(originally posted on March 26th - but lost in the shuffle)
I woke up this morning to hear "hopped up out of bed...turned my swag" by soldja boy. Why did I know all the lyrics to this song..."took a look in tha mirror said wassup yeeeaaa I'm getting money". this was so funny to me. I thought it was so cute that I knew it but also that it made me feel good.
In a short period of time I'm learning that I've given for a long time. Somewhere along the way, I stopped giving to Nesha. While I've been away resting my head I realize that Nesha has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle. I heard someone say "I got to see Nesha today"...how funny. I didn't realize it until somethings were pointed out to me. So often as women everything is pushed "up" except us. Yes, I occasionally get a pedicure, buy an outfit or get to get away for a few hours. Funny thing is, each time I do this I feel as if I should be somewhere else. Someone should be getting picked up, I should have started dinner, someone must be looking for me. There can't be extra time for this stuff so I must have forgotten something.
You'll have to pardon me while I ramble on here for a bit. Some days I just have to "get it out".
I know that I'm not the Superhero I once wanted to portray myself to be but I'm far from Ms. Wimpy either. I believe in someways I've been playing the latter. All women wear many hats and I have closet full. Problem is that over the years I've not spoken up when I should have. It's still a process. I'm learning.
What do you think of this quote that I found? "The one who loves least controls the relationship". hhhhmmmmm. It made me stop and think. Do you think this is true?