MIA - My little guy

I may be MIA in the new fews weeks. My 3 year old knocked the television down on himself yesterday and broke his femur bone. For those who don't know this is the thigh bone and the biggest bone in the body. He is in lots of pain and will be in a SPICA cast the next few weeks. Lots of work ahead. He is so strong and handling this all so good..so far. I'm a wreck though. ttyl

Proposition 8 - No Opinions Just Thoughts

It's Monday and I have so many things on my mind this morning. I've been going since about 5:30am and I pondered what I'd write about today on my blog. I went back and forth between ideas of household pet peeves, the Santa Barbara fires, the terrible threes that I continue to live through, prop. 8, holiday shoppers, the fact that my neighbor has Christmas lights and a tree up already...I could rant on and on...but I'll save some material for another day.

I think what is most on my mind today is thinking about yesterday and the many protests for Proposition 8 that I've seen going on both in my town and across California.

I am not entirely comfortable with sharing how I feel about Prop. 8 with the entire world at this time but I do have my beliefs on the subject and I know which way I voted. However, I do think that fighting for what you want and "punking" people into how they should vote and contribute are two totally different things. As an African American woman my ancestors and those freedom fighters before us fought for basic human rights and protests and marchs were very important. I do draw the line in 2008 when companys, individuals, and organizations are targeted because "someone" chose to publish how they voted or contributed funds.

Over the last few weeks on the news I've watched these people forced out of business or had their businesses become the site of protests because of this. Is this the "American Way". Had I been a single, poor, black McCainic who voted and donated $20,000 to his campaign I feel it would be my right to choose to share that information. Why else are the ballots secret?

This morning on the news I saw that Leverby's Ice Cream was a protest site this weekend because it was published that they donated thousands of dollars to the Proposition 8 campaign? And What??? If you are going to protest Leverby's ICE CREAM then you might as well find out how contributions were made from every restaurant you eat in, every stitch of clothing you buy, any business you patronize and how each neighbor on all sides of you voted. If gay activists leaders are not in agreeance with this.

So you say, I can read into this and tell how you voted...no not really. I just believe that once the vote is done it's done. I would hope that McCain supporters would not now boycott the nation because Obama won. Just rumors alone would stop me over the years from buying many "anti-black" labels...Tommy Hilfiger, Sweet Tea, Troop, Timberland.

To each his own and I guess the protestors are doing what they feel is right but had my six year old wanted some Leatherby's Ice Cream yesterday there is no way I would have told him no as I explained to him what they were fighting for. I'm not ready for that talk yet.

My Friday Favorites

Just a collection of some of my favorite sayings, people, words, things, bumper stickers, etc - token Nesha











'It is unwise to have your heart in two places at once, because you can't breathe without it in the place that you are, and it can't beat without you in the place that you are suppose to be.'

Under Control

I’ve gotten to know myself a little better. I’m so on top of my game right now. I’m so organized. Dinner is made every night by 5, my house is sparkling, my children are all smiling, my marriage is perfect, every bill is paid, and the world is at my feet. I could not be more perfect. It’s so hard having this S on my chest from day to day. (I’m wiping a bead of sweat off my forehead as we speak. At the end of this day I will have completed every task on my to-do list. I AM Martha Stewart, I AM B. Smith, I am Kimora, Jada, Michelle Obama, Oprah, Vanessa Del Rio and June Cleaver all wrapped into one. I am in CONTROL!

I am... A FAKE!!!

I am absolutely none of these things…in fact as the days roll on I seem to continue to move from that perfect human being I have been trying to be. I am so far from that mark that I wrote about in the first paragraph you might as well start laughing now. I now realize
I’ll never be able to live up to any of those perfect things. There may have been a moment or two in my life where I did feel as though I could conquer the world and still make it home to prepare a gourmet dinner. I know there was definitely a point in time where I believed that I had the power to conquer it all, but now I’m not so sure...in fact, it is not so.

By pretending all these years that I had everything planned in a neat little bow and it was perfect I’ve wasted precious time figuring out how to do it right the first time so I wouldn’t have to wonder if I had actually done it correctly (does that make sense?)I AM the ultimate control freak.

