I simply said "As we grow up we learn that even the one person who wasn't suppose to let us down probably will, that includes our friends, loves, parents and children.  You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once and it's harder each time.  You are going to break hearts too so remember how this feels.  You'll blame a new love for what an old love did, but always be true to yourself, be truthful to each person even if it's hurts and do things that help you sleep and night and know that you are a good person.  In the end your path is already set and you and I don't know what that is but remember we are highly favored by God and everything will be work out fine." I kissed him and went to bed. 


Growing Up

“If your gonna screw up, do it while you're young. Older you get, the harder it is to bounce back.”

Winston Groom quotes

For days I’ve been slowing coming to the realization that my twins will be 17 years old in just few short days. I’ve literally found myself up the past month thinking about it. If 17 is doing this to me, what turmoil will I be in when they hit 18, or more, when I hit 40?

Quite honestly is seems, not very long okay that I was laying in a hospital bed with the ugliest dookie braids ever, and the ultrasound technician telling me she thinks she sees two heads. I remember that day so vividly. Up until that day I wasn’t even noticeable pregnant and in fact, I could I still throw on a hoodie and leave my top button open on the jeans and still be just as cute. Fast forward to the next morning after finding out the news; that twins would be arriving in just over three months. I blew up overnight. The next morning I could no longer fit anything. By 8 months, it was impossible to even get normal shoes on and I was wearing these stupid house shoes with green and red bell peppers on them everywhere. Something I wouldn’t be caught dead in, even in the house now days. I suddenly pictured myself carrying to car seats, pushing two strollers, two high chairs, two swings, two of everything. I wasn’t far from it. It was my reality. Funny thing is, I look back now and remember what a short time it was. We grew up so fast. The years have flown by. Too fast. For me, I’ll take digging in the couch for quarters for diapers, shopping in Kmart for matching outfits that looked like the GAP, the bobsled stroller and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at Cherry Park on a Saturday compared to now. Now, it’s checking grades, worried about them driving bad weather, girlfriend drama, GPA’s, college entry and watching them grow. I’m stomping my hands and kicking my feet. I’m not ready.



The most selfish one-letter word - "I" Avoid it.
The most satisfying two-letter word - "We" Use it.
The most poisonous three-letter word - "Ego" Kill it.
The most used four-letter word - "Love" Value it.
The most pleasing five-letter word - "Smile" Keep it.
The fastest spreading six-letter word - "Rumour "Ignore it.
The hardest working seven-letter word - "Success" Achieve it.
The most enviable eight-letter word - "Jealousy" Distance it.
The most powerful nine-letter word - "Knowledge" Acquire it.
The most essential ten-letter word - "Confidence" Trust it.

I found this, while looking for something else. This was better than what I was looking for.


Football Season is over

Well, we did our job (yeah, I said we)...but Friday night our season came to an end after facing Grant High School, ranked #4 in the nation, #1 in California. The prediction was that we'd get blown out 70-7! yeah baby! If we had to go out- let it be by the best. We had them on the ROPES! We went up 8-0 quickly after a safety and a trick touchdown.  Our fans were so pumped and let me tell you we were DEEP in the hood!
Too much talk, message boards and news attention the upcoming week about shutting down #30 let them to smash on my little guy each time he came near the ball and let me tell you with a o-line and d-line averaging 260 lbs, I was holding my breath each time he TOUCHED the ball, but I was so proud of my 5'8, 170lb baby that managed to tangle up their 275 lb linebacker all night! YEAH BABY! In the end it came down to us shooting ourselves in the foot multiple times with off-sides penalties time and again and 2 face masks walking them into the endzone. We have the respect of our town and the section and that's all we wanted.  Final score 20-11.  Basketball season starts today for Twin B, Twin A says he will continue to concentrate on football. His rationale...do I want to be a great high school basketball player or play football at the next level. Hmmmm, I love you son. Great season.


More Random - isms

5 famous people I'd like to meet.

  • Barack Obama
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Tupac Shakur
  • Malcolm X
  • Donald Trump

5 books that affected my life.

  • The Spook That Sat at Back Door - Sam Greenlee
  • The catcher in the rye - j.d. salinger
  • The Purpose Driven Life - Rick Warren
  • The Color Purple - Alice Walker
  • The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison
5 favorite movies.

  • Imitation of Life
  • Lady Sings the Blues
  • Mahogany
  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh

5 addictions.

  • My Blackberry
  • writing
  • iPod
  • candles
  • lotions
5 things that turn you On.

  • a man that smells good
  • a great smile
  • great food
  • looking in my eyes
  • confidence and a swagger
5 things that turn you completely Off.

