The Blind Bat "Situation"

So for those of you who don't know me I think I truly need to explain myself on this glasses situation. Problem is, I hate them. I hate little ugly spectacles sitting on my face. They annoy me, they are just not cute and above all they make me feel old. Problem number two is that I cannot see a darn thing without them.

While my boys are playing football or basketball I know who they are from their build, the way they stand and move but I can't actually see ANY of their features. I can't read the score clock, I can't see how much time is left, I can't see a friend waving to me across the gym to come sit next to here.

On the road I know where I'm going because usually I've been there a million times but I can't actually see what the name of the streets are called. Problem #3, when I go to a new place I'm so lost that I can't see the number of the house, the street until I actually pass it, or the exit to get off on.

Problem #4. At the gym women thinking of mugging them and men think I'm staring at them. For this reason alone I try not to make many facial expressions at the gym, mall, store and just plain out in public because quite honestly people believe I'm looking at them when I can't even see them.

I've been known to say is that 'Suzie" and the boys laugh and say, no that's "Sally".

I realize it's MY FAULT because I won't wear the glasses but I hate them. Picture this. I put them on right before the game begins and then the minute I go to the snackbar I snatch them off. Problem #5, everyone is going to the snackbar at the same time - halftime-, so they think I'm snubbing them because my eyes are adjusting from taking my glasses back off and I walk right by them.

You know those phoney people who let you walk up on them and you saw them 10 minutes before they saw you and you say "ooooohhh, hey girl, I didn't even see you". Well really, I didn't see you.

At one point it was my dream to be a police officer but my horrible vision put an end to that, last year I almost couldn't renew my driver's license because I refused to tell them I had a eye prescription and I couldn't see the letters. I actually memorized the sign before the start of the test (damn shame huh).

So I hear you - Get lasik. I've already had the test and my vision is so bad that it wouldn't work for me. Wear contacts - my eyes are so sensitive that I can't wear them. I've tried 6 different times now and I walk around all day looking like the Grinch because my eyes don't make enough water to keep them moist and I have bottles of contact wet drops everywhere yet my eyes are still dry.

So I continue to complain and wear my trifocals (good thing is they make them really thin now so they don't look like coke bottles) and I sit here blind and making excuses for not wearing them.
Typical drama queen. To know me is to love me! Check out some of my favorite glasses commercials.

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Hey, Whatcha Talkin Bout!

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, What can I say? NOT A DARN THING. It's none of MY business and none of your's. Tiger don't pay my bills and I don't golf so why do I care about Tiger sleeping with some little chickenhead waitress. If Steve McNair didn't teach you about sleeping with broke waitress I can't help you. Nuff said.

Ron Artest - dude. You trippin. You coulda said you were a head case without telling ALLLLL THE BUSINESS! Dang dude!

Obama? Why you gotta go give them a date we gonna pull out. I see gold diggers hang around a raggedy rich dude for 18 months. You think terrorists don't have 18 months to wait it out. Jeeeezzzz. Keep some secrets to yo' self...PLEASE

Who in the HELL want Allen Iverson on their team? 76ers musta forgot all that ruckus he was making. They'll remember in a minute when he starting shooting everything he touch again and laying out in the floor having a temper tantrums. I'm just shaking my head. Allen needs to follow Latrell Sprewell into the land of disappear. He's quite raggedy now but Philly will learn soon enough.

That's it. I'm done for now. Going to bed. I'm exhausted

Baby It's Cold Outside

Love subjects you to the worse kinds of treatment. It completely bashes you sometimes doesn't it. It is literally a call to submit one's will to that of another. That may mean forgiving an offense quickly. Biting your tongue when misunderstood in order to prevent more hurt. Embracing when you're not ready to. Love never looks out for itself...it is constantly, intentionally self-less. Easier said than done huh?. Oh, it's quite easy to give your last dime when you don't have any issues standing in the way of you and the person in need. It's pretty effortless to give Love in the middle of June, on a gorgeous beach...as you and your love stretch out next to one another; picking out clouds and deciphering their shapes. Sure. But, to me, Love is sometimes the dead of winter. Two embittered people stung by circumstance and hovering together underneath one umbrella...while the harsh cold winds blow and the stinging snow comes down unmercifully. There is a chance for survival, because they are in it together. Chance. There will be times where the other person will slow his/her pace. Or get weary. And will need encouragement and a strong arm to hold them up. Soon, it may be your own feet that drag from the journey in the cold. Can't do this anymore. Love knows that it will die without exercise or freedom of movement. Freedom.

So, in the cold it moves as much as it possibly can...But what if there's only one person?

A solitary soul...out in the cold.

"...if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?"--Ecclesiastes 4:11

What happens to a person that has no other to keep him/her warm? To aid him/her along in the journey? Always possessing the Source/Creator of Love, but having no one to exercise Love to? Or having a body to keep warm, but receiving no warmth themselves in return? How does a heart survive without true empathy, selflessness, and kindness?How long will that soul travel the streets before someone stops to join him/her?

10 More Honest Things About Me

I was pondering -

1. I love that our family's roots are from the south. Wouldn't trade it for any other geographic affiliation in our nation.

2. I can't imagine my life without being a mother. I felt I've been here my entire life. It's hard to remember how life was before them.

