quiz a while back...remember? It labeled me as a Marilyn Monroe type. Wierd thing was it was really on point. Kind of like the palm reader I let play in my hand on Sunday...oh stop with you religious theories already. I see you over there reading your horoscope so get off my palm reader. She was dead on by the way....
Okay, okay back to my "me" theory. It continues to amaze me how I'm starting to know so much about my self and realize that this is just me. Love me or hate me. I've been told I'm a bit of a primadonna. At times I expect people to read my mind but I think I speak very clearly. Its a matter of if you choose to listen...or not.
Lately I've realized I won't settle on certain things be it love, security, my goals and my happiness. I want it ALL. I may have to sacrifice a little to have it and someone may have their feelings hurt along the way but my ultimately goal is to make sure that I've left nothing to chance, laid my cards on the table for anyone who is in my life, that I feel safe and my family is secure and at the end of each night I go to sleep happy at least on most nights. I realize everyday can't be perfect but I also know that I must stop settling for what is perceived happiness.
This week a had a struggle and a knowing friend came to help. They refused to take no for an answer and realized that I'm bullheaded but that I would at the drop of a dime do the same in return even if I hate to ask for help. I had lunch with another friend and she asked what do I perceive as failure and I said that having to ask for help seemed like failure to me. She enlightened me and I love it. She said asking for help is the exact opposite.
My problem is I've been asked for help many times by people who were not trying to help themselves. I don't want to be or even appear to be like them. I know there is a difference but does the world? Another one of my inner struggles....I'll know soon I guess...but I still hate asking