I woke up this morning to hear "hopped up out of bed...turned my swag" by soldja boy. Why did I know all the lyrics to this song..."took a look in tha mirror said wassup yeeeaaa I'm getting money". this was so funny to me. I thought it was so cute that I knew it but also that it made me feel good.
In a short period of time I'm learning that I've given for a long time. Somewhere along the way, I stopped giving to Nesha. While I've been away resting my head I realize that Nesha has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle. I heard someone say "I got to see Nesha today"...how funny. I didn't realize it until somethings were pointed out to me. So often as women everything is pushed "up" except us. Yes, I occasionally get a pedicure, buy an outfit or get to get away for a few hours. Funny thing is, each time I do this I feel as if I should be somewhere else. Someone should be getting picked up, I should have started dinner, someone must be looking for me. There can't be extra time for this stuff so I must have forgotten something.
You'll have to pardon me while I ramble on here for a bit. Some days I just have to "get it out".
I know that I'm not the Superhero I once wanted to portray myself to be but I'm far from Ms. Wimpy either. I believe in someways I've been playing the latter. All women wear many hats and I have closet full. Problem is that over the years I've not spoken up when I should have. It's still a process. I'm learning.
What do you think of this quote that I found? "The one who loves least controls the relationship". hhhhmmmmm. It made me stop and think. Do you think this is true?
Oh my gosh! I never thought of it that way! That quote is classic!
ReplyDeleteSo I do the same thing. I always feel guilty, like I'm letting someone down when I do things for myself... I have to get better at that!
Hope you're 'walkin wit a lil swagga' today. :) (I'm the whitest girl you know!)
Hugs,
Sarah
Mos def! So true. The one who loves the most is always working overtime to either prove it or make the "other" happy in some way, therefore being powerless because they've lost a sense of self. They no longer exist, but only within the one who loves the least.
ReplyDeleteI know its hard, but we have got to start trying harder to put ourselves first. Besides, if we don't take care of us first, then everyone else in our lives are gonna really get taken care of either.