RIP....Craig Aaron Ward

This year continues...between, the good, the bad and the beautiful God has continued his plan and somethings we just don't understand. Friday my father in law lost his long fight with lung cancer. It was no shock because he was suffering so much in the last few weeks but the shock of losing my mother in law almost two days to the exact day just makes it more painful.  I look at my husband and I realize that he is the strongest man that I've ever known.  If I put himself in my shoes and can literally see myself going slightly insane.  He is a superhero because he has taken blow after blow this year and has refused to break. The power of faith in God continues to amaze me. 

I look at him and I see his moods change and I continue to wonder about his resilience. He smiles, but there is sadness. He is so very happy at times but the two who created him are no longer here. I don't know if anyone is ever truly prepared for that feeling but I'm so very proud of the way he is handling it.  God has made sure to "test" him yet I know he is preparing him for greatness because he continues to bless him with little many rewards along the way. In fact just yesterday, a smile stayed on his face that could not be erased as our son, accepted God to be his Lord and Savior.

Praise God,



Genuine Love

I found this photo of President Obama and Michelle Obama posted cnn this morning. It was taken as the presidential couple took a boat tour of St. Andrews Bay. I instantly saved the photo and set it as my desktop. At first glance, it’s such a simple photo. (And you gotta love the President’s “daddy” watch!)

But upon further inspection, it truly speaks more than a thousand words and each one is the same: Love.

Both of their hands are on the railing, yet look how they reach for each other. Mrs. Obama’s index finger gently rests on top of Pres. Obama’s hand, and his thumb gently squeezes hers. You can almost tell from this shot that they weren’t even looking at each other, but they stay connected at all times. It’s just who they are. If you looked inside President Obama’s DNA, I bet you somewhere it says, “Michelle Robinson’s husband.”

A love like that doesn’t necessarily happen overnight. It takes time and effort to make it look effortless, but the reward is so great. Let’s all take a moment to be reminded of how important love is and how lucky we all are when we happen to find it and stick with it. We are truly blessed, y’all. Truly.

So I lied....

well, not lied...just realized I went through a moment of not feeling something that I actually do. I TRULY am a hopeless romantic. I think if you tell yourself something for so long it will often make it true. I love flowers, hugs, kisses, cuddling...hand holding, eye contact, sweet conversations about love has changed, grown, lasted or begin...dinners, chair pulling out, door opening, hugs from the back and the front but mostly that secretly look from across the room that says..."you gonna get it later".  The smile that no one else gets but me...thank yous...pleases..compliments....and I appreciate yous.

Married Couples Dance

My good friends over at BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com hipped me to this beautiful video of a couples' dance ministry at Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ. I mean, they had me at Babyface, but how lovely to see husbands and wives so publicly expressing their love for and commitment to one another through an art form so meaningful to us.


Indeed, love's the place to be.

Very Sweet...moves my heart


...back again


The summer of 2010 is officially over.

In a few days, I will be entering my fall set of classes on my continued path towards getting my degree before the twins. Aiming in the direction of mastering the art of juvenile probation, I've taken on some extra psychology classes so that I can lean towards some counseling as well. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous. However, as I have been known to say in the past…

“Bring it.”

I'm in pursuit of a GREAT SOMETHING...I call him God.
In regards to this summer, it has been rather interesting, to say the least. As my last posts would dictate, I’ve been working on being a better christian, wife, mother, daughter,student, friend... life has not slowed down. As a matter of fact, I feel like it sped up. So much has taken place since May.

New life for positive Nesha and death of the old negative, sad, unrependent, reporbate, selfish, depressed and just plain sad Nesha.

Love and hate. Gone is hate...only love.

Beginnings and endings. New beginnings for us and the end of un-needed anything else.

Obviously, I want to write about it all. Part of my personal journeys this summer has led to see some things in myself. One of those is the way that I write. I would really like to write about MORE.

So yeah. I guess this post is another re-introduction. Hope ya’ll are ready.


Taking Out the Trash

Growing up I can remember that truck coming down the street. Seems like mom and I always heard it at the same time on Wednesday morning. Trash Day. We forgot again the night before! We had just enough time to collect all bags and cans of garbage and put them on the curb for the truck to take. Many times, we managed to hear the bell with plenty of time to anticipate its arrival and the task was carried out quietly. Other times, it caught us by surprise and we would run wildly through the house trying to get it all together before the garbage truck came by. Occasionally, we could not finish collecting all the trash in time for the truck to take it. When that happened, our garbage would accumulate until it was trash day again. It is very unpleasant to live trying to smash the trash down all week long.

