4/30/09

Dikembe



This vid will only be appreciated by the TRUE NBA fans. Gotta love Dikembe Mutombo! G

Loving Myself (Practice Makes Perfect) - A Poem


The Art of Loving myself is one I have yet to master
I have to practice...every single day...
There are times when I peer into the mirror and
the face staring back says...I am unworthy...
it taunts and teases me...attempting to shred
my self esteem
and in those moments...I know I am learning
to love myself...
I come to life and go to war with myself
in order to defend myself...
Civil War on the battleground
of my soul...a place where I fight the
demons of my life...
funny to say I got bounceback...I always say that
everyone believes that is true...everyone but me
I try to do so with no fear
I stand in the face of the old me
the one who hangs her head...
only good to make a bed...or in bed...hhmmm
and squeeze the life from me
she must be dead...in order for the enlightened me to
rise resurrected from ashes...of days gone by
and do so seemingly everyday
for the art of loving myself
is one I have yet to master
I will never stop practicing

4/29/09

My New Favorite Song - The Man Who Can't Be Moved



This is a hit from last year but it's my new favorite song for the moment. I love it. What do you think?

Sounds Familiar



As I travel next week back to Texas, I'm sure my family will be walking off into the sunset next week. Well, at least eating pizza in a filthy house with unwashed clothes as they work out each night.

4/28/09

GET OUT!


Backseat bickering bugs just about every mother, but when a Manhattan lawyer had enough of her quarreling daughters, she kicked them out of the car and drove off. Madlyn Primoff, 45, dropped her tweens in a shopping district three miles from their home on Sunday night and has since pleaded not guilty to child endangerment.

"Police would not say if Primoff ever returned to look for the girls, but they said, without explaining how, that the 12-year-old eventually caught up with the mother. The 10-year-old was found by a "Good Samaritan" on the street, upset and emotional about losing her mother, police said."


Here's the thing...been there done that. Yes, you heard me! I BEEN THERE DONE THAT AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN and dare you to get in my business. When I say "DON'T SAY NOTHING UNTIL I STOP THIS CAR" I mean that dammit! Especially if I've been saying "knock it off". I have put my kids out, granted, not downtown where they can freak me out and run into some store or get snatched up in two minutes. Blocks from home and on roads I can see from end to end. Each time I've come back and said, "you ready to get in this car and act like a passenger now" and had no issue the rest of the ride home.

Now, listen, I have no doubt that those kids will remember this incident for the rest of their lives. I have no doubt the mom will remember it, too. But can we give kids - and parents - a little bit of credit for resilience? The idea that a bad day, even a scary awful day, means a child is scarred for life just means that every day in every way we could be ruining our kids forever. God forbid we do or say something stupid, the gig is up. If you really want to punish them....take them to a store and buy yourself a pint of ice cream. Then drive them out to a country road and park 3 miles from them and watch them walk to you while eating your ice cream.

Naturally, I do not think that this mom handled her kids in a truly optimal way. But most of us have days when we don’t. That doesn’t make us criminal parents. It makes us human parents. And kids are built to live with humans, not Robo-Mamas. As I said, her mistake is in the fact that she put them out downtown in a town where at least one passerby was too nosey to actual care. Not one person said "oooo yeah, she is pissed" and stand nearby to watch the kids as she drove around a long busy block. We don't live in a world were people can put her two girls out downtown without some pedophile thinking it's his or her chance to "pounce". We also don't live in a world ANYMORE were most kids are smart enough to say, "lets sit here until she comes back" or "lets get to hiking". These too chickenheads took it upon themselves to go separate directions. Which means, mom probably hadn't done this before or that the kids are spoiled as hell and decided they would give her a scare and go in opposite directions.

