The Blind Bat "Situation"

So for those of you who don't know me I think I truly need to explain myself on this "glasses situation". Problem is, I hate them. I hate little ugly spectacles sitting on my face. They annoy me. They are just not cute and above all they make me feel old. Problem is, that I cannot see a darn thing without them.

While my boys are playing football or basketball I know who they are from their build, the way they stand and move, but I can't actually see ANY of their features. I can't read the score clock, I can't see how much time is left, I can't see a friend waving to me across the gym to come sit next to her.

While driving, I know where I'm going because usually I've been there a million times but I can't actually see what the name of the streets are. When I go to a new place I'm so lost that I can't see the number of the house, so I stop in front of each house, I can't see the street until I actually pass it, or the exit to get off on.

Next problem. At the gym women think I'm mugging them and men think I'm staring at them. For this reason alone I try not to make many facial expressions at the gym, mall, store and just plain out in public because quite honestly people believe I'm looking at them when I can't even see them.

I've been known to say is that 'Suzie" and the boys laugh and say, no mom, that's "Sally".

I realize it's MY FAULT because I won't wear the glasses but I hate them. Picture this. I put them on right before the game begins and then the minute I go to the snackbar I snatch them off. Next issue, everyone is going to the snackbar at the same time - halftime-, so they think I'm snubbing them because my eyes are adjusting from taking my glasses back off and I walk right by them.

You know those phoney people who let you walk up on them and you know they saw you 10 minutes before you saw them and they say "ooooohhh, hey girl, I didn't even see you". Well really, I didn't see you, so please don't think I'm one of "those" people.

At one point it was my dream to be a police officer but my horrible vision put an end to that dream. Last year I almost couldn't renew my driver's license because I refused to tell them I had a eye prescription and I couldn't see the letters. I actually memorized the sign before the start of the test (darn shame huh).

So I hear you - Get lasik. I've already had the test and my vision is so bad that it wouldn't work for me. Wear contacts - my eyes are so sensitive that I can't wear them. I've tried 6 different times now and I walk around all day looking like the Grinch because my eyes don't make enough water to keep them moist and I have bottles of contact wet drops everywhere yet my eyes are still dry.

So I continue to complain and wear my trifocals (good thing is they make them really thin now so they don't look like coke bottles) and I sit here blind and making excuses for not wearing them. I've resolve to at wear them while driving, but I haven't given up my dream of walking to the snackbar and still looking cute.
Typical Diva. To know me is to love me! Check out some of my favorite glasses commercials.


  1. Guuurl 2 funny!!! I am just as vain as you I thought I was the only one..lol! I take mine off as soon as I stop my car even when it's dark and I've been known for yanking them off when I can slightly see a cutie coming my way..lol. 3wks ago my glasses broke, and I was so broke i couldn't buy another pair soo what did i do...tape em back together but then I got hip and crazy glued them back but I can't fold them which means I have to wear them even more!!!! UGHHHHH..help:)

  2. I hate wearing glasses but I remember the first time I put them on and realized people down the street had faces and trees had individual leaves and were not just green masses.

  3. Girl I am the same way but my issue is that I dont like to be dependent on anything! Whether its pain killers or glasses, I refuse to be one of "those people" that are lost without their glasses. As ling as my eyes can adjust to somewhat normalcy.. I'm straight!