  • liars
  • insecurity
  • poor me attitudes
  • cocky bravado
  • getting in my space




Busy Busy Busy

My life is like a steady stream of chaos right now. My plate is full. Pilled to capacity with rich  fattening foods, over-salted vegetables, and well marinated meats. Socially, I have a waiting list of people that I need to hang out with. And I'm thinking about all of them in some way or other.

"Nesha! You're ignoring me! We have to catch up!"

"Hey! When are we going to hang out? Let's go have a drink."

"I want to see you! Can we have lunch tomorrow?"

-slopping  on mashed potatoes-

I've been in a game of phone tag with a friend for about 2 weeks and I can't seem to have the time to talk to her.

"Stop ignoring my phone calls!" (via text message)

-piling on mustard greens-

I haven't had a good conversation with my mom in a week. I have 3 classes that all have papers/projects due in the next seven days. I've cooked a real meal in my kitchen twice this week. I'm juggling two projects that need way more attention and the laundry is piling up. I'm worried about the amount of money being spent lately of things that are absolute necessities and gosh darnit I'm back to biting my cuticles. Today, its actually theraputic for me to write and also begin making my menu for Thanksgiving. Grrrrrr, homework to do and this day is almost gone.
-adds a slab of chicken-fried steak-

I'd love one quiet day in bed when my thoughts don't say...this HAS to be done today. I want to sleep. I want to bake cookies and watch a great movie. I want to snuggle and not move an inch.

-add some of that good ole sweet potatoe pie -

No matter what I do, or how hard I try, someone goes without something they need from me. I'm worried about flunking an assignment. Or being a bad friend. Or being undependable. Letting down my family. Forgetting something that my husband may need me to do.

God knows I can't do it alone, so I'm trying to trust him. Meanwhile, keep up with the momentum.
I put this in draft mode...released it today after I added that  I received a BEAUTIFUL pair of diamond earrings from boo as an appreciation gift. Thank you God for answering my question regarding if anyone was paying attention.

Playoffs....Round 2

We made it through Round 1...when I said MADE it...I mean literally. We were down 20-17 when the heavens opened up...yeap! Power Outage. The lights went out ALL OVER STOCKTON! The game resumed the next day and we came crashing back to a 34-20 win to lead us into Round 2. The boys will need to come much stronger for the next round and it's expected to rain.  Maxxpreps spoke to twin and few others shortly after the game:

Image for MaxPreps Video.


Happy Birthday Dorothy

One of the most accomplished actresses of her time, she set a high on screen standard for the African-American female film stars who followed and continue to follow her. As a child, I wanted to be her, dreamed of being as beautiful as her and loved her movies.  She rose to the top of her profession with her first starring role and became the first African-American woman to receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. But, just as fast as her success was achieved, so did it begin to fade. She had the drive and the talent to make it but the color of her skin held her back and her life soon began a downward spiral which in the end turned tragic. She is described as a kind and extremely giving individual who wanted to please everyone.

To support herself and to make contacts, she established herself as a nightclub singer, appearing at important clubs throughout the country. After appearing in a couple of low-budget films, her major breakthrough came when she was cast opposite Harry Belafonte in "Bright Road" (1953). Soon afterward, Dandridge won the coveted title role in Otto Preminger's "Carmen Jones" (1954), an all-black adaptation of George Bizet's opera "Carmen." Her performance in Carmen Jones won her an Academy Award nomination, the first for an African-American. She continued to work in nightclubs, but it was three years before she made another film. That same year, she won the Golden Globe Award for best actress in a musical film for her role in the film. Dorothy Dandridge made historic contributions to her profession and her race despite being stereotyped and having only a small number of significant roles. She blazed a new path by showing that African-American women could handle starring roles in white-dominated films. By the end of her short life, Dorothy Dandridge had brought the black actress in films from behind the shadows and had emerged as Hollywood's first authentic movie goddess of color. --courtesy, The Biography of Dorothy Dandridge, a book I read from cover to cover a few years ago


For Colored Girls

I saw it, and in my opinion...It is clear that Tyler Perry took on this project with the best intentions to make this something to be proud of. Based on his history of broad comedies and thin dramas I doubted he could carry the dramatic heft of this film, an ambitious adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s acclaimed play “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf,” but I think he succeeded.

I'll go so far as to say that I liked it so much that it was almost as if he had no creative input in the movie at all. If Kimberly Elise or Anika Noni Rose doesn't at least get Oscar nominations for their roles, then something is definitely wrong. But that's just my opinion. I think my husband was the only male in the packed theater that looked like he wasn't forced to go see it (there were 3 more black men in the theatre).  I enjoyed it so much although it broke my heart. Unfortunately I related to some of the more serious topics in the movie, others just broke my heart. The acting was impeccable.  As sincere as the movie was there are still some who will never understand the plight of the african american woman. 
One thing different from the original was the policeman. Thank goodness Tyler put him in the movie so that all black men don't come across as horrible.  I am so proud of Mr. Perry for his work. He broke my heart, made me proud and honored the gift that God has given him. 