Either way, the mom learned, the kids learned. If Sandra Cantu's parents were not prosecuted for letting her roam the trailer park, if Adam Walsh's parents were not prosecuted for allowing him to stand in a crowded store and play video games while they shopped, and if Gwen Araujo's mother let her walk out the house knowing what could happen and she wasn't prosecuted...well then who are we to judge a mother who is fed up with bickering and puts her kids out the car.

There I said it!

4/22/09

I Got This Baby!

I've had a GREAT DAY SO FAR! It's only 8am and I've already been to the gym at 5am, made happy-face pancakes, omelettes, country bacon, french toast and fresh squeezed orange juice for my family. I took everyone to school, hugged a tree, went to the grocery store and put all of my family of 7's groceries into recycle bags to carry home (it took 15 bags), had a fresh cup of coffee, read three chapters of Luke and I'm on way to tan in the back yard once I finish homeschooling Cayden for a little bit this morning.

NOT!!!!! I worked out at the gym from 9:30 to 10:30 last night after drinking 2 sips of a 5 hour energy drink and I was up until 2am. I tossed and turned cause I knew I shouldn't have drank that idiot's potion. It was HOT as hell all damn night so I was uncomfortable and sweaty. I don't have carpool today so I only had to take CJ to school. I have no idea what the big boys even had for breakfast but CJ had a bowl of fruitloops that he gulped down in 2.5 seconds cause I didn't wake up until 7:15. I only know it's Earth Day cause the news is on. I've never touched, let alone used a recycle bag at the grocery store and it would probably take 50 to get all my groceries home, I hate coffee and the smell of it makes me gag a little. I haven't touched my bible since Sunday, if I feel like it I may lay out but it's just too damn hot outside and Cayden's daddy needs to hurry up and get his bad butt into daycare before I turn into Mommy Dearest and beat his bad azz with a wire hanger.

There, I said it and I feel much better. Seriously though. I do feel better than I did yesterday. I had to go into Malcolm in the Middle mom mode to get it crackin in this house though. I know the boys all thought I was a little insane. I asked for clean rooms after school and I walked into Twin A's room to find him asleep in front of the game on tv. I walked downstairs to find Twin B sitting in the middle of that mess I took a picture of yesterday eating chocolate chip cookies and milk. I flipped and started cursing everyone out and took all cellphones, ipod shuffles, tv remotes, cable cords and game controllers and locked them in my room. "See me when your rooms and bathroom is clean".

Wow! funny how that works. I had sparkling rooms and even heard the vaccum going too. CJ even got a little nervous and started cleaning his room. I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD! Following my little spazz attack I decided to be nice and make the best fried chicken salad for dinner.

I am on my second day of my 8 day carb diet. Don't start! "Why you on a diet, you don't need to diet, you skinny bitch.blah blah blah". Everyone needs work. I've rarely had to diet, except that time I went on depo-provera and gained 17lbs but I wanted to do a little carb fast before heading to Texas because we all know Texas is
CARBLAND! I gained 8 lbs last time I was there. So if I loose 8lbs before I go I'll be perfect when I come back. I'm very concerned about the basketball tournament this weekend though. I'll be working the snackbar for most of the weekend and there is just no way to avoid those nachos with jalepenos. UGGGG!

Anyway, I have lots to do and I feel GREAT TODAY! Blessings to all

4/21/09

What Does your Birthday Say About You


DECEMBER!




Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Am I the Only One?

So yesterday the kids all returned to school following a nice little spring break and Cayden slept until 11:00am. I had a nice peaceful morning without really moving from my room after dropping the kids off to school. All the way home I sang loudly with Musiq to "So Beautiful". It's my new favorite song.

So finally about 1:00pm I actually started to make my way to start cleaning and straightening up a little. Well let me back up just a little. Normally my house gets a good cleaning on Sunday but this week we had visitors, things to do and the craziness of preparing to go back to school. I actually crashed out early on Sunday so I didn't do any "inspections" before I fell asleep.

