Theme Music

Feeling Stevie Today
A Man Before His Time
Cold Cold World.

You took me riding in your rocket gave me a star
But at a half a mile from heaven you dropped me back
down to this cold, cold world
Ooh you took me riding in your rocket gave me a star
But at a half a mile from heaven you dropped me back
down to this cold, cold world


How I Feel

Sometimes you think you have the answer.
Then you realize you don't.

Just a small dose...or rant

(I'm going to attempt to make this sound not like a rant as much as possible.)

Because I've already cursed this week in one of my blogs I changed this. So you'll get my original blog if you change all the words "mess" to "**ck". Just sayin.

"To err is human..."

You've probably heard that quote quite a few times. Basically, it means that messing up is apart of being alive. Its what we humans do. We mess up from time to time. Some more than others. Many of us try our best not to do so but it's inevitable. The trick is to just contain the size of the mess up and then you can probably at least live with yourself.

Now I don't say this to be a cop out or anything like that. I believe we should all strive for perfection. I mean why not? Sure it doesn't exist and probably has never existed but if your not trying to better yourself then whats the point of living?

With all that in mind I get some what annoyed when I see people judge each other so harshly. During a lecture a friend of my once said, "There are geniuses all around you, be aware." That quote has stuck with me. Its true. There are special people, geniuses, everywhere. And most of them we'll never notice. Why? Because many of need some kind of sponsorship or special co-sign for people to see the light. And until that happens all we see is whatever we deem as imperfection. Why can't we have both? Why can't people mess up and be geniuses? That would be too much like REALITY. That's why when I hear stuff like MLK cheated on his wife, Ghandi was racist against blacks, blah blah blah I'm not phased (anymore). What do we expect from these people? I know we are constantly beat over the head by these companies (which are out to make a dollar) that these people were/are just these superb individuals that shat world peace. But that isn't the truth. They were just people. They woke up and breathed the same air that we do. They just shined in certain areas.

Don't sleep on the geniuses around you.

Some Stuff

An interesting quote that moved me:

It takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.
You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that you'd better know something.
Don't compare yourself to the best others can do,
But to the best you can do.
It's not what happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.
Always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
You control your attitude or it controls you.
It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are,
But you are responsible for who you become.
Even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason,
It's still the wrong thing to do.--Anonymous

What Girl?

i hated this girl, and because of that i berated this girl, degraded this girl, separated myself from this girl and betrayed this girl. i belittled this girl, compromised the principles of this girl, and in turn i depreciated the worth of this girl. i lied to and deceived this girl in part because i disapproved of this girl. i defamed and vilified and slandered this girl. i denounced this girl, criticized, and disparaged this girl all because i blamed this girl, so naturally i replaced this girl. i disgraced the name of this girl. i never once conceded the beauty and strength within this girl. I questioned this girl, never accepted this girl, confused this girl, i abused this girl. i challenged this girl, threatened the sanity of this girl, never celebrated this girl, never respected this girl, not once cared for this girl, instead i corrupted and failed this girl. i never encouraged this girl simply because i never believed the best of this girl. i offended this girl, condemned this girl, turned around and walked away from this girl. i championed against this girl, raised hell for this girl and when she cried out, i ignored this girl.

i fucked over, fucked with and fucked up this girl.

i never trusted this girl in part because i was never invested in this girl. i never acknowledged the internal strife within this girl, never offered anything but pain and false promises perpetuated by ill intentions to this girl, and by extension further diminished the spirit of this girl. i phazed this girl, i crossed the line and played this girl. i never dedicated the time to foster the promise that dwelled within this girl, i instead violated the thoughts of this girl, and proceeded to impregnate them with a kind of disillusioned thinking because i never once dared to explore the uncharted depths of the very essence of this girl. i tainted the image of this girl from the moment i knowingly misrepresented this girl. i controlled this girl, bought and sold this girl, i owned this girl. i could never fathom why god created this girl in a world that never embraced this girl, i wanted to erase this girl. i crippled this girl, intentionally harmed and eventually distorted the perceptions of this girl, this girl ..

