Feliz cumpleaños mi amor - Happy Birthday
I sat down this morning and tried to think of something moving to write so that a reader could truly understand my journey with the twins. How much they have saved my life and how much I adore them. The are no real words to describe how I truly feel. Until today I didn't think 16 was ever coming...meaning, I felt they would be my babies forever.
That's probably why I finally gave into the promise to allow Twin A to get his ears pierced when he was 16. I made the deal at 12. He never forgot. I did. He started reminding me last Wednesday. CRAP! Thank God, I had enough sence to tell him he will never be allowed to get a tattoo as long as he lives in my home.
In all seriousness though, I looked back at some letters I wrote when they were still in my womb and how much I loved them before they even arrived. It's still tickles me to think of myself breaking down crying on the ultrasound table when they told me it was twins. I couldn't imagine how in the world I would ever complete this huge assignment the Lord had chosen for me. Instead I cursed God and asked him why he had done this to me. God is good and he only gave me one busy baby at a time. When one cried the other smiled, when one screamed the other slept, when one swing stopped rocking back and forth the other kept going. When one bottle was empty the other was full. Twin A walked a month before Twin B and Twin B talked 2 months before Twin A uttered a word. It has been like that their entire lives.
How far I've come in raising these two and no matter how many mistakes I make they continue to love me regardless. Our daily talks, or laying on the bed in silence or my loud mouth in the stands at their games make me so happy.
This year I promised myself I would baby them less and allow them to grow up a little and not shelter them so much but it's been a internal fight sometimes. When I see Twin B not working his hardest on the field or court, even though I know he is one of the most talented out there, I no longer want to beat up the coach because he is an "idiot" and doesn't know true talent. I look to my son and say "work harder, no one is going to give you anything you have to take it". I also make sure to reward him when his grades continue to rise because I want him to know that hard work pays off and an athletic scholarship is not the only way to college.
I'm still working on not coddling Twin A so much. He needs his hand held just a bit longer academically but with God's help, my continued push and some more maturity I'm sure he will be as successful in the classroom as he is on the field.
I've often said if you make them into one they are SUPERHUMAN but they are two and each have their own issues, traits, and qualities. No matter the situation they realize if that I love them so much and they love me. Tonight they have planned a dinner...including dates and a movie with friends for their 16th birthday. I guess I should enjoy the chauffering that I'll be doing tonight as next year they'll probably ask if they can use the car.
Twins - Mommy loves you more than you will ever know. Happy 16th. Love Mom.