Okay, catch back up to yesterday when I went through the house to discover a filthy Jack and Jill bathroom that my kids share, dirty rooms all around, towels left in the backyard from the weekend jacuzzi dips and dirty dishes that were not even started in the dishwasher.

Not only did I feel a little overwhelmed and agitated...I wanted to shake a 15 year old with force. Here is the thing. I had a mother who took it upon herself to wake us up in the middle of the night with either a belt or a clanging wooden spoon against a pot if we dare go to sleep with the kitchen dirty. Many nights I wanted to break EVERY DISH in that kitchen after being awaken at 2am to the sound of her annoying voice yelling about "I told you not to go to bed with that kitchen dirty". Thing is, take a chance if you dare to break...or even clang a dish...and you are liable to get a double beating with whatever her eyes fall on first as she hops out of her warm snuggly bed again. By whatever she sees first, I mean it could be her shoe, a belt, a broom...hell even her purse strap but you are gonna get it if you begin even sounding mad in the kitchen. This ain't child abuse baby. It's old skool 101!

Skip forward to 2009. My house. I'm not old skool and I stick to the things I said in that kitchen at 2 am. "When I have kids I'll never do this to them". Not to say my parents did a bad job because something must have stuck. I absolutely detest a filthy kitchen! In fact all the things that annoyed my mother when I was a child now peeve me as well, but I also don't work the hours she put in at the office. In my own humble opinion I think after getting up at 6:30am, a full day of school, weightlifting classes, basketball practice and usually a few hours of homework and dinner sometimes kids are just...tired. Everything doesn't get done every day. Somedays I demand less, some days more and that get to decide if they are going to continue in their ways and lose their priveledges or just get their work done.

Question for you?

Am I the only one who has a child who will trip over a case of water sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, look down at it as if to say "what was that doing there?" and then keep walking? Ummm hello, put away the groceries means the water too!

Am I the only one who constantly tells their children to rinse the toothpaste down the sink after they spit it out of their mouths into the sink? (ick!)

Am I the only one who watches children walk over the same dirty sock in their doorway until I tell them to pick it up.

Am I the only one who has to tell kids to put their shoes in their closet or by the front door and if I don't eventually tell them to take their shoes upstairs I'd have enough shoes by the front door to start my own shoe store.

Am I the only one who tells a child each week, "go upstairs and collect the cups out of everyone's room"

Am I the only one who picks up Caprisun wrappers on a weekly basis? I desperately need to find a remedy for the dreaded capri sun wrapper.


They have no idea that if I look in their room and see this?
I would never enter their room. That's the trick...at least for a while it works to keep the doorway clean. But when I walk down the stairs and see THIS from their doorway...
I'm coming in and all hell is breaking loose when he gets home from school today.

4/20/09

Peace



Sometimes I just want to be
Left alone
Silence
No talking
No whining
No Explanations
No "What's on your mind"
Where are you at
Just be still
It's quiet
Just me alone with
My thoughts
My faults
My dreams
My desires
Hopes for the future
Hurts from the past
beautiful compliments
stinging words
The ones I wish to erase
Stay on my case
Day after day
Sound after sound
On my busiest day
They still linger around
As my temperature
rises and falls
I stare at the wall
look up to the ceiling
close my eyes
On my days off
All I need is some
PEACE

Disclaimer: Don't get it twisted. Just some thoughts - it's quiet today. I love PEACE

4/19/09

Reason, Season, Lifetime

I found this on a site and decided to share...I don't know if it's for anyone else but me but I feel...somehow...less confused after reading it.


People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Push Me/Pull You

Ever have one of those days where you actually have something that weighs on your mind, but you just can't bring yourself to share it with anyone? Yes, contrary to what some I'm sure think, I do not share every detail of my life here on this blog. I've come to the point where I have started weighing my need to purge thoughts with the need to maintain at least some semblance of sanity with my online friends.

