Every so often, I fall introspective. I’m sure anyone who knows me would assume that it happens it doesn't happen too ofte but more than let on. I find myself so completely wrapped up in the happenings of the day, the events to come, the people to meet and meet up with, the conversations to be had and a mysterious sudden rush to go even harder that I, without fail, neglect to be mindful of what I'm getting out of it all. It’s rare, during those times, that I do any substantial amount of contemplative thinking – just reactive. Last thing I think to do is deal, would rather do.
I’m so completely inspired and intrigued by the fitness industry. Right now I've been consumed by it. The way the body changes, the diets, the mechanics, the finished product. While these things/concepts are physical & superficial stimulants, it’s actually human service, a commitment to decolonization, people, learning, truth-seeking that’s intrinsically threaded into my very identity. I believe you have to be a be vain to be a part of this.
I almost always find myself, at the tail end of such a stint, when all is quieted, not holding fast to what it is I ought to be working on. I’m talking about the stuff that contributes to bettering myself as a person, uplifting my spirit, securing my future, and most importantly, strengthening my faith.
It almost always lies in that which I pursue in solitude.
1. Begin reading my Bible daily instead of a few times a week, again.
2. Continue my morning talks with the Lord
3. Read (for my own purposes) at least one hour a day.
4. Write (for my own purposes) at least one hour a day.
5. Limit television.
6. Judge less, affirm more.
7. Develop and maintain an constist relationship with my extended family.
8. Work towards more positive thinking daily.
9. Dont sweat the small stuff.
10. Better control the content of my conversations.
Moving on, there are some matters that have been weighing on my mind. Questions to which answers are, I'm sure, controversial. Assertions that may even seem absurd to some but in an effort to not censor my right mind, I'm putting pen to paper to authenticate.
Lord knows I need something to write about. So I have here, the 30 Days of Truth List....a sort of blog challenge.
I picked from the list and decided on one of the topics. - NAME SOMETHING YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF
I think I hate my reluctance to verbally assert myself in situations in which it would be appropriate or that require it most. I have really strong views on most things, and the things I don’t have views on, it’s often because I’m indifferent and that’s fine. I don’t have a need to have an opinion about everything. But often times, I’m in situations where the people in my presence will say some absurd, insensitive, self-indulgent, erroneous stuff and depending upon my “readiness,” I may very well not say anything…maybe give a look. My thoughts are often a different story, though. I’ve simply never been boisterous. And while I realize there’s a definitive difference between boisterous and outright passive, I do worry that a retort (esp. in the manner that I tend to give it) would certainly take me there and have me outside of my character. I don’t worry that it’s not in me to speak up, as I’ve been entirely too much for some people in my recent history. It’s not an all the time thing, nevertheless, it can come off as if I don’t have an opinion and not that I generally care about what the individuals in particular think of me, it’s just good practice to speak up in an effort to not let this characterize my nature in people's understanding of me.