Funny How that Works

So I had to snap yesterday on the twins and act like a sensitive girl. I got to the football before kickoff and since the Freshman played on Wednesday this week Jalen (moved up to JV) was running around with some little chicken head. The same one I told him means no good and that he should stay away from. She may as well have been glued to his butthole because as he walked she walked a step behind him. He saw me and looked over, threw his hand up in the air (I guess that was suppose to be "Hi Mom") and kept moving. During halftime a friend stopped me at the snackbar to talk and while we were engaged in conversation I saw out of the side of my eye, Jalen walk by again with the little mini-group in tow. What dumb ass girl in 2008 walks behind any boy??? He saw me and we made eye contact and I stopped looking, causing my girlfriend to stop talking to see what I was looking at. "aaawwww, he has a little follower huh girl", I shook my head and went back to my seat. After the game was over I made my way to the gate to wait for Jordan as it WAS a Wednesday night and I was anxious to get home. Jordan walked over grumbling under his breath about something. I never did get that hi mom. Jalen finally decided to join us as his friend went out of the gate. So I walked silently and didn't say much and when I got in the car...I snapped. Yes snapped "Oh, so I bust my ass to get to this game and see you guys and I can't even get a hi mom? I think I deserve better than that. Okay, that's the way you want to treat me, don't walk over and say hello, nothing. Jalen you want to run around with this little scrub bucket, why aren't you down on the field supporting your friends. Jordan, I sat through this game and you can't even come out of the locker


Powerful Beyond Measure Followers

It's funny how many people tell me that they actually follow my blog yet I don't even know that you exist. If you are a follower please please free to subscribe or click on the sidebar of followers to be added. Thanks to all who come and visit. I adore you!

The American Way

The common man is taking a beating! TAKE YOUR TURN! TAKE YOUR TURN!!
This SUCKA ain't gettin up fa sho!
Let's kick him again and let his simple ass KNOW!
How DARE you grow!
How DARE you show initiative!
Start a small business chump! Let's see how much money THAT GET!
Give back ALL that money the government "stimulus" mailed OUT!
WE need that shit BACK for the NEXT big MULTI-BILLION dollar company we HAVE to BAIL OUT!!
Raise the gas prices HIGHER! Then a little more HIGH!
And don't you DARE look at me funny and ask WHY!
Now GO out and be a good citizen and work to pay back them high interest loans for the rest of your DAYS!
THEN die and pass the debt to your children...cause THAT'S the AMERICAN WAY!

I hope times change...
Tired of the same old Nonsense. Let's get out and Vote people! There is still HOPE for this nation to be everything we used to think it was.


We Can Change

I absoluetly feel like crying tears of joy everytime I see this video. I believe we can change. We are changing and Obama is the man to begin to start the process. Can you imagine...Barack Obama has a chance to be the leader of the free world...simply AMAZING! Thanks for sharing daddy...I stole. Oba Ma!


Hey Mommy!

I woke up this morning with some things on my mind but most heavily was my mommy and how much I truly love and miss her every day. I've taken for granted that my mommy would ALWAYS be within reach and now that she has been in Texas over a year I understand that she is no longer there for me to hug, love and show my appreciation for each day. I think back to my childhood and how as a teenager my mother made the decision to have me and give up her life so that I could have each and everything that she didn't have and to give me the absolute best childhood a child could have. Funny for year I said that my mom was unable to see me compete in my basketball games and track meets and I would go out of my way to make sure to be there for my children. When you know better you do better and what I didn't know or rather didn't appreciate when I was making these statements is that my mom was WORKING. Busting her ass so that I could have all those extra things we wanted in life. There wasn't a day that I went without...funny, I remember working as teenager but I would have to be an idiot to believe my chump change paid for those Guess Jeans, Troop Jackets, Reebok Boots, Graduation Invitations, Caps and Gowns, daily lunches, gas in the car, beepers etc. etc etc. My middle name should have been IJUANA as a baby,child,teen,young adult cause "I WANTED IT" it all. While my dad was stationed in Hawaii I can remember my mom getting me a plane ticket to fly me back to California to pick out my prom dress so that no girl on that island would have one the same as mine. Interesting point about this is, I don't remember saying thank you and I damn sure don't remember her cursing me out when I returned to find out my boyfriend had cheated on me with some hooch and I changed my mind and decided not to go at all. She didn't blink and eye but instead told me that I would be wearing it to the next prom. During my unplanned teenage pregnancy, I rarely saw my mother as she busted her ass to make sure that those twins came into this world with nothing short of a Michael Jackson heir. They had double cribs, double strollers, double high chairs, double swings, double EVERYTHING!!! and mom and dad did double duty for sure. I could go on but somethings are better left unsaid, just know that she was truly a lifesaver in so many ways. As an adult my mother just like everyone has her ups and downs, good days and bad but she continues to be an amazing woman of God, the best grandmother (ya-ya) that a child can ask for and truly a blessing to me each and every day. This post could have gone on for days on end with talks of how much I truly love and appreciate her. PS. I miss coming to sleep in your bed in between you and my daddy. Hey Mama! I love you -
click below for my current song dedicated to my mommy!

Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama

If you still have questions, I feel bad for you son, Barack has 99 problems but Colin Powell ain't 1.


Catching up on the boys

and so the first quarter of high school ends for the twins. I smile as I type because both did much better than I expected. I've been on them like white on rice each day "do you have homework?, what's homework? let me see it? what did the teacher say? Did you have all your books?" Sometimes I don't know how they deal with me. Sometimes I don't know how I deal with them. Jordan had his cast removed and is anxiously awaiting getting back out to football practice. He started with some light jogging this week and he swears he is playing next week. Honestly, I doubt it but I'll continue to give him a smile as he talks about his first high school game. Jalen has blossomed in high school. He has a 3.2 gpa, really likes his teachers and even managed to get moved up to the JV team where he is currently starting on both sides of the ball. He has yet to ask for a goof off day yet although who would want a goof off day when you could possibly come back to 6 hours of homework. I'm please with them both, I pray it continues and I anoint their heads with prayer oil after they go to sleep each night :-). PS Jalen still has the same girlfriend...I have no idea how, they go to different schools and haven't seen each other since 8th grade graduation...it's a text relationship..lol

Sometimes Lyrics Express Better Than Written Words

The Weight of the World On His Shoulders....

Dear Family and Friends,

We are at the crossroad of our future. Let us understand the trick of the enemy. We know that lies, slander and deception are part of the political scenario. Let us pray for presidential candidate, Barack Obama to maintain his integrity and character…
What must it feel like?
To carry the hopes and dreams of an entire nation on your shoulders?
As much as I hate to say it, I know beyond a doubt that the next three weeks are going to be nasty. He is leading, and there are people who simply cannot stomach the idea of his beautiful black family living in the White House. There will be smears, all sorts of slander and lies, the likes of which you have probably rarely seen. Therefore, we have to pray for this man, and Please! Make sure you VOTE! Vote early if you can!
Do Not Forget to Pray!
If it is God's Will, we will finally, have the change the world has been waiting for.

Barack Obama.


Blowout a little over the top....

So I'm cruising the rivals.com when I come across an article on Estero High School in Florida. Last week they played Naples High week and lost by 13...not 13 points...13 touchdowns. The final score you ask? 91-0.
The schools aren't far off in size: Estero has about 1,400 high schoolers, Naples roughly 1,700. But the pedigree of the football programs couldn't be more different.

Estero is rebuilding from the lowest level and their coach is in his firt year with teh school. He has inherited a program that had simply crumbled. Naples High is the reigning state Class 3A champion, and a contender to win the title again. Naples has several players committed to Division I schools like Ohio State already and a roster filled with talent at every position. Estero has no college prospects and only about 25 healthy or so players remaining on its roster. Estero's starting free safety is listed as 150 lbs. After viewing the youtube film I beg to differ.

Naples led 70-0 at the half. It was David versus Goliath and David didn't have a stone to throw. The national record books are somewhat incomplete, but a score like 91-0 won't register on the list of all-time defeats. It wasn't even the most lopsided score in the country this weekend, in Ohio, Beechcroft beat Centennial 96-0,taking several knees on plays in the fourth quarter to avoid triple figures.


Is there really a definition of White Priviledge?

So I was contemplating this a few weeks ago and I received this email this morning. I figured I'd post and share and add some thoughts of my own although I found myself struggling with the topic. For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

Here is the email:

What is White Privilege????

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege,
or who are constantly looking for an easy-to-understand example of it,
perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like
Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of
your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge
you, or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as
black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly
typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin'
redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, who likes to "kick ass"
if people mess with you, and who likes to "shoot shit," for fun, and
still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great
son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges
in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out
of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community
college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to
achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as
unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first
place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town
smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state
with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of
Manhattan makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't
all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator
and constitutional law scholar means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words
"under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough
or the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be
immediately disqualified from holding office, since, after all, the
pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't
added until the 1950s; while believing that reading accused criminals
and terrorists their rights is a dangerous and silly idea only supported
by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not
make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member
of an extremist political party that wanted your state to secede from
the union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your
patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse
merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids
on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being

White priv ilege is being able to make fun of community
organizers and the work they do (like among other things, fight for the
right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or
an end to child labor) and people think you're being pithy and tough,
but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and
18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she
took in college, you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't
even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your
running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket
has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give
your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support
your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or
being a typical politician who engages in favoritism , while being black
and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in
Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years
whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry, or who merely
criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an
explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring
Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in
speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on
Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a
good church-going Christian. But if you're black and friends with a
black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department
of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign
policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effects on
black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when
asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for
asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely
refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means
you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW
has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being
black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it, a
"light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could
possible allow someone to become president when they have voted with
George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is
skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and
the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white
voters aren't sure about that whole "change " thing. Ya' know, it's just
too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same,
which is very concrete and certain...