Let's just say that events transpired in such a way last night that what started out as a "by the book" great evening ended up a train wreck of "awkward" words and looks. Shit! For the life of me I could never have imagined that it would happen and then because I wasn't prepared for it I wasn't sure how to handle it gracefully.

Good thing I keep chocolate at home. I've also come to the conclussion that this is going to take considerable intestinal fortitude to power through this awkwardness back to being comfortable. I'll have to put my big girl panties on and pretend that talking it out doesn't make the skin on the back of my neck feel all prickly.

I dare not say more.

Eternal Struggle

The internal stuggle continues today. Sleep has brought me no answers. I am saddened and confused by the thoughts running through my head. I have given everything I can but is it enough. I have echoing fears that maybe I am not enough. I hate doubting myself. Doubting who I am. It goes against my nature. I never needed outside validation before. Why do I seem to need it now? Is it normal to go through these changes or is this sign? Maybe you and I would be healthier, happier apart. I feel like I am bringing you down sometimes. Like maybe I am holding you back. Maybe I am holding myself back too. I hate these thoughts. They come with thoughts of feeling more complete when I am with you. More in the moment and happier when we are together. I know that this is going to sound silly and overdramatic but I never really believed in love. Believed in the permenance of relationships until you. I believed that people cared about one another and mistook other feelings for that of what real love is. I don't know if I want nor need to be married ever again. I do want to be needed. I feel it is wrong for me to want that, but there it is...I do.

The Tunnel

When you first step into the cold, dark tunnel, it doesn't seem that long. You walk in it for a short time and see this glimmer of light shining down, you think "This is it, the end of the tunnel is near". But when you get to where you see the glimmer of light shinning down you realize that it isn't the end of the dark, cold tunnel as there is a left turn in the tunnel.

You turn the corner only to see more darkness. You keep running and running hoping the end of the tunnel is near, but there is no glimmer of light in sight. By now you are tired, cold, alone and you just feel like giving up because all your efforts seem like they were in vain.

So what do you do? At this point you have two options, either keep running through the long, dark, cold tunnel in hopes of making it to the light at the end of the tunnel or you can turn around and run back to the start of the tunnel.

Sure it would be easier to run back to the start of the tunnel but you will never get where you wanted to be. If you keep trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, you could have it all.

This is how I feel about my life right now. Everytime that I think that it will only start to get better from here on out, there is another obstacle in my way, another turn in my tunnel. I feel like every effort that I have made was for nothing. When are my efforts gonna pay off? When are all of my dreams and desires gonna be filled? Am I just wasting my time trying? I'd like to think that I am not wasting my time and that eventually I will reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

ABC's of me

A - Age: 35

B - Bed size: Cal King

C - Chore you hate: yard work

D - Dog's name: uummm yuck!

E - Essential start your day item: Strawberry yogurt...lately it's been orange creme yogurt

F - Favorite color(s): Green

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5' 7

I - Instruments you play: the blackberry...lol

J - Juice Choice - Treetop Apple Juice

K - Kids: Many

L - Living arrangements: again...MANY!

M - Mom's name: Jessie

N - Nicknames: Nesha, NeNe (my mommy only)

O - Overnight hospital stay: Child birth and my apendectomy

P - Pet Peeve: rude behavior, liars, braggers, bad drivers, folks who drive around and around and lot for a parking spot while I'm in the passenger seat or back seat, loud folks, unclean folks, folks that don't watch their children while at events or other folks houses, whiners, complainers...oh just everything...lol

Q - Quote from a movie: "I'll shut up, but when he leave...I be talking again" (Smokey - Friday)

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 2 sisters

T - Time you wake up: 6:00am

U - Underwear: I'll just smile sweetly

V - Vegetable you dislike: cauliflower...is okra a vegetable??? (steam, grill, season it or fry it...I'm not eating it.

