Little things make a big difference. Have you done a little thing today that has made someone smile? Made yourself smile or maybe think. Instead of looking at the girl at the gym in jealousy, did you tell her that her arms look great? Did you hold the door open for grandma who was moving slowly? Did you compliment someone on what a great person you think they are? Did you tell an old classmate how great you think they look now instead of skipping over to Farmville? Did you tell your child to have a great day before they hopped out the car or the door? Did you thank God for waking you up this glorious morning? Sometimes...it's the small things that make a world of difference.



Been thinking, having a moment for the last oh few weeks. Lots on my mind, it's a cross between the boys, their choices, my life and my choices, work, school, the future the past and so on.Sometimes I feel...
nevermind...GOTTA GET IT!

Pardon my rant...just mindless garble.


Screw IT!

I am trying
To just live this life
At least survive the day
But when everything keeps hitting
From every side
Just maintaining my foothold
Takes every ounce of strength
That I don't even have
And here I am just trying to believe
Maybe I'll just live today
And then see how it goes
And maybe I'll make it to the next day
I'll see when I get there
For now I just need to find my next step
Found...for one more day.


Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing whats next, or how.

The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.

The artist never entirely knows. We guess.

We may be wrong... but we take leap after leap in the dark



Boy boy boy what an exciting game! I was on the edge of my seat all night. What a glorious Victory for the Saints. I rememember when they were the AINTS. I once heard someone say the Saints were the only team who could snatch defeat from Victory...but I've seennnnnnnn the Mountain.

The Saints are SUPERBOWL BOUND DADDY! You tell them folks You were a Saints fan before I was an itch in your pants. ROLL ON SAINTS!


I slept on this song but I'm on it now! Love it


Crap Blog

i've started writing so many blogs and have then deleted them or left them undrafted for one of, or a combination of, the following reasons:

a. it'll take too long to write
b. it would sound better if you heard it, as opposed to read it
c. i don't think anyone will care about the content
d. it's too private to share

what kind of blogger does that make me? yes. a crap one.

perhaps my blogging days are behind me...or maybe just a break for now. Therapy is nearing the end.

NOT - I'm too vain, too much of a narcissist (is that spelled right, I'm on my blackberry), too "victim", too drama, just toooo...to not write about myself and my little life. You love it! You know you do.


No Words - Pray for Haiti

The way I feel when I think of what they are going through cannot be described. I continue to pray for Haiti.


I Loved This...Don't You



i'll admit it,
i was lonely,
i needed you then,
i wanted you to help fill those gaps of solitude,
i had no one and you were there,
in the back of my mind,
i saw no future,
i just saw the present,
i was alone and you were there,
you fell in love,
i felt sorry for you,
so i stayed,
i know heartbreak,
wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy,
and still, i was alone but you were there,
wanted to love you so badly,
like the way i once did for him,
yet, those memories of heartache,
have numbed veins that once pumped love,
i hate that you're in love with me,
i hate that i can't be in love with you

i found someone else,
he's what i want,
i'm not alone but i still want him,
and he wants me,
just not as much as i want him,
he needs me for right now,
and i'll take that,
no future in mind,
i've fallen for him,
he revived my heart,
but instead of feeling light,
it feels heavy,
he doesn't love me,

i can't tell you of my infidelity,
it'll hurt you,
and i can't bare the guilt,
besides, i don't want to be lonely,
and, well...
you're still here

by ACH


Holidays are over -

I have to say that I had the most perfect vacation that one could ask for. I truly "rested" in every sense of the word. I relaxed. I slept. I ate. I breathed. I loved. I smiled. I laughed. I shopped. I prayed. I cried. I enjoyed. I, I, I, I, I.

Yes, this rest was about me. I saw the sad faces as I left. I listened to the I miss yous while I was gone but I took a little break and I'm ready to do mommy again just a bit longer :-)

Thank you to my family for the break. I love you all so very much.

Just a few things I did for the first time on this break.

Had Papadeux's. The biggest plate of food and probably the only plate I wasn't able to finish.

Found out they had Hawaiian BBQ in the South

tasted cheese eggs (no, I never had them before)

went to a club that made me realize I'm too old to be going to clubs

experienced scarey black ice

Ate watchnight soup

realized the TRUE meaning of cold

I'm sure there are many others but it's late and I'm tired. Hugs and love again

Existing? Living?

I finally had the priviledge of watching "The Family that Preys" over the holiday break. It's stuck with me every since. I loved the movie but one line in particular continues to stick with me. "Are you living or just existing?". I've been thinking of that line each morning when I wake up, sometimes thinking of it when I go to sleep at night. Am I? I'm not ready for that discussion yet so I think I'll go another direction.

My imagination can tend to run away from me at times. One iota of evidence, mixed with an already existing tendency towards distrust, can paint a clear picture prematurely. It wasn't until recently that I realized how this way of thinking was sabotaging my life. One of the wisest women I know, tells me, "Believe little of what you hear, and even less of what you see."

Little girls are led away by their pre-existing notions which are usually made concrete by prototypes of the past. It takes a grown woman to recognize that the more life you experience, the less typical life seems to be. I'm beginning to understand that. My defense mechanisms & victim mentality will only aid in keeping me trapped in a self-fulfilling prophecy that I will always stop short of fulfillment. In a constant cycle of disappointment, and with a strong inability to see joy in each breath and sunrise.

The inner corridors of my head are where this battle rages daily. But, I have become more victorious lately. There are far too many dreams and desires close enough within my grasp to continue to nurse wounds that have already scabbed over. The hamster continues to spin on the wheel. Don't mind me.