written by this girl


What I Feel

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.--Janis Joplin

Diggin Myself

i'm obsessed with beauty products and cute socks, pumas and bracelets
i digg spoken word and i need to write in a journal again instead of blogging so much
i have to have my phone at all times, i'm a text fiend

i value true friendships and i like documentaries
i fancy jazz (hidden beach) and hip hop and soul, my ipod and i are really close
i appreciate wit and i admire strong character

i'm starting to really like my shoulders, i love yogurt and raisin bran and bananas
i smirk when i'm happy, hard to get me to laugh out loud. if you do your special.
i read voluntarily, i love book stores

i'm intrigued by history and all things racial or social in nature
i like a meaningful conversation, but i love feeling loved
i act silly and make jokes and i admit i'm slightly high maintenance
even if i do say so myself. you have to know my personality to understand what I mean
i've been told I think i'm better, not really just like what i like

i get sucked into things i want sometimes, like jeans, food, a perfume
i love to look at people, the eyes are the window to the soul
i talk alot to the people i think are special to me.
i am thinking about a tattoo down my side, i dont like loud noises

finally digging myself.


Phone Talk

For women talking on the phone is more than just an exchange of words. It is actually a declaration, in no uncertain terms, about their importance and value. Though unspoken, there are several questions that go through a woman’s mind when she calls you, or while she’s on the phone with you. Some of the key questions are these:

1. Will he get off the phone with someone else just to talk to me? (Note: This is a cut & dry issue. Either she’s important, or she isn’t. There is no in between.)

2. If he is busy, will he call me back in the time he told me? (Note: If you say you’ll call her back in 5 minutes, that means 5 minutes. This does not mean 10 minutes, or even 6 minutes. If you are late by more than hour?? DO NOT CALL. Show up with flowers, candy or any other peace offering.)

3. Will he rush me off the phone after 5 minutes of talking. (This is critical. You may not think much of it, but it is considered a major insult.)

4. Is he sincerely listening to me, or is it just a means to an end? (Believe me, they can tell the difference.)

5. Will he stay on the phone until the sun rises, simply because he enjoys talking to me so much and hearing the sound of my voice? (Oh, you’re tired?? So what! This simply means that you are willing to make sacrifices for her. She needs to know this.)

6. What do we talk about? Him? Me? or Us? (For her, there should be a balance of about 20% him, 40% me, 40% us. This can vary at different times, but you will not lose using this formula)

Phone calls can be critical to relationship stability. Do not take them lightly. If used correctly, they can become mutually beneficial for both of you. Remember, the purpose of the phone call is to connect with each other. Kindling the embers while you are apart, makes it easier to spark the inferno when you’re together.

Some Stuff

I've been far to serious lately so I decided to blog the next couple of days just on STUFF. You know stuff that you always wanted to say whether single, shacked up, married or divorced. Young or old, gay or straight...dumb or smart. Just Stuff!

Just to start it off right...let's go:

Some of ya'll have the silliest facebook status comments. Some of ya'll tell your bidness too much on facebook. Some of ya'll just like to be seen in the newsreel. Some of you don't realize you and whoever your talking to arent' the only smart (or dumb) people in the world and we all know what you are talking about.

Next Topic:
All of you'll mamas (and I use the term loosely) allowing your baby girls to put red, yellow and even white into their braids....tacky!

Next Topic:
Having your cellphone on loud so that it plays little musically notes and chimes everytime you get a text which is every 2 seconds, IN PUBLIC is so not cute!

Next Topic:
Back to you mamas again. You need to stop giving your daughters their privacy and check their myspace profile and their cellphone cause they need their butts whooped for sending out little naked pics to these boys!

Well....be back soon with more STUFF! Stay tuned!


What I Feel

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.--Dale Carnegie


How I Feel

I know I've been doing these "How I feel" statements lately but it's easier sometimes than expressing the words. Smiling yet?
"...He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."
-1 John 4:4
I am a mere silhouette. A vessel for greatness.