Instead of asking for help, I’ve been secretly going mad…in fact to the point where I AM “mad” and actually have gone on some kind of protest that I truly can’t live up to. Example – I’ve been washing clothes for my boys their entire lives. I don’t agree with kids washing clothes too early. They have their entire lives to wash clothes. Besides, they are simply wasting your money as they attempt to learn. In fact if you notice, the kids who wash their own clothes you can always spot. Their clothes are washed out, too tight, too short and often wrinkled. I’d prefer my boys to actually look like they have a mother at home who is worth a damn (sorry if you don’t agree but it's my blog remember). Last week I decided to “not wash clothes and see what would happen”. Only I couldn’t stomach the results. I saw Jalen washing his white button down mass shirt, along with his green vest, black dress pants and he was actually going to throw his muddy cleats in there too! I took the time to show him how to sort clothes (although I’ve taught him this 4 times) but his theory was, all his other clothes were all washed (thanks mom) and these were the only dirty items left. I threw my hands in the air and walked out of the laundry room only to peek in about 11:00pm, long after he had gone to sleep. I saw that his load hadn’t made it to the dryer even though he needed to be at school at 7:15am. I opened the washer to find, mud and grass all over everything, a dingy white shirt. What’s superwoman to do? Now, had I been MY MOTHER, I would have woken him up with a loud spoon banging on a pot like she did when we fell asleep with a dirty kitchen. I'm a different kind of mother though. Superwoman. I re-washed everything, ironed it, hung it up, put the cleats in his football bag. I finally went to sleep around 3am. When I woke up around 6am Jalen was standing over me in full uniform looking quite handsome and saying “thanks mom”.
Awww, I could have continued my strike but then again I’m too concerned with what the world thinks “his mother let him come out of the house like that” bugs me more than I life lesson that he may or may NOT have learned.
For now, I wonder, will I always need to be in control? Am I really in control? Or do I just fight to control the small things in my life that I can?
Until next time,

disclaimer - this is not a feel bad for me post. please don't email me on tips for how to get my children to wash their own clothes. It's my decision, because I'm quite sure they would be capable of doing it on their own if I pushed the issue. Love you all for your positive thoughts. Nesh

Be Patient

Taking a note from Bishop Noel Jones sermon this Sunday "Be patient if your life feels like it is in shambles. Remember God flipped America UPSIDE DOWN so we could see that we needed CHANGE..."

Reminisce - With a Drink in my hand

I'm just feeling in the zone right now.
Maybe it's the Midori sore I had a minute ago
or the shot of patron I had after that
possibly this double shot in my hand about to go straight down my throat
but TI telling me I can have whatever I like is making me smile...that's a FACT
I'm looking around feeling like I'm
on Cloud 9 or maybe it's just the smoke in the air
and the fact that I still got it cause I see 'em lookin
but I'm so damn picky I don't even know which one I want to look at
man I'm going back o the bar...I better find my girls
That "GREEN LIGHT" Andre3000 verse comes in so hard!!
I'm on my way to the dance floor moving through the crowd
move the hell out my way cause I'm excited and singing LOUD
and after that they play another HIT
that new song by "T'Wayne" is my SHIT!
"Heeeeyyyy!", Whas Hapnin? all you haters get at me!"
I know all the words if you look at my lips utter the words you'll see
for a second I know I thought you all came to the club to see me
perform all these songs like I do in my bedroom except I'm in the club
in these two hundred something dollar shoes, I know I can't go wrong
...not tonight baby so I know after this dance you ain't putting your number
in my hand, I'm only dancing halfway t hrough then moving back to my girl crew.
I'm just smiling at you, no harm in flirting - so you go to yours and I'll home too
but first I'm headed to the closest place servin breakfast food...Nations in Jack London Square...3am pancakes just ain't fair
and as they let me out at my door, I'm saying damn that's what "Ladies Nights" are for.

Disclaimer - Mommies have fun!

So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen - Matt 20:16

I woke up feeling a little different today. I thought I'd feel different than yesterday but I'm still smiling. A little stronger, a little more powerful. I told my son last night "Do you realize what has happened? Do you realize you can now be ANYTHING you want in this world". A received a text that said "Rosa sat so Martin could walk, Martin walked so Barack could run and now Barack ran so we could fly". Our vote does in deed count. Nothing has ever felt more powerful than watching that man stand on a stage in front of the entire world and say "YES WE CAN"...Yes we did. I feel the tears of happiness again approaching. I looked back and Michelle and her face said "hhumpf, I knew it all the time, ya'll just didn't know it...now ya know". I will be forever grateful to Barack Obama for knocking down that door. It even felt good to watch The View yesterday and see Elizabeth Hasselback the "McCainiac" say, "he is our President and I will support him", with all sincerity in her eyes. I feel so damn good right now. I can't stop smiling. Look at what people can do in numbers...not colors....but numbers. O-bama! (la, la, la, la, la....we can change the world) -if you can't catch the tune is my previous post "We are the Ones