W - Workout style: Go Hard or Go Home

X - X-rays you've had: arm, knee, back, catscan, ultrasound, hand, foot everything! (funny I've still never broken a bone)

Y - Yesterday's best moment: hhmmm, toss up between my twin knocking down his 3's when we needed them or this picture that my sister snapped


Z - Zoo favorite: the FOOD!

4/16/09

My Post of the Day "Nubian Epistle"

NUBIAN EPISTLE CREATES SUCH THOUGHT PROVOKING POSTS EACH DAY. I LOVED THIS ONE AND THOUGHT I'D SHARE.

The Cougar




Why god Why!!!! Why in the hell did I get caught up in this IDIOTIC show last night? I'm so embarrassed but great writing material.

So last night I'm taking down my million braids. I started at 9:15 and was still taking them down well into midnight. Along the way I caught up on some tv. The premiere of the COUGAR was one of these shows. If you didn't catch this show the premise is a 40+ chickenhead looking for love. She chooses to only date men who are under 30.

This broke down version of Flavor of Love is even hosted by Miss Cougar herself, Vivica Fox who seems to be throwing FIRE to any man who may or may not be interested in Stacy as well. Poor Vivica... She had the potential to grow into a beautiful older woman but not too much surgery is making her a toss up between John Rivers, Priscilla Presley and Eartha Kitt.

Anyway, back to Stacy who is a mother of 4, lives in Scottsdale Arizona, is Top Producer at her real estate agency and looking for love. The 20 men introduced themselves in various ways but mostly making idiots with overthought song lyrics, jokes, poems etc.

The first man/boy actually looked liked she popped him out herself. Seriously he could have been her son both in looks and age. He was 21. This chickenhead even picked him as the first man to entire the house. Now the final part is what disgusted me the most.

THE KISSOFF- In her sexist voice Vivica says that five men will be going home tonight. If Stacy kisses you on the lips you are in the house. If she gives you her cheek you must leave. UUMMMMM YUCK!!! 20 strangers kissing my lips? I think not! She actually kissed 15 men in front of the other men. The smartest person on the show was the twin. He saw his brother go up first to get his kiss in the house. When it was his turn he said he would prefer a hug and thanks for letting him be on the show and left. I love it!

Vivica continues to call Stacy a cougar the whole show and each man refers to her...IN HER FACE as a Cougar. Talk about low self-esteem...or perhaps BEGGING, AND DOING ANYTHING for your 15 seconds.

4/14/09

Self Reflection

"Consult not your fears by your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations but your unfullfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in but what is still possible for you to do." Pope John Paul XXIII


I'm working on a self reflection post but I'm not ready yet. Later...

Couple of Poems for my soul

Declaration of Strength

My only weakness is myself;
My only dream is to overcome;
My only wish is to fulfill my heart;
My only dare is to succeed;
My only downfall is humanity;
My only comfort is my pain;
My only fear is failure;
My only sin is desire...
My only hope is GOD.

4/10/09

Turn My Swag On

(originally posted on March 26th - but lost in the shuffle)

I woke up this morning to hear "hopped up out of bed...turned my swag" by soldja boy. Why did I know all the lyrics to this song..."took a look in tha mirror said wassup yeeeaaa I'm getting money". this was so funny to me. I thought it was so cute that I knew it but also that it made me feel good.

In a short period of time I'm learning that I've given for a long time. Somewhere along the way, I stopped giving to Nesha. While I've been away resting my head I realize that Nesha has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle. I heard someone say "I got to see Nesha today"...how funny. I didn't realize it until somethings were pointed out to me. So often as women everything is pushed "up" except us. Yes, I occasionally get a pedicure, buy an outfit or get to get away for a few hours. Funny thing is, each time I do this I feel as if I should be somewhere else. Someone should be getting picked up, I should have started dinner, someone must be looking for me. There can't be extra time for this stuff so I must have forgotten something.

You'll have to pardon me while I ramble on here for a bit. Some days I just have to "get it out".