Wow! Good Stuff

Never explain--your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway.--Elbert Hubbard

I'll Admit It - Truth Matters

So I'm a grown woman now. I'm willing to admit a few things I couldn't quite cop to before. Laying quietly in my bed at 3am last night I looked up at the ceiling and said "To thine own self be true"...it's a quote from Shakespear's Hamlet. Did you know that the quote “And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can not then be false to any man.” Unless we can be true to ourselves first, we cannot be true to others.

To thine own self be true…..how profound. How many of us have a hard time being true to ourselves? For me having gave my life to another at the cost of loosing who I am in the process have had a hard time being true to myself. Allowing someone else to define who I am, over years seems to have made em lose the ability to discover and grow inwardly. Often I've had a hard time being able to discern a truth from a lie. I've accepted lies for so long, that finding out what is true takes time. The journey to self-discovery seems forever.

Truth….truth is a word that brings out such negative reactions to many of us. You see truth is really an action word. You cannot accept truth without change. (wow, good stuff huh). Accepting truth about ourselves is difficult. Truth will not set me free if I will allow it to; I realize it is a crucial part of healing. It gives us the freedom to be who we are. I know that truth is what makes a person able to come to terms with weakness (without condemnation) and appreciate strength. Truth gives strength. What a concept. It almost naturally builds healthy boundaries. Truth is open; it is honest even at the risk of being vulnerable again. Truth is light and brings forth life. When we walk in truth, we walk in light and when we walk in light we live a healthy life.

Truth is also love. I read somewhere that the greatest act of love towards another is living a life that is truthful. Because we have been honest with ourselves, we are able to love ourselves with all of our imperfections, knowing that we are in “process” and therefore need not have others approval. This is freedom.

Wouldn't be wonderful if we couldn't be as truthful in life as we are in the blog of our lives. So in an attempt to create just a bit of freedom in my life "today". I'll admit just a little bit.

1. I absolutely hate my smile, hence all my straight face pictures. In order to get a good pic I usually take it at least 4 times.

2. I've had body issues my entire life. I can't imagine having sex with the lights on our in a room that is not dimly lit.

3. I've always wanted a tattoo but I've never seen anything that I wanted on my body for my entire life.

4. I believe that my children are the single most perfect thing I've ever done. I can't imagine not having them in my life.

5. Sometimes its extremely hard to smile through it all.

6. I wish I didn't feel the need to protect everyone from pain.

7. Sometimes I feel complete sadness and it seems impossible to get out of bed.

That's all for now.


What I Feel

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't.--Eleanor Roosevelt


Back To School

Spring semester begins next week. I'm nervous. On a quest to finally finish this degree. I promised myself I would give EVERYTHING this time and let nothing stand in my way. Looked back to why I named this blog...

Perfectly spoken Mr. Mandela. Thank you

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God! Your playing small doesn't' serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.--Nelson Mandela

My Pen is flowing ...

And so it continues..."Stick with me kid and you'll go straight to the top". I heard this recently and I smiled because it was something I needed at the time. Funny how words stick so deeply in my mind. I wonder if blissful and painful words stick with other people the way they do me. I once heard someone tell me "I can do better than you". I made myself a promise. No you can't and I can show you better than I can tell you. Strange how words can be used like weapons to the emotionally weak. They can ultimately change a relationship for the better or worse. Words can make you feel full of love...or saturated of hate.

I once heard someone say that the death of a relationship is like enduring open heart surgery without anesthesia.

(Here is were my writing goes slightly strange). I've been beat up about my blog lately. Simply because I write, what I feel. The personal stuff, as I've said time after time I sometimes have to leave in draft mode. Some other stuff I post. I don't set out to hurt people and more than anything I try to be true to myself. I need to be true to myself more than anything right now or I may just simply die from sadness. Currently all my theories and convictions about love are undergoing great scrutiny, and sometimes I can't tell my heart from my head. On a brighter note, they are finally starting to come to an agreement: Love is a gorgeous mess.

Ultimately, my desire was to keep this out of the blogworld until time created a healthy amount of distance for my heart to heal. However, my words provide me healing. Hopefully, it will give my readers the same benefit.