3. I love the news and it's been years and years since I started my day without watching it. Whether good or bad I need to watch it and read it each morning.

4. I am surrounded by opportunities to force friendships. And I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of pretending that I have connections with people that I just don't. And that makes me sad....

5. I spend many moments of the day reminding myself that I am okay just the way that I am. I take up too much of my time actively trying to evolve/grow, but it's when I completely let go, that I forget what I lack; unconsciously trusting that it's God that adds to my heart daily.

6. I love writing. (Duh....but. Really. I do.) Even it's I'm just jotting down drama. I know I don't make since sometimes but it just feel so good to write and clear it out.

7. I don't know why Jesus loved me enough to die for me. Or why He still loves me. Or why He promises to love me always. But whatever the answer is...it is, by far, the hope of my life.

8. The more I'm extremely picky about what music I listen to/buy/download, the more gems I find. (I.e. Deemi - Soundtrack of my Life)

9. I'm starting to loathe the whole gift part of Christmas. I don't want a thing this year, I really don't want to buy anyone else anything this year either. Ba humbug

10. I love my momma and daddy. There's no one else I look up to more.

Couple Things

First - We lost the playoffs! We are out and it's on to the round ball season. I thought I'd be more disappointed but I'm not. Maybe if my boys were seniors and that was it but since they are sophmores this football/basketball thing has been killing me skipping all over from practice to practice.

No seriously, I'm sad and saying I'm glad it's over just makes me feel a little better about the whole thing. I'm bummed so I'm trying to take my mind off of it by writing.

2. some of the people i used to talk about now know about the my blog. see, this is what happens when you have blog folk as friends on facebook. worlds start crossing and next thing you know folk just 'happen' to find their way to the blog...kinda like the nosey neighbor who just 'happened' upon the buried corpse of a victim in the backyard of the serial killer she says "always seemed so quiet...never thought he'd be capable of murder although he DID seem a bit strange now that i think about it. I had an acquaintance say I enjoy your blog so much and I had actually talked so terribly about here in one of my rants. the world became smaller and let me know i'm not as anonymous as i thought i was. scary thought. i get the feeling one day someone's gonna read the blog and recognize themselves in a story and it's gonna be like that scene in 'the best man' when taye digg's character got the beat down (not that it would ever happen to me cuz i'm not self-sacrificing like him. i fight dirty.)

3. i am constantly editing in my head. by this i mean, even before the words hit the screen i'm revising it in my mind. i can't just flow anymore. it's like there's a mental detector at the entrance to my mind's eye and all ideas are frisked for imperfections before they're allowed to exit. my creative process is currently existing under military rule and nothing is allowed to leave without all of it's expressions in check. I loved being invisible.

4. This blog stuff is like therapy, seriously, between my blog and my ipod the world remains safe from my craziness.

Little This, Little That

1) I am terribly afraid of failing. Not in the everyday sense of making a mistake, but not becoming the person that i have the potential to become.
2) I am now living in the crazy state of mind right now. Can't explain

3) I am in love with a nice hot bath of bubbles

4) I love massages
5) I hate when there is a whole empty row and someone I don't know comes and sits RIGHT next to me or really close..ugh! Especially the treadmill at the gym
6) too much contemplating

7) I detest people with no common sense!!! No really, i do!!! :-)
8) I'm use to love roller coasters as a kid. Now they terrify me

9) I adore hanging out in the house in my pjs and no shoes

10) I hate catching myself laughing outloud

11) I believe I'm much more complicated than anyone will ever understand.

12) I love to read....looking for my next novel
13) Despise all romance novels....don't hate me people :-)
14) I love new and interesting words....

15) I wish I was more sensitive to other's feelings
16) I REALLY don't like pets

17) I love talk radio

18) I can palm two men's basketballs

19) I hate encountering new situations (new school, new job, new friends, new places)
20) I hate fried okra

21) I love a great smile
22) I hate double standards
23) I absolutely HATE shopping, especially on black Friday
24) I green is my favorite color

25) At my core, i am the same person i was when i was 10:-)...uncontent, serious, curious and nosey
26) I pride myself on being different and slightly peculiar
27) I despise public restrooms and I'll hold it all day to keep from using them.
28)I hate when someone says something funny and people laugh and then they keep saying it.
29) I don't really like other people's small children...I know it's mean

30) I love great sermons

31) simplicity rules
32) I believe the eyes are the windows to the soul!!!
33) I adore music

34) Lover of forensic shows
35) Raisin bran is my favorite

36) I was such an ugly duckling in high school and so skinny that my socks didn't fit my ankles

37) I love to travel
38) I am afraid of cats

39) I'm a product junkie and would love to own a Walgreens or Rite-Aid
40) I would to throw snowballs before actually skiing
41) I enjoy camping...in my bedroom.
42) I am afraid of the dark and that's why I sleep with my tv on

43) Disrespectful and aggressive individuals annoy me
44) I'm way to competitive for my own good.
45) I hate people using my stuff (lotion, soap, tweezers, food).
46) I love a great deal on a nice pair of shoes

47) I don't have any tattoos
48) No piercings except my earholes
49) I HATE being told to do something instead of asked

50) I wish my butt was bigger and my bra size was two sizes up. (Happy 50 items)