I know that I'm not the Superhero I once wanted to portray myself to be but I'm far from Ms. Wimpy either. I believe in someways I've been playing the latter. All women wear many hats and I have closet full. Problem is that over the years I've not spoken up when I should have. It's still a process. I'm learning.

What do you think of this quote that I found? "The one who loves least controls the relationship". hhhhmmmmm. It made me stop and think. Do you think this is true?

4/9/09

The Craziness that is my life

So I've been out of the loop lately. So much stuff going on and only little eshaN. It's hard to post it all. It's not really that I have writer's block but more so that I just don't know how to TRULY express myself sometimes. This week and last week for that matter has been filled with incredible ups and downs.

Life is changing...I'd love to say Veni Vidi Vici...but I'm simply not there yet. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Someone told me this week that I should be happy with the decisions I've made. If I've made a decision be proud and celebrate it. I'm sure he said it will all the best intentions. Here is the thing. How are you happy with a life changing decision that you know may hurt others you love? Celebrate in the midst of other's pain? Selfish...yes maybe, Hold a grudge when hurt...of course that's me, Often Confused...possibly that too. Rigid, Obstinate and Slow, overthinker...yes yes and YES. One thing I'm not is mean spirited, and I believe that celebrating my happiness in the midst of the pain of my love ones straddles that fence.

I just don't feel it. I AM SATISFIED, happy, settled in my thoughts and decisions but I choose to show it in a different way at this time. There is a time and a place for everything. I do have times when my shoulders relax and my tension lessons. "Happiness...I can help you with that. Peace is something you have to find within yourself".

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." Robert Frost

So in the midst of it all I've had some little ups and downs this week as I was saying before I strayed off. The boys are home on spring break. It felt so WONDERFUL not to get up and drive ANYONE to school this morning. I actually even took a Sominex last night to help me sleep a little harder. It was really nice. The downside is I've been sick this week with a constant migraine and today is the first day I've actually felt pretty good and not felt little tapping mice in my head. My "auntie" decided to come visit me a WHOLE week early too. What freak? Wierd thing is she hung out for about a day in a half and then just disappeared. WHATEVER! The little witch left me in the fetal position for most of last night so I'm glad she took off! Upside - spring cleaning leaves me with a empty closet rid of a bunch of crap I don't need. I plan to do all the boys rooms too. I was shocked to see that much room in my closet but it felt sooo good. I got all my shorts ready but I haven't seen a drop of sun yet. It's been raining for 3 days straight.

Lastly sending out a few prayers to Sandra Cantu's family. After a week the entire town searching her young body was found Monday. What a tragedy. Heaven has a new angel. Blessings to her family.

Also to my dear friend and former co-worker Elva Duclose. Cancer finally took over and she gave up her fight this morning. I love you Elva. You were a true gem. Blessings to all. Live it to the fullest because it is not guaranteed.

Nesh

I Hate Southpark

but if it took them to make Kanye realize the error of his ways then so be it.

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME! Kanye

4/8/09

Love & Sex & Magic

Is it just me? Miss Ci Ci is HOT in this video. I sorta got a little GIRL CRUSH on her after this...makes me add an extra 100 squats to my daily work out fa real! Just a little curious how Justin could ever think that Jennifer Beal is enough woman after participating in this one. Especially that chair scene. I think I got a little hard on myself. hhhhmmmm.

4/1/09

50 Facts about ahseN

50 Things About Me you May or May Not Know
by Nesha W. Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 3:55pm

I'm attempting to write 50 things about myself...not sure if I'll make it but I'm gonna try!

1. Calling a stranger on the phone frightens me more than speaking in front of a huge audience.

2. In High School my track event was high jump and although I can't jump 5'7 anymore I can still Fosbury Flop if called on in a second.

3. I type 74 wpm

4. I have horrible vision and can't see past my outstretch hand...fa real!I prefer eye glasses to contact lenses.I would love to get laser eye surgery to correct my vision, but the thought of having to watch as my eye is operated on has to be one of the freakiest things I’ve ever heard of.