Love is hard and it requires that trust be there no matter what to insure the most perfect love. That is hard for me. At the same time I believe that love should be transparent to your significant other. A man should make his woman feel like she never has to worry or doubt him. If she is insecure, which happens sometimes he should be willing to make her feel comfortable and lift her up as his Queen.

I am allergic to dysfunction, but I will not run from it. I'll choose, instead, to war with it. I'm not making a lot of sense right now but it my mind it makes perfect sense.


Just Life...

Everything in my life has truly happened for a reason
The answer to that age old question will come in my season
The question of "Why did that have to happen" in regards to the past
And as much as it hurt to look back into that mirror or glass
I must be reminded that someone had to die so that we may live
And someone sometimes has to be without so that I may give
And sometimes life situations must come to an ending
And sometimes the end is really just the beginning
There is a reason to everything that happens in life
Even the upset, heartbreak, headache, and the strife
It is a deep lesson when going through a painful past
But it is even deeper to share with someone how their pain won't last
Sometimes I wonder about the most simplistic of a thing
I wonder about life and what the future may bring
But I know that there is a reason behind everything that has been done
Even when at first I can't think of one


25 Things - Just Some Stuff

1. I love Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (preferably cold or frozen)
2. I'm the oldest of three sisters
3. I like to sing R&B but I'm he only only who likes to hear it. (Sorry, can't sing)
4. When I'm exhausted I talk in my sleep.
5. I have a disgusting nervous tick. It's biting my cuticles. Sometimes even till they bleed. It's gross, I know but I can't stop it.
6. I like standup comedy but it's a competition I play with the comedian. Make me laugh. I refuse to laugh just because he thinks he's funny.
7. Not really a romantic. Meaning, I'm really bad about doing sweet things for others but I love them to be done for me (would that be considered selfish?)
8. I really don't like alcohol. I prefer a quick shot or two just to loosen me up a bit.
9. I like things perfect and if they are not, I'm not the one who did it.
10. I enjoy educating myself by reading books.
11. If I don't know anything about the talking being discussed I have a quirk were I will immediately pull out my blackberry and start researching it as we speak. I hate not knowing.
12. I hate being late and I hate even more being kept waiting.
13. If I had a superpower it would be x-ray vision.
14. I'm a Puma addict and love all things Puma.
15. I love Crustaceans (all things, shrimp, oysters, crab)
16. Every song on my blog has a particular meaning for me. No songs goes on here without thought.
17. I've owned 4 different versions of the blackberry and looking towards my next one. Just can't do the iphone yet.
18. I'm very appeciative of everything I have and don't take anything for granted.
19. It bothers mean when people repeat themselves too much.
20. I have a particular weakness right now for Michael Kors perfume.
21. As I get older jewelry has become less important to me. I can remember as a young adult wearing a ring on every finger and 4 gold chains at a time.
22. I'm anemica and if I go more than a few days without my iron I start looking see-thru.
23. I fall asleep with the tv on every single night. If it goes off for any reason I immediately wake up.
24. I add extra salt to my chips and dip.
25. I have a very short attention span.

Just some Nesha


Self - Actualization Part IV

I've pondered so much lately on if I'm happy or not. What will make me happy. Changes and decisions I should make and if I've lived my life right and above all I've decided that no matter what, I love myself. I am important to me and other people. I was actually on the elipitical when I wrote a few things down. I need to reaffirm these to myself when I'm feeling down.

I realised that no matter what, I do love myself. i love the things that I do for other people, and if I continue to do things to help others then I will feel better about myself.

I realise that I am not a bad person, I am a good friend and family member, and although I have some failed relationships, I am one kick ass woman.

I love myself as I am. I have badass mommy skillz, I am fun to be around, I have many adventures and I am rather witty and intelligent.

I love being me. I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I love it all, faults too. I can't judge myself on how other people feel about me and I need to stop worrying about them.

screw the world, I don't need anyone's approval, I am good enough for myself.

The second half is here.


How I Feel

Thanks Friends

For far too long I've allowed others to control my movements on the chess board. Once again, I fell for the, "you ain't sh**" ookie doke! Sometimes it just ain't about small minded people. It boils down to the fact that this blog is important to me. It saves me thousands of dollars in therapy sessions and I love it. I appreciate the wonderful comments and emails about it as well. My happiness can no longer be concentrated on people who seem to want to hold me down. I refuse to let it. A good friend said that I'm interesting...especially on days when I don't just post up a song. So I guess I need to undraft and come back.