I'm not a racist of anything of the sort...more of a realist and there are definetly concerns that cross my mind...White privilege is a set of advantages and/or immunities that white people benefit from on a daily basis beyond those common to all others. White privilege can exist without white people's conscious knowledge of its presence and it helps to maintain the racial hierarchy in this country.The biggest problem with white privilege is the invisibility it maintains to those who benefit from it most. The inability to recognize that many of the advantages whites hold are a direct result of the disadvantages of other people, contributes to the unwillingness of white people, even those who are not overtly racist, to recognize their part in maintaining and benefiting from its supremacy. It's about thinking that your clothes, manner of speech, and behavior in general, are racially neutral, when, in fact, they are not. It's seeing your image on television daily and knowing that you're being represented. It's people assuming that you lead a constructive life free from crime and off welfare. It's about not having to assume your daily interactions with people may have racial overtones. White privilege is having the freedom and luxury to fight racism one day and ignore it the next. White privilege exists on an individual, cultural, and institutional level.

"Being white means never having to think about it."
-James Baldwin

This post are just some of my thoughts. They are not meant purposely or to cause hurt but ignorance is not knowing...now you know.


So here is my thing. I messed up. My heart has been mine. I was doing just fine. I liked being cold and having my feelings untold. Like a sucka I fell for the okie doke. I let the wall down. I blew it. Humpty dumpty has fallen off the wall, or maybe just humpty's heart and I'm looking down like damn, it's smashed, laying there beating on the ground and I'm just watching it as it beats slower and slower and I'm thinking damn, there ain't enough crunches, sit ups and miles to run to block this shit out.

Damn I hate this feeling, the felling of being somebody's fool, I've saying I let someone in who probably shoulda never been there in the first place and now I'm like yesterday's trash.

My fault and I'm pounding my brain cause I'm saying, damn girl you let it go there. You coulda stopped it at any times but you took 4 steps forward 1 step back, 2 steps forward, 1 step back, coulda turned around but you crossed the line and now it's gone and it's what you thought it was all along...a game...sucka ass girl you ain't no woman...no you just a smile, a distant memory.

you played yourself!

lol@ folks trying to figure out what the hell I'm talking about. I'm just writing don't take it personally.

I Feel like Writing

i feel like writing.........
something prolific, but not too deep
nothing like that depressing nonsence that puts people to sleep
nothing like that pause and stop poetry that people are used to
i want to write something that will use you
that'll use your sences and emotions as weapons on your heart
and make you think about things you've done and loves that have feel apart
make you cry and fill you up with enthusiasm to write yourself
then the rest of the day you can't think of anything else
I want to write something that touches the soul and inner being of the average man
Nothing too over the top so the everyone young and old can understand
stuff that will start revolutions in minds like Brother Malcolm, Obama and Dr. King
Words that fill you up with hope that you can do anything
gotta think of something that is like artistic and exciting
damn...thas too much work for all that...i don't feel like writing

Feeling Creative

My thoughts ramble so I truly need to get back to my writing, it releases me and lets folks not ask me so much, "whatcha thinking about"...damn, I'm just sitting here minding my business in my thoughts...can I just sit without there being something wrong? Just some thoughts I woke up with on this morning.

Have you registered to vote?

time to make our dreams and hopes elope
the government has had us hostages for years and
how it's time for them to LET MY PEOPLE GO!!
let my people GROW
I want to let my people know we don't have to be
broke no more
opened up the schools and they are givin out
grants and loans
low interest rates and after you graduate
guaranteed jobs for you to go
don't matter if you got corn rows or a fro
image is nothing but your THIRST is
everything...just so you know
put your best foot foreword and take a step after
that...don't quit
and another and another and start running like
you want a gold medal for it
I tip my hat to your future success
I set it up...now you finish the rest...


To be young, a mother, lots on my mind...I'm growing older tryin to get my shit together and "still" trying to be fine.
Got the kids in the back of the 'burb and but I'm singing loud, rolling through the parchochial school parking lot beatin out to "I PUT ONNNNNNNN"....the one they hate worst is the new John Legend cause when Andre's lyrics hit I say "OH HE CAN GET IT, ADMIT IT" they cover their faces...damn them...I'm young too fool. Don't be a hater cause your mamma still got it. Dont be mad cause your mama can still drop it.

When approach the entrance to the school and I turn the beat down....whispering the lyrics cause TI made it just for me - "I can have whatever I likeeeee", all stiff in my seat, handing out money and kisses as my car unloads...."Bye Mrs. Ward"....Mrs. Ward...I'm Nesha Dammit! Mrs. Ward is his mama.

I watch them walk in up the sidewalk to the school like they own that b**** and I think, damn I wish I had that swag at 14, had to wait until I grew a little butt and filled up a bra to actually get some courage.

And as I roll down the block bend the corner out of sight of the prissy, missy, noses in the air, I turn my beat right back up as I hit the road, lean in my seat and ride out....yeah yeah yeah "no one on the corner has swagger like me"...that's right dammit!

ps - if you know me...you laugh at this cause you don't see me, just lettin me hair down for a second now back to our scheduled program.