5. I love to win but I hate to see others lose.

6. My parents have been married for 35 years.

7. I take a bath every night.

8. I have cooked every recipe in La Belle's Cusine "Something to Sing About".

9. It makes me nervous to poop in any toilet other than my own.

10. I will drop everything at the mention of rollerskating and I got my untouchable pair in the closet. They are like a "real baller's sneakers" and never see concrete.

11. I can palm a men's basketball

12. I checks my crackberry at 3:30 am almost every night. Almost always 10 spams.

13. I watch Sportcenter at least once a day. I can sit down a watch any game for less than 60 seconds and know who I want to win and will cheer for that team like I've loved them my entire life.

14. I loved Michael Jackson as a kid and used to kiss my posters of him. I would be terrified to have him in my house for 5 minutes today...lol

15. My dad is an Elder (you don't know? Read your bible)

16. I love personality tests, but my personality isn't so great and I have a dry since of humor. I think it's very important to look in the eye of the speaker whoever that may be. I won't say all the time but most times when I'm not looking, I'm not listening.

17. I think I'm a good writer but not a great editor. I can make anything shorter but it's very difficult for me to make something longer.


18. I feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable with small talk, so unless forced to do it, I don’t. I feel like this sometimes causes people to think I’m rude and standoffish.

19. Can listen to a song 3 times and know the lyrics...yes even the rap songs. I can sing along to nearly any song that comes on the radio; whether you want me to or not.

20. Twin A and Twin B are 32 minutes apart....yeah, ya heard me!

21. I eat yogurt EVERY single day. Most days, twice a day.

22. The first book I read by myself was Ramona Quimby, Age 8, at age seven. To this day, I still remember that entire book.

23. I love to cook but hates to clean the kitchen after...loves to sit on the counter and watch and talk and listen to good music and have a cold glass of Sweet Tea while someone else cooks even more.

24. I can remember how I thought and viewed the world when I was a kid. This keeps me sane, and dangerous..lol

25. I take physical, spiritual and emotional comfort from the presence of books and music. I realize this is unnatural, but I don't really care.

26. I take myself to seriously and I am afraid of success.

27. I have an inexplicable proclivity for watching home improvement television shows.

28. It's difficult to make me truly angry, but someone who succeeds would be surprised by how long I can hold a grudge.

29. I am cynical and suspicious by nature.

30. Although I tend to be fairly guarded, I'll likely answer any direct question you ask.

31. I dislike being asked to provide the name of my favorite song, film, book, etc - because I find these things change moment to moment.

32. I hate the idea of being caged in - in actuality or metaphorically.

33. When it comes to technology, I love things that are shiny and new. Gadgets make me very happy.

34. I prefer to be barefoot.

35. When a film based on a book comes out, I feel the need to read the book before watching the movie.

36. I have an overactive imagination.

37. I am the eldest of 3 girls.

38. My brain is my own worst enemy; especially when I'm asleep.

39. When I finally do go to a movie I often enjoy going by myself more than with others.

40. I think most movies seen in the theater should be accompanied by popcorn; and that the popcorn should be freshly popped and drenched in butter and salt.

41. I'm bad with numbers

42. I can't go to a basketball game without nachos with tons of jalepeno's.

43. I love thunderstorms when I'm in the house curled up in front of a fire.

44. I prefer to be continually challenged.

45. I’ve never broken a bone and hope like hell that it stays that way.

46. I am more of a "one-of-the-guys" gal than a "girly-girl."

47. I think people who say "and this is where the magic happens" when showing off their bedrooms lack a great deal of imagination.

48. I'm a morning person

49. I am a fast walker, and have to actually try to walk slower when walking with people so as to not leave them completely behind.

50. I don’t drink coffee and don’t understand why people are slaves to it.

Wow! I can't believe I did it!!!