I'll be honest, alot is going on and life is changing. Recently I cut the weeds on facebook but I'd like my blog to remain open. If you choose to believe I'm talking about you then so be it. If you choose to read and enjoy, I love it! I'm really just trying to keep it 100. That's What's Up!

Group Hug


My blog is over

its not longer my own. I've decided to discontinue.
I was told tonight that real writers write in a journal, people who want others to know all their business write blogs. I don't want others to know. It's a wrap!


Relax Boys

Life, it's but a twinkle of an eye.

Amidst heartaches, laughter, joy and pain, the bright rays of sunshine hidden beneath those inevitable dark and cloudy days, we must learn to live our lives to the fullest extent of our mortal existence. So, when life is over, there can be few, if any, regrets.

Whenever I emphasize this, how You Only Live Once, to my sixteen year old sons, Twin A and Twin B. I'm quick to inform them that I am never asking them to go out and do some crazy ish that will make them wish they were dead. Of course not. Such thought-provoking sentiments are spoken in hopes that they completely realize the significance of that small beating sound within their chest.

For once the heartbeat stops, it's over. There is no coming back. At least I have yet to meet a single person who has returned from the grave. And rumors of Tupac still being alive, hardly count.

That said, every now and then I recall my own personal age of innocence, and I find myself wishing I could perhaps enter a time machine and return to that precise moment when life was just a little more complete, a little more fulfilling. The point before emotional scars ripped into one's flesh. I often reminisce upon an instant where, in my heart, everything was young and gold. An age where I didn't realize the world was ... so f*cking cold.

For me, that was my teens. Highschool, having a hard time focusing in class, thinking I was grown with every answer in the world, thinking that nothing even mattered in the world. Back then, I was convinced that my future held everything I said it did.
Hopelessly in love, working at Little Ceasar's Pizza, meeting a new face everyday. A zest for life and Hollywood dreams. I recollect upon the passion of sleeping in Saturday morning and talking on the phone late each night. This was long before we as youth understood the ways of the world, ineligibilty rules killed college dreams, politics had nothing do with school, and We are the World was about Africa, a land far away. Before we came to the realization that guns actually kill, the senseless murders of society, before 9/11 and Katrina and when you could walk your loved one to the airport gate and kiss them goodbye, knowing anyone sentenced to life behind bars or the thought that we may be alive when their actually was a black President.

Before life's struggles, losing pieces of one's heart, betrayal,credit destruction, long cries to hurtful music, and asking God why...

I remember when the skating rink was the bomb event, house parties, the everlasting memories of Hawaii and long late rides to Oakland, the first time I saw a black college stepshow, the first time I smoked a joint(hated it), got drunk(threw up all night),had a guy bring flowers on Easter, my first pair of Guess Jeans, and mix tapes made from the radio ... you name it. In my heart, those were the days.

Hip Hop was young. Jay-Z was whack and Michael Jordan was youthful and had just begun to win championship after championship. In essence, Michael Jackson encouraged us all to remember the time, and TV channels BET and MTV played nothing but music videos. For all Grown Folks, do you remember when, each and everyday, we lived, loved, hardly worried and never lost any sleep whatsoever?

Who would've imagined change would come around, so soon.

So, as I preach to the twins, I remain hopeful that they will hold on, and perhaps embrace this current period in their life of relative innocence, thoughts anew, no children, zero regrets or baggage, and no recollections of having witnessed some ish in life that they wish they'd never seen or never had to live through. Relax and enjoy the ride boys. It goes much to fast.

Just Some Stuff


relax mode naturally
God still hears a sinner's prayer
when a man gives me advice on men
my 2010 mentality: lose some, win some
Real Housewives (all of them)
a dedicated school teacher
when Tupac changed the game
feeling like i ate more than my money's worth at buffet
what Trey Songz and Keyshia Cole do for R&B

Facebookers who update their meal, clothes change and bra size daily.
raggedy Reality Shows
the world is growing colder every winter
when my head is so clouded I can't sleep
so many people slept on this song
hypocrisy of the national anthem
so many people run from the truth like it won't come around again
horoscopes often lie but make you feel good for the moment
The pains of being a woman


Have you Ever...