Obama's Perfect Analogy

So my facebook status on Tuesday went something like "I just voted and although I studied...I'm still quite frustrated and not feeling so wonderful about my particular choices...Lord help California".

I wasn't not going to talk about the changed political landscape, or the largest turnover in the House since World War 2, or the Teabaggers and other Repug's need 'to right a wrong' (we all know what they consider wrong). Oh, but I will. At the Oregon Convention Center, President Barack H. Obama said: "After they drove the car into the ditch, they made it as difficult as possible for us to pull it back, and now as we're slowly but surely pulling the car out, keeping in mind that it's badly dented and may need a tune up--now they're tapping on our shoulders, wanting the keys back. No! You can’t drive! We don’t want to have to go back into the ditch. We just got the car out!"

Using that same analogy, the voters seem united in their anger and frustration but divided in what the prescription is and what to do about it, except for changing 'change', so, for the most part, they decided they're going to push the car halfway back in the ditch, disabling the engine, and taking out the transmission and putting it in backwards, removing the starter and alternator, removing the battery and putting it back in, upside down, while wanting the car out of the ditch shiny and new and running in perfect condition.

We will soon learn the definition of true gridlock. Yes...I mean Los Angeles, Friday afternoon at 4:30pm type gridlock. 
I predict, that since they'll be working against the President rather then working with him, the car will be not just in the ditch but heading toward the bottom of the lowest part, underneath mud and slime.

It may not be as simple as that, but I’m disappointed...as I said, I'm not going to talk about the changed political landscape. the biggest gain in the party since 1938, or the Teabaggers and other Repug's need 'to right a wrong.' I'll just focus on the fact that every local candidate here that I voted for, won their seats...and it doesn't feel wonderful at all.
sorry, I'm venting



Lots going on! CJ's team clinched a playoff spot. We play this weekend against the #1 seed.  I think we can get 'em. A win means we roll next week. The twins finish up league this Friday night and then it's on to playoffs for them as well.  Twin A currently has amassed 1000 yds on the season...and the last 3 games he's been BEASTIN! Last week's game he ran for 200+ yards and 4 tds! Meanwhile in the NFL....Randy acts up, I am rolling in my fantasy league and Halloween has come and gone and we did it INCREDIBLE this year....hold your seats! We not done yet...Stay tuned....



Song In My Head

Its just sick that I base music on if it makes me lift heavier...doing 30lbs on the arm curls with this new one. GO DRAKE!

House of Love

This is one of our favorite songs...the video concept touched my heart. Enjoy


If you are blessed enough

to have someone you love say you are beautiful...it is an incredible feeling. 

In my life I've had times when I've been unconfident about my body, looks, personality etc., but being told by the man you love that you are beautiful erases all of that.

What If's

The present

What if I never wondered what if (since I can’t go back in time to retrace my steps anyway )

and just went on with my life, accepting the choices I’ve made, and trying to make better decisions than I’ve made in the past? What if you considered your mistakes beautiful?
The future
what if;
You lived everyday like it was all that mattered.

You put your passion to work 24/7.

You changed everything.

The structure around you was just an illusion.

Things were infinite in all directions.

Nothing was as out of reach as it seems.

You stopped overthinking and started acting.

You focused on the small things to achieve big.

You learned one new thing every day.

You decided to stand up and stand out.

You showed your true personality.

You considered your mistakes beautiful.

We all found a common ground.

You helped give someone new a chance.

You worked to improve things bit by bit everyday.

You were exactly who you wanted to be.

You approached everything without fear.

You defined a career mission.

You were the one changing the world instead of watching the world change.

You worked backwards.

You stopped looking in just one direction.

You cared about being remarkable more than making money.
You used your influence for good.

You took action today.

You didn’t just follow, you made genuine connections.

You spent time each week trying to inspire someone.

You ignored those around you who are jaded and surrounded yourself with the right influences.

Your work was just like breathing.

You embraced forgiveness.

You weren’t afraid to join the conversation.

You kept a positive mindset, even when things aren’t perfect.
You knew then what you know now.

You took a chance.

You decided to set yourself apart from the crowd.

You worked to achieve your dreams instead of just dreaming them.

Problem Is...

My creative juices are on a rampage lately. It's keeping me from being able to truly focus on one thing.  By this I mean that my ideas are just on overload. Ward Sports is in full swing and I can't decide which project should come next.  There are some ways to monetize my blog that I've been offered and I want to make the right decision.  My script writing is bizzonckers right now. I know there are so many rejects but I'm on overdrive with the screenplays and possibilities in my mind.  Just listening to people talk sometimes makes me say, "wow, great book idea"..."whoa...great screenplay".  I found a screenwriters class but there somethings I have to sometimes do in secret so that my folks don't think I'm crazy...what I mean by this is that there are SO many things I want to accomplish and try in the next few years. Quite simply, my bucket list is GROWING!

