Happy Birthday Twins

Dear Twins,

I often marvel at you. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with emotion, the rush of joy when you do something amazing and wonder and responsibilitythat God has placed in making you my child—I fear my heart might burst from love of you. Sometimes when you are sleeping I stare and stare at you. I catch myself doing that even when you aren't sleeping. Every expression that flits across your face, I have memorized. I have sometimes asked God “How can I be deserving of these little boys?”.

 Did you really come out of me? Someone who struggled so much in this life to be a good person. A spoiled brat, a selfish twit, an infant mind that didn't respect motherhood until I actually was one. The moment I first heard you cry—wailing in protest at being plucked from my womb—that moment was the greatest relief and the highest fright I have ever known. And when I held you that first time, I felt I’d always known you. No greater joy have I known than the hugs you give me, even to this day. No greater sense of power than when I calm your worries. No greater sense of accomplishment than watching you grow.
Proud doesn't begin to describe how I feel for you on this day. You've changed my life. There was a time when I couldn't imagine 17 years of caring for you. That was probably when you were born and I was 19. So very long ago. We...you both, have so much further to go but I am overwelmed with joy in what you have become thus far.

So I couldn't leave this so completely serious, I have to save something for your 18th birthday right. In honor of your day, I've prepared a list (you know how I love lists), of things I need to do with you or have happen before you turn 18.

1. I want to see my sons' plan, shop for, prepare, serve and clean up after a meal he serves to

our family (should be easier with two of you)

2.  I want to go on a trip with the boys of at least three days duration, without overlooking their packing and without  forgetting a single thing. (hhmmmm, it would kill me not to check those bags...impossible)

3. I want to kick of this non-profit Diaper Drive with them and have them fully vested and insure that I won't have to do all the work.

4. I want to see them take their little brother's to a day out that includes something like a movie or Chuckie Cheese and not have at least one little brother come back crying saying that the twins were picking on them.

5. I want to see my son take full advantage of every “extra-credit” opportunity offered by his teachers.

6. I want to visit at least three college campus' of their choice.
7. I want to see my sons' take a position at school that includes something other than sports like, student goverment.
8. I'd like to catch them praying to God or reading their bible a time that doesn't include me beginning it or telling them to do it.
9. I want to see them do some random acts of kindness in a way that isn't normally expected of teenage boys.
Anyway, there some other things, I'm sure but I'm caught up in the whole moment of them being 17 tomorrow and so much better than I ever was at their age that my heart is warmed and I"m happy.

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