Felt something so deeply in your soul but you found it impossible to explain it to anyone in the world who could possibly begin to understand? I heard a song today and put it on my blog. The song touched me so that my eyes begin to almost water a bit and before I knew it I realized my eyes were closed and I was listening to every lyric and everybit. I knew the artist didn't realize when they made the song that a little yellow girl would be sitting at her computer in 2010, close her eyes and feel as if the song was made just for me. Wow! The power of music still amazes me.


How I Feel

Hiding inside myself as shadows fall.

I find myself longing for a change these days. It’s a different kind of longing, I think. Longing which really isn’t longing for someone, more so for some "things" to change. You get me? It’s kinda hard to explain. All I know is that I have to sort my heart out on what I really want in my life. I feel like I’m not doing enough--like there are a lot of things that I should be doing that I’m really not doing. What? I don’t even really know what those “things” are. I must admit that I tend to over think stuff, I guess I am caving in to my confused heart mode again--so just breathe my dear heart of mine. God will enlighten and guide us through.

Getting Real

So I've had alot going on lately. Sometimes I'm just really not willing to go there on a blog but it seems so phoney of me to "share" but not really share. Well, I decided I'd give just a small part of my current situation in a it's short version.

If you are a dedicated reader to my blog then you already know that the boys are my world. I adore them and feel that they are truly the best thing that have ever happened to me. "The sun rises and sets on their behind". I thought that I truly had the most perfect teens ever...until this year.

The most recent is the entrance of the GIRLFRIEND. There are so many parts to this story and the drama that I feel like I'm truly being a DRAMA QUEEN about it so I've decided to truly try to chill out a little bit following the advice of a friend. Hopefully soon I'll be able to finally cut the umbilical cord.

So Twin B has his first girlfriend and he is more than smitten. He has the lovebug. You know what the love bug is? You can't eat, sleep, drink, crap, walk, talk or breath without doing something that relates to this person. Lately I only see the top of his head as he wildly text messages away to her every beck and call. I peeked over at him at the game last week (by the way, a tie game, the best I've seen in highschool basketball all year) only to see he had no idea what the score even was, he was gazing loving into the side of her face.

So where do I begin? Do I begin with the so many wrong things about this situation? See below:

His 4.0 has dropped to a 3.0
Her very redneck father doesn't like him
His personality is non-existent lately except if she is around
She asked if he could spend the night over her house for her birthday

Hmmmm, I think I'll chose the last one. First off, what girl asks if her 16 year old boyfriend can spend the night? Next, parents....ummmm do they give a damn? Next, EXCUSE ME, did you forget who your mother is? You actually set your face to ASK me? Lastly, EXCUSE ME, did you forget who your mother is? You actually set your face to ASK me? (yes, i just repeated myself).

So then, we sit down once I realize he's serious and have this lonnnnnnnng drawn out conversation with the many reasons this is so wrong and again, the entire time I'm thinking "why am i having this conversation with my kid?" He's 16 for goodness sake. This is wrong on so many levels.

Nevermind the fact that during the middle of the conversation comes the topic of if I was dating a black girl would we be having this conversation? You just don't like her cause she's white. To my irrate response of 'we probably wouldn't be having this conversation because she would have never asked you to spend the night cause she knows her daddy would KILL YOU for just being under the roof with her in her pajamas. (that's a whole other subject, I'd rather not touch on right now though).

In my opinion it's neither black or white. It really is about the fact that I feel like I've screwed up somewhere when my son thinkis okay to even come and ask me this. Exactly were did I blow it? The rest of the conversation went something like "We are not doing our job as parents ....blah blah blah...it puts you in a situation where you have to decide between right and wrong and further more ....why are we having this conversation"

Really, what happened to can I take my girlfriend to a movie and dinner for her birthday? Can I stop by her house and drop off