Top Six:
Sell a Screenplay
Write a book
Finish my degree
Learn Sign Language
Perfect my spanish
Take top 3 in a physique contest

slightly insane, dedication needed HUGELY for every single one. Not to mention this is only my top 6.  In the meantime, the winter league is ramping up and I'm about a 1/3 of the way to the membership I want to have by 12/4.  Lots of girls this year. Interesting! I love it. 

My two newest clients are two sisters ages 14 and 10 and definetly hard workers.  I notice they are much harder to break than the older ladies. They tire me out before I wear them down. I think sometimes I do too much of the workout after doing my own in the morning because I have to rest just as much as they do sometimes, but I'm definetly starting to see some change in their bodies and their strength. I love it.

For now...I push towards this continued to peace that I now have and I'm so happy that joy is abundant.

PS - My daddy has just become the new assistant Pastor of his church in Texas. I'm so happy for him and my mommy. They deserve it all.

All love,


Movie Time

I'm not much of a movie watcher. I like documentaries, history and forensics but my favorite movies are about love and the melodrama that surrounds it. In any other movie genre I like originality. I like not knowing how it's going to end. I like being at the edge of my seat, but with movies about love, I love predictability. I like the idea of someone finding their love, losing them due to some misunderstanding (or family issue, racism, crime, drama, wrong time of life etc) and eventually getting back with them, and the two of them living happily after. Yes, I now am willing to admit that I am a hopeless romantic. I thought if I wrote it enough times I could talk myself out of it but it's true.  I believe in love and the power of it to be able to conquer all. I love Pretty Woman, About Last Night, PS I love you and An Officer and a Gentleman...but I'll be honest...the greatest love stories in my book are my african american cinema...we love hard, we love good, we love rich and poor. We curse it out, pray for it, fight for it, punch at it, condemn it, kill for it...but mostly black actors seem to make me just feel it!

My favorite is perhaps Brown Sugar, Claudine, and Love & Basketball. My ALL TIME favorite Mahogany. My other tier includes The Best Man, Jason's Lyric, and Jungle Fever.

Of course Pretty Woman was a feel good movie but not likely. It still makes me smile though.

Demi Moore has always been a favorite and at an early age I was drawn to About Last Night, a movie about when it happens to fast and you overlook small things chaos and finally destruction happens.

PS, I love you is a cute little movie about love and death and how people move on. I found myself feeling so badly for the lead character but in the end so happy for her growth.

Officer and a Gentlemen. Need a say more. I still want to have a man come pick me up at work and carry me out with my legs wrapped around him everytime I see this movie.  The shower scene in which Richard Gere cries and holds his friend who has just committed suicide is still a scene I watch like I've never seen it before...and him and Lou Gossett make this movie a hit for life.

Brown Sugar. wow...what more can I say. I love this movie. I think what I love most is when they are sitting on the bench in the park and he tells her that he reads her column every single month.  I love that park of the movie. I catch myself smiling while I'm watching it, especially when they are wrapping to each other "I met this girl when I was 10 years old and what I love about her, she had so much soul.  That song be reminding me of us". Love it!

Claudine. Greatness even before I was more.  If you haven't seen this, you better ask somebody. Better yet, rent it! If you can't find love in the hood, in the projects, which a million kids when you on welfare and your man is garbage man. You can't find it anywhere.  The dramatic scene in which the pregnant daughter comes home to tell Claudine and gets beat with a brush is a scene that will never leave me but the joy I felt when they all (and I mean all) going to jail together in the end...THAT'S LOVE!

Love and Basketball. How can you not love a movie about black people and love. A good one at that.  I didn't have a favorite scene except for maybe at the end seeing him on the court watching with his daughter watching mommy. I enjoyed the entire movie and for some reason everytime it comes on tv, I watch it over and over.

Mahogany. Anyone who loves me knows this is my favorite love story of all time. I know the words through and through. It reminds of when I was a kid watching my mommy get dressed but the bond between Diana and Billy is untouchable...except for in Lady Sings the Blues...my other favorite so I combined them because to me they are one and the same. My two favorite scenes:   

The Eaglet

Have you ever studied Eagles? Recently I heard a very interesting story about them. I promised that I would share this story with my friends and family because it was so amazing to me.  Eagles are the only birds that mate for life. Their life span is 20-30 years and if one mate dies the other may find a new mate but they stay in the same nesting territory. 