The same thing happens in our own lives. We have all probably collected emotional baggage or trash that we can't get rid of over the years. For example, when someone causes us pain and wounds our heart and it is not repaired, we may begin to harbor bad feelings in corners of our heart. I can tell you that I'm so guilty of this. Or maybe we took the time to do some good for someone at the cost of much effort and even personal sacrifice, and we do not even receive a simple thank you. Other times, we feel pain because someone fails us; maybe they forgot that appointment or a special day, birthday, anniversary. As the years add up and times go by, we accumulate all this pain, despair, discouragement, resentment, envy, anger, rage, disappointment, and thousands of negative feelings that will begin to fill our minds with bitterness and hatred.  I've decided to no longer live my live with unneeded animosity. Let's take out the trash!

The other day I read an article in my newspaper about two people at a traffic light who got so upset with one another because neither one of them wanted to give way to the other. They began to yell at each other stopped all the traffic. They got out of their cars and the fight was on. Blows were thrown. After it reached that point, it didn't take long for them to take out guns, and both shot each other. Both were killed. I have no doubt that both individuals had accumulated a lot of emotional baggage that they had not bothered to throw away, and when they least expected it the baggage overwhelmed and destroyed them. They could no longer bear the weight of all that pain, bitterness, and the troubles of life. They died consumed by their awful bitterness, leaving their families and loved ones in terrible pain, all because they didn't take out their garbage.

How do we get rid of our emotional baggage? My first suggestion is that daily we decide to get rid of it so. Everynight, before bedtime, I've begun to make peace with myself and everyone in my life. Anything that I'm holding ill feelings about, I let go and I feel good when I go to sleep. It is so much easier to take out the trash in small portions than to wait until it is too much for you to carry alone. The sooner we deal with the pain, disappointment, resentment or hatred, the sooner we will recover our peace. Obviously, some events in life will require a longer or slower process to heal. A death, abandonment, disappointment in love, fraud, and betrayal are all circumstances that cause painful and unpredictable emotions. These are emotions that many of us can't handle by ourselves. Regardless it all requires a steady determination to not allow the pain and bitterness to pile up and steal your joy and love of living.
Don't forget to take out the trash


Update and Such

Recently I’ve been more aware of blessings occurring almost daily, than ever before, in my life. And so, when new issues arrive in an attempt to weigh me down, knowing that I have prayed that God continues to find favor with me, and remembering how past issues have been resolved, and when they have been resolved, I still stand tall. And instead of worrying, I'm smiling.

Yes,  it's my smile..open mouth, not me.

Summer is ending and school begins tomorrow for all the kids. I'm nervous about Mr. Cayden entering kindergarten but we'll see how tomorrow goes. Twins begin their junior year and CJ enters 2nd grade.  My teens are now drivers and saving me several trips to their school. I still worry each time they drive away and pout my mouth just a little because I'm worried but I dispatch their angels and ask the good Lord to take care of them.

I finished last quarter with a 4.0 and this summer session has been a bit of a struggle with so many summer activities. It seems like the summer just began and already I'm registering for my fall classes.  I'm a little more proud of myself than I'm willing to admit in public.

Finally, life is good. God is good and my family is good. We've grown so much in the past few months that I still look back and say "wooooowwww", sometimes "whhhhhooooaaaa". Unbreakable.

Love and Hugs


Glowing? Me?

Naw, it's the bronzer...smile. In the last 2 months, it's so funny. I've been told a few times I'm glowing. My friend told me the other day I was radiant and this morning again, that word...glowing. Wow. First thing that comes to mind is the fact that I've been on my knees each morning asking God to "allow your light to shine through me". I'm chuckling to myself right now. I'm happy...so very happy but even more so I have joy in my heart.

Yes, there have been those who have come to try to steal my joy but I'm bound and determined that it's just not happening. In one case I had to even stop one of the little demons cold turkey and say "nope, you ain't messing up my day...see ya".  I've made a promise to God and myself that I will not entertain drama, negativity and ill-intent. It's working. I've had my good days and some hills to climb...I'm making it over.




Just Some Word

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." ~Proverbs 25:11

There are words that have been said that you may not remember or realize, but might have affected people in positive ways for the rest of their life.

There have been negative words as well, but those I choose to forget. I only attach my self to the good ones.

So glad for peace...finally



Live Random

saying no to:
taking life too seriously
staying in the same place for too long
bad ideas
another year with Tmobile's wack service.

saying yes to:
Jesus' Saving Grace
continously learning more about everything
loving and living more and more
great ideas

giddy about:
trusting the process
never stopping pushing this pen
each morning we share

deeply inspired by:
non-profit and grassroots organizations
Real Christians who live their lives as Real Christians
The Bible and all it's teaching me
The Purpose Driven Life
Those who surround us with true love
Authentic Friends

obsessed with:
My reunited love with Jesus
Marvin Sapp's music
re-creating our bodies through this workout regimine
the college plan

in love with:
My God, My God, My God....
Art/Mauscripts/Video Creation/Books

haunted by:
just stuff
why it means... what it means
if it's a sin to be afraid

saved by:
God's unbelievable, inhuman, amazing, beautiful grace and love.