Anticipation - O-bama

Sadly Barack Obama's grandmother passed today. I wish she had lived to see the greatness of tomorrow but I myself am comforted in knowing that he left his political trail if only for a day or two to see her and say his goodbyes. I'm sure she is telling the angels all about her wonderful grandson.
I'm so antsy today. I don't know if it's from all the candy corn or the anticipation of what tomorrow brings. I'm smiling as I think about what could possibly happen tomorrow. Mr. King, Mr. X, Mr. Garvey, Mr. Marshall, Mrs. Parks, Ms. Tubman...the list goes on and on...what must you all be thinking. I smile as I write this...the majority of this goal has already been accomplished. I visusal Barack and Michelle embracing tomorrow after a long tired fight. Whoever may be who wins this great race tomorrow has a long tiresome road ahead. I pray it is Barack. I listened this morning as The View had SNL hosts on. How they talked about what characters McCain and Palin where and how they were so fun to make fun of. They said they simply hadn't done much on Barack because quite simply...he just wasn't that funny. Please people don't you know. My man is on a mission. He isn't funny because this man has made sure to make his life textbook so continue sifting through his kindergarten papers, his friendlist, tapping his telephone and waiting for his mistake. Barack you are my hero. I am so proud of all that you stand for. I pray that they Flavor Flavs, Tpains, I love New Yorks etc. will take a break tomorrow and show their true selves. O-bama...you are to be honored.

Love Anyone?

Reggie Love is the personal aide, aka “body man” in political circles to presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama. The morning after the last presidential debate, Senator Barack Obama was fundraising spoke on Reggie Love in front of a group of supporters.

"As some of you know, I have a body guy named Reggie Love, who is very famous because he's young and good looking. You know, cooler than the candidate," he began. "But the reason I'm raising his name is that the other day, somebody said to him, 'Hey Reggie, how are you?' He said: '20 days!' And so, from here on out, any time someone asks Reggie what's going on, it's '17 days!' After two years of campaigning, that is basically our entire perspective."

The shared perspective between Barack and Reggie is the result of an intense two-year campaign which they have experienced like buddies on a long road trip.

Senator Obama likes to say that he lives vicariously through Love. It was Love who introduced Obama to Jay-Z, loading the New York rapper's music on to an iPod which he bought as a birthday present for his boss. And it was Love who introduced Obama and his wife Michelle to dap (fist-bump) that Fox News suggested was a greeting between terrorists. In truth, it was a greeting between Love and the staffers and reporters who were pretending to be as cool as him.

Reggie Love is more than a body man. His official duties are to look after the candidate's personal needs. He carries the candidate's pens, his favorite snacks and drinks, an endless supply of chewing gum, as well as numerous bottles of water. He lines up the podium before the candidate steps out, and adjusts the autocue machines to the correct height, a few inches lower than his own. In reality, there is no official job description for a body man. The personal aide shadows the senator and anticipates everything he needs — and everything he does not need. He is not a bodyguard (security is provided by the Secret Service), but rather the ultimate assistant, rarely more than a body length away from the candidate.

But the official duties don't come close to capturing Reggie's close bond with Obama, who plays a role that is part boss and part big brother. At the start of Obama's day, Reggie is with him in the hotel gym or local YMCA, where they work out together. As the day rolls along, he travels with the nominee in his armored SUV, managing the phone call list and dialing the numbers. At events, he is his personal photographer and stopwatch, alerting the candidate to the need to wrap up his comments and stick to his schedule.

At 6ft 4ins, the 26-year-old Love is a standout presence on the campaign - and not just because of his bald head or his proximity to the candidate. He was a forward for the Duke Blue Devils basketball team, and played on the 2001 team that won the NCAA national championship. Love was suspended from the team in 2004 due to alcohol-related incidents, but returned and was a captain of the 2005 team. “You make mistakes and you learn from them, and you try to use them to make you a better person,” Love said. He also played wide receiver for the Duke football team, and tried out unsuccessfully with the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys football teams.

He graduated in political science and public policy. A year later, he applied for an internship in Congress and landed an interview in Senator Obama's office, rising to the position of deputy political director.

Love remains the best basketball player on Team Obama, and one of a handful of the candidate's regular teammates who can dunk the ball. Back in his hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina, Love is something of a college legend. At a rally there earlier this year, Senator Obama called him on stage and led the crowd in a chant of his name.

With his prominence has come an unusual degree of public attention. People magazine named Love one of America's most eligible bachelors. Vanity Fair listed him as one of its In items. Love was featured in the ESPN documentary show "E-60" for his role on Senator Obama's campaign.

Reggie Love has his sights set on something other than being a body guy. As the campaign winds down, Love is cramming for law school exams. His goal: to return to Duke and emerge with a law degree.