Now all this is well and sweet and the fact that Eagles are monogamous is wonderful but the thing I found so interesting was the female eagle.  Her ritual is just so pure and "motherly".  For weeks, sometimes even months she drops a twig near her potential mate and he swoops down and grabs the twig. She flies higher and drops the twig and he flies down and grabs it before it can hit the ground. She continues to fly even higher in anticipation that the Eagle will fly down and grab that twig over and over again and each time she drops it from the highest of heights...he grabs it.  She doesn't get tired. She plays this little mating game until she is satisfied that he is THE ONE. You still don't get it? You will. Watch for it.

Now when she makes him "her's" and allows him to bound with her for life and create eaglets, he has proven that he can care for her and her babies.  Once the eaglets arrive it is her job to teach them to fly.  The eaglet is the only bird that does not come from the womb knowing how to fly instinctively.  It must be taught.  Momma eagles takes the bird up to the highest of highs and drops them, continuously until they "get it".  Some may fly...some may fall to their death but the majority of the time, those who do not get it right away must be dropped and caught. Now you get it huh? Who's doing the catching? Old papa eagle down there is watching his post.  He's caught enough twigs in mid air to be able to catch his little babies by now. 

Moral of the story to my sisters out there...when making babies with Tom, Penis and Harry...make sure your baby daddy can catch a twig before you let him "catch you"...for life.


Some thoughts

Just playing with my thoughts today:

You decide every moment of everyday who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance every second.  We must ignore the rain and look for rainbows.

I don't want to have everything I ask for because it might not be what I'm supposed to have. I only want to have what God wants me to have. It would be better for me in the end. I've learned that...the hard way.


I love this....


Me in 30 Words

diplomatic, God-fearing, complicated, polite, curious, shy, good-natured, exotic, odd, loving, methodical, introspective, witty, open, spontaneous, creative, loving, patient, disciplined, neurotic, kind, intimidating, generous, selfish, unselfish, true, right-brained, dreamer, loved, learning.


A Couple of Proverbs

One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.

– Chinese Proverb

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in
–Greek proverb


Proverbs 26:11. "As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."


What My Boys Do! - Work

Saint Mary's High School - Trust your ending point!


Women - Can't we all just get along?

I've never had a ton of female friends. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people, but it's way easier for me to make friends with the opposite sex. When it comes to women (or should I say girls), something always gets in the way of what could have been a potentially great friendship. Somewhere down the line, she'll "switch up" & become a completely different person. I've seen girls transform from sweet & down-to-earth to jealous, petty, & stank almost overnight. Not only are men easier to deal with, women put too much emphasis on the wrong things and who's "greater than" when it comes to friendship. It's all about how you make them look when it should actually be about what you have in common and how you support each other. In other words, if you out-shine her in any way, she might take that as a a threat & kick you to the curb. In some cases, she'll keep you but talk about you behind your back the first chance you get. 

I thought as I got older this would fade and maturity would take over but as a girl it is, hair, clothes, make up, your boyfriend, your parents car, looks and gossip.  As a women it is all those same things except it includes, kids, husbands, jobs, cars, houses etc.  It's really quite sad that sometimes you can't share a story about your child without your girlfriend trying to "one-up" you.  Get your hair done and you'll know its cute if know one compliments you...but go through some drama...and boy...they circle like flies.

A little perspective on why I think women can't seem to stay friends:

Quantity over quality.
Most of the women in the age group of 18-25 would prefer having a million fake friends over 1 or 2 real ones. As you get older you will notice women seems to break away from that and only have 1 or 2 good friends.

Friendly competition is natural, but constantly trying to out-do someone is just petty.

A single, attractive man is probably the easiest way to put a rift between two basic broads who don't see why the other deserves him more. Meanwhile, he's not thinking about either one of them. As a grown married woman, don't let your husband be worth a dang and show you affection in front of your friends...they'll not only hate, but start a fight with their husband over it and have him hating your husband. :-)

Don't befriend gossipers, then turn around & get mad when you're the one being gossiped about. The rule I've found is if they talk about the person that they hang around with most, you can ASSURE they are talking about you.

If you suspect she's jealous, that's because she is. There's a reason why she always finds something wrong with you, or never gives you props when you achieve something or know you look great (you know when you know you looking good, not just thinking you looking good).

Girls tend to feed off of it. Women run from it.
The friend thing should go both ways. If her car breaks down, you're the first one to come pick her up. When yours breaks down, she's throwing up the dueces... Not a good look.

I've found that my best friends tend to be a little older than me or have known me when I wasn't "spit". They are proud of how my life is and how hard I work to make life better for my family. Treat your old friends like Gold and shake the drama, selfishness, jealousy and competitors.



