The Craziness that is my life

So I've been out of the loop lately. So much stuff going on and only little eshaN. It's hard to post it all. It's not really that I have writer's block but more so that I just don't know how to TRULY express myself sometimes. This week and last week for that matter has been filled with incredible ups and downs.

Life is changing...I'd love to say Veni Vidi Vici...but I'm simply not there yet. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Someone told me this week that I should be happy with the decisions I've made. If I've made a decision be proud and celebrate it. I'm sure he said it will all the best intentions. Here is the thing. How are you happy with a life changing decision that you know may hurt others you love? Celebrate in the midst of other's pain? Selfish...yes maybe, Hold a grudge when hurt...of course that's me, Often Confused...possibly that too. Rigid, Obstinate and Slow, overthinker...yes yes and YES. One thing I'm not is mean spirited, and I believe that celebrating my happiness in the midst of the pain of my love ones straddles that fence.

I just don't feel it. I AM SATISFIED, happy, settled in my thoughts and decisions but I choose to show it in a different way at this time. There is a time and a place for everything. I do have times when my shoulders relax and my tension lessons. "Happiness...I can help you with that. Peace is something you have to find within yourself".

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." Robert Frost

So in the midst of it all I've had some little ups and downs this week as I was saying before I strayed off. The boys are home on spring break. It felt so WONDERFUL not to get up and drive ANYONE to school this morning. I actually even took a Sominex last night to help me sleep a little harder. It was really nice. The downside is I've been sick this week with a constant migraine and today is the first day I've actually felt pretty good and not felt little tapping mice in my head. My "auntie" decided to come visit me a WHOLE week early too. What freak? Wierd thing is she hung out for about a day in a half and then just disappeared. WHATEVER! The little witch left me in the fetal position for most of last night so I'm glad she took off! Upside - spring cleaning leaves me with a empty closet rid of a bunch of crap I don't need. I plan to do all the boys rooms too. I was shocked to see that much room in my closet but it felt sooo good. I got all my shorts ready but I haven't seen a drop of sun yet. It's been raining for 3 days straight.

Lastly sending out a few prayers to Sandra Cantu's family. After a week the entire town searching her young body was found Monday. What a tragedy. Heaven has a new angel. Blessings to her family.

Also to my dear friend and former co-worker Elva Duclose. Cancer finally took over and she gave up her fight this morning. I love you Elva. You were a true gem. Blessings to all. Live it to the fullest because it is not guaranteed.

Nesh