Since January 2009, I have been a freak...no nasty...not sexual freak. I mean just WIERD! Spazzed out, lonely, logging, searching...all the above:

My forms of inspiration were

A - Music
B - Liquor
C - Bubble Bath

mostly all three...I took so many Bubble Baths, with tequilla shots lined up on the tub with my ipod connected to the computer and still no rest...talking to myself out loud like "okay, maybe this, but maybe that, but I think this or that, oh I'm so screwed".

It's funny...been ages since I took a shot to clear my head, needed music to clear my head and its' been ages since there were bubbles in the tub...and still...peace.

Waiting for Superman

This movie breaks my heart. Each time I see the trailer it's like the first time. I've been waiting to see it since it's inception. It's finally here. Can't wait to see it this Saturday. John Legend will host it in our itty bitty town.



So Happy It's Friday - GAME NIGHT...Let's see...Likes/Dislikes

skittles - diggin them right now, especially red and yellow
looking forward to seeing the TOWN
Marvin Sapp's children reading a poem and their mother's funeral
morning kisses
Talapia with Avocado
perfect weather
Letting go....and Letting God
shorts and tank tops around the house
reading between lines
that feeling I feel right now...so much joy

having to share my skittles with little grubby hand boys
people who come without calling
little dogs being carried around like babies...I know, I shouldn't care but it bugs me
the soreness of taking a few days off from the gym (yeeooouch!)
being the last to know something
devilish ways
admitting that i like this song or this one
feeling sleepy so early in the evening
nightmares from eating to late


All For Love...

Love is the most beautiful gift that God affords humanity this side of heaven. It can be tangibly seen, touched, and affect every area of your life…many times without your permission. Have you ever been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in sync with another human being and are immediately (if only momentarily) able to understand why God surrounds you with people so unlike but identical to yourself? To be one of two hearts in a consistent exchange of positive regard and unconditional care. And it is beautiful because it feels right and perfect…

But what of those moments where things have gotten so out of control that we look around and wonder how Love became a catalyst for such unrest and pain? What is the answer when men overstep their commitment barriers or when a woman abuses her lover’s trust? What of the victims of gossip, manipulation, self-pity, unselfishness and one-sided relationships? The heart that always gives but never receives anything in return…where can love be naturally applied? I am a living, breathing testimony that Jesus is the source for all healing when you’ve suffered heartache at the hands of those you love. He is truly all you need. When all is right with him, all will be right with you and those you love. There is no perfect love. Only perfect peace and joy.
Even before the Fall, God declared that it’s “incomplete” that man is alone. Adam had God all to himself…and even still he was incomplete. Not quite finished. Loved and the most precious part of His creation, but still lacking an important element: a companion. Someone like him, but unique enough to exist as a separate person. Why did God take out a part of an incomplete man (his rib) to make him complete?

I’m thinking that forgiveness and trust is not only for the wounded heart, nor for the transgressor, but for the bond broken. For the good of us all, and not just individuals. The moment I become especially distant from the hearts that divinely pump life around me, the more the voice of my own self-doubt, self-interest and self-need drowns out the gentle whisper of our Lord. Love can be horrible. Confusing sometimes. And the ultimate test of our lives designed to connect us deeper and stronger to each other, and ultimately, to God the Father. Only the strong and obedient shall survive and it takes HIM to shake us hard sometimes to know what it is truly about. Greatness often comes on the brink of destruction. So glad to finally know.


Do You Know This Face?

This is the composite sketch the Vancouver Police Department released after Bethany Storro said she was attacked by a black woman. But she doesn't exist. The Bethany Scorro (BS) situation is a another example of when the media rushes to judgment. She was "supposedly" attacked a few weeks ago in a subway in which a "black woman" through acid in her eyes.  "Fortunately", it was 7:30pm in the evening and she was "lucky" enough to be wearing sunglasses and only a portion of her lower and nose was burned.

In Vancouver several black women were questioned and interrogated who matched the description of the alleged attacker before they discovered Storro made it up.  Sociopaths and under cover racists have a tendency to want to believe that all crime is done by African-Americans.

The Columbian newspaper in northwest Washington wrote that plenty of people have a right to be upset with Storro, including "Vancouver's African-Americans, who are troubled that Storro described the woman who supposedly attacked her as black. For weeks the Vancouver news paper had included Storro's description of her alleged attacker as a "black woman," as did scores of other news organizations, including this one.

Again, as with so many others society bought her story, hook, line and sinker and of course the criminal this woman dreamed up was black.

In 1994, Susan Smith, a 23-year-old white woman, drowned her two young sons by driving her car into John D. Long Lake in Union, S.C. For over a week, she claimed a black man had hijacked her car, and she went on national television to beg the unidentified black man -- who did not exist -- to return her children unharmed. This is yet another cautionary tale for journalists, for law enforcement people, for judges and prosecutors, for people in the medical field who take care of victims.  All of us can learn some important lessons about rushing to judgment even when the evidence "appears" to be overwhelming.

Years before, in 1989, Charles Stuart, who was again white, claimed a black man had shot and killed his pregnant wife, Carol, during an armed robbery in the Boston neighborhood of Mission Hill. Stuart was severely wounded as well. Months later, it was discovered that Stuart was the killer, but not before police shook down and interrogated nearly every black man in Mission Hill and had arrested William Bennett, a black man, in connection with the crime. Bennett was later cleared, but the case inflamed already tense racial relations in Boston.  Stuart committed suicide in 1990.

I'm not sure what the answer is because when people have terrible things happen to them, we generally believe them but it's incredibly frustrating that often times when something bad happens on the news to a white person blacks say "yeah right" and others say "you see!"

On NBC's "Today" show this morning, Schuman said Storro is "very remorseful" but could face criminal charges for lying about the incident to the police and for prompting an "incredibly expensive" investigation that "wasted a lot of valuable resources."

Really? Community Service again huh? I certainly hope not.



Wishing a Special Birthday to my incredible husband...Happy Birthday Superman!


Some Sports Thoughts - Gotta Ride with Vick Eagles...You KNOW IT!

So I haven't done my sports thoughts in a while and with football season in full gear...not to mention I just beat daddy week 1 in fantasy I thought I'd better get to it. Besides the whole hoochie sports reporter, San Bruno PG&E blow up and Obama being on tv every other day is bringing me down...I decided to go VICK BABY!

It’s Michael Vick we’re talking about here. So nothing is ever as simple as it seems.

The moment he runs well, he can’t pass. The minute he passes with accuracy, he gets happy and forgets he needs to run. Caught in between are the electrifying heroics, accentuated by mesmerizing speed – the kind that has everyone baffled as to why he is not a starting quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles – that leaves us all transfixed and aching for more. Not to mention he BLEW IT on Pros vs. Joes. That is…right up until the moment the final horn sounds and you find yourself saying, “Damn! He lost.”

Again, it’s Michael Vick we’re talking about here.

But in the aftermath of the Eagles 27-20 loss to Green Bay on Sunday, Vick was the talk of the town. He was the guy who energized the Eagles, who made their offense resemble something other than offensive. He was the guy who guided the Eagles to 17 points and actually forced the Packers to break a sweat. And if there’s anyone who said his immediate ascension on their depth chart didn’t cross their minds, they’re either lying, smoking something or too much of an animal lover to aim any degree of objectivity in Vick’s direction.

Vick’s promotion to starting quarterback appears inevitable, folks. If not next week, then right around the time Eagles fans start panicking about their season being in jeopardy, which essentially means around Week 5. If not because of a concussion suffered by Kevin Kolb, then it’ll be because of a performance that resembles someone suffering from a concussion.

At least it seems as if things will be this way after one game.

Vick had some awful moments during the preseason. This was a follow-up to last season when he passed for a grand total of 86 yards. His teammates appeared more infatuated with Kolb.

On Sunday, Vick was….Vick at his best. He passed for 175 yards, completing 66 percent of his passes, and registered a 101.9 passer rating. He ran for an additional 103 yards. He scampered for a 31-yard run that put the Eagles in position for one touchdown and threw for another 17-yard TD.

Reid said in a quote after the game that although Vick did a good job 'Kolb is our #1 quarterback", I mean, I get it.  He looked the part. Played the part, too, since he waited four seasons for his chance. He's a coach’s son has descent accuracy and they aren't going to drop that to highlight a new era that didn’t directly involve someone who’d spent 18 months in federal prison.

Now it's football season and none of that matters.

Victories matter, and Andy Reid has to figure out a way to come up with them. There’s no doubt his defense will capture a few for him, but at some point it’s about putting a playmaker in position to get the job done.

It’s nice to think a DeSean Jackson or Brent Celek is enough to fill that void. But they’ll need someone to throw them the football. Kolb can’t do it.

 Get it down Vick

Song In My Head

I like this song...it's a hit...not feelin the rap but the actual song is pretty cute.


In the Air Tonight

Okay this is what you have to picture:

10 minutes left until start of the game. It's usually getting cold but I'm still pumped. Rams run out in their green and white and begin stretching...I'm getting more pumped as the clock ticks down about seeing "BAM BAM" hit the hole...every week like clock work just about 5 minutes before start of the game the announcer plays my song, and whether I'm hot or cold..."I can feel it"...and I said "SHHHHHHHH, BE QUIET, THIS MY FAVORITE PARK" by the time the drum solo comes, I'm doing air drums in the air and my kids refuse to look up in the stands and their daddy scoots down just a little. SOOOOO WHAT! "I can feel it coming in the air tonight"!

Let's get it crackin RAMS!


Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

--author unknown

My New " I Tend To"

Job 32:18


18 For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me.


End of 2010's "I Tend To":

  • Bite my lip and frown when people say inappropriate things
  • Get a slight flutter in my belly when people drop "F" Bombs
  • be nicer to people than they are to me.
  • Read more on facebook than post
  • Find new things interesting
  • buy books that are interesting to me and I know one day I'll read them all
  • end each meal with something sweet
  • love kitkats but hate to buy them...no more reeses
  • be a little kinder to people determined to be mean to me.
  • hate being late
  • appease my mommy, hubby and the twins.
  • treat people better than I know they would treat me.
  • talk during uncomfortable silences to new people
  • sleep less during the week
  • have better come-backs, too late.
  • convince myself of success. And then I succeed.
  • leave the gym immediately if I forgot my ipod player
  • pray more, read more, Thank God more, love harder, forgive easier and do unto thy neighbor....


God is Good ALL THE TIME!

So hubby and I got the bright idea to drive his father's car instead of flying back from the funeral services in OH. Seemed like a good idea and some wonderful bounding time for us as well. 

I was nervous but of course I do realize that he isn’t the average man and no matter what with God and him I was in good hands. Obviously after loosing his parents exactly two months from each other is devasting but he continues to be strong, smile and keep going. He had the car tuned up, all the fluids changed and well inspected before we left. Mind you although this car is 15 years old  it doesn’t have a mark on it, has been garaged for over a year, has a Corvette engine and only had 45,000 miles on it.

We both thought, let’s have a family prayer with all our loved ones before we leave but with pictures and hugs and well wishes we forget and as we stopped at a fast food restaurant we held hands and said a little one minute prayer (as I look back, it was canned, rehearsed, blah blah blah prayer). We laughed and joked on down the highway, found an R&B station in every city and managed to get through the end of Ohio and Indiana without a problem. 18 miles outside of Peoria, Ill. is when the fun began! The GPS didn’t give a location, it only said we were 18 miles from our next major city, no mile markers, no freeway signs, no lights, no nothing…just country. The car stopped. It coasted enough to get to the line dividing us and the freeway. The trucks were coming and literally blowing the car. He cranked a couple of times and nothing, nothing at all. The temperature gage raced hot to 260 and still nothing. We both looked at each other and started praying, praying,and more praying. He got out and raised the hood, and that radiator was hot but not that hot. Nothing. I’m just sitting in the car, “Father God, don’t leave us out here, you said whatsoever we ask for shall be given if we are obedient, Lord help us, you wouldn’t leave us out here in the middle of nowhere , so please Lord, start working this out”. He put his hands on the engine and said “Lord, did I get your signs wrong? I know you wouldn’t leave me out here with my wife in the middle of nowhere. Help us Lord”. He was looking for some flares in the trunk and couldn’t find any but he brought the bible out and we started reading scriptures. I called a tow truck but after attempts to explain our vicinity he got frustrated and hung up on me. I prayed and asked God to guide my eyes on this phone to the right number and tried again. The woman, listened and listened and said, “honey, I don’t care where you are, we are going to find you and get you out of there”. Her tow driver called and was even nicer. I was thinking, Lord help us, don’t send no crazy folks out here for no “Deliverance” mess. I know whoever you sending out here is an angel coming to do your work. Well don’t you know that man came with his crazy looking skin head self, and he truly was doing God’s work. He wouldn’t even put the car up on the truck, he told us, “we gonna figure this out, cause it’s not running hot”, by this time, the car was starting, but the check engine light was still on. We know (well they knew) it had nothing to do with the temperature or the car running hot. (I don’t know how he knew but he said it wasn’t that). My FIL had left a doohickey in the trunk, some kind of computerized diagnostic system thingy and the driver plugged it in to the car and let it do its thing. 20%, 50%, 90% Complete. He said “start it up”, and don’t you know that car started up…sounded STRONG! The engine light went off and everything! We were thinking about stopping at a hotel and having it looked at the next morning but my husband said, this car sounds strong and fine. We gonna keep going. I said okay, but I was thinking “O K A Y”, I’m trusting you Lord….and that we did. That car went on another 1900miles! Across, 7 more states and had the nerve to get even better gas mileage. All the way back to CA…but I couldn’t share till we were safely home. We didn’t take any more chances either. We plugged our ipod in and Marvin Sapp, Commissioned, Mary Mary, Hezekiah Walker, Helen Baylor, Kirk Franklin and every other song we know and loved all the way back home and each state we went through we praised God and thanked him for our continued journey. I know it was long, but it’s a testimony I had to share. God is good ALL THE TIME!

Had to share!