Just a little freewriting. I was thinking today about annoying things that others do and starting thinking about some of the stuff I hate that I do and plan to work on changing in the next few weeks, months...this year.
1. I hate that I interrupt people or sometimes start talking when they are talking.
(I notice sometimes when someone is saying something I don't allow the pause before I speak back to them or if they pause I sometimes think they are done and overtalk them. I've promised myself to take that extra second to listen and make sure they are done...I really want to work on this cause I've caught myself doing it more recently)
2. I bite my cuticles in stressful times. It's the most disgusting habit. It think it's worse than nailbiting, expecially for a girl. I start and literally cannot stop sometimes until they are bleeding. If there is even a slight piece of skin left I have to get it. If I'm not biting them I will pick at them while they are sitting in my lap if I'm talking to someone who is stressing me out, or pissing me off, making me nervous. Lately I've found I just do it just because. Funny thing is when life is peaceful it often goes away except when I'm nervous. Right now my cuticles are beyond repair. It's so gross I feel like wearing gloves!
3. I'm a picker. If I love you...have to love you or you have to be immediate family cause I can't do this to strangers. (I have a skin thing and can't touch other peoples skin)...okay I'm off track. So I'm a picker. I will pick any pimple I see on my family members. They are hate it! Sometimes I'll just be talking to them and something on their face will catch my attention. When I get the "look" they immediately go "No mom" and go scurring out the room, but that's okay cause I follow. This goes for pimples, blackheads, ingrown hairs, splinters, etc.
4. I curse to much. I know it. Again, it's gotten worse with age. There was a time when I wouldn't say one curse word. Now, it's become out of control. I am completely insane with it lately. The F bomb is dropping left and right. It's so unattractive for a lady. Soooo unattractive to hear a woman say "F** You" or Effin, or Mother Effin. I'm so embarrassed. Okay, I'm gonna stop. I promise.
5. Texting while talking. I'm an addict with that darn red light indicator. If it comes on in the middle of talking to someone I gotta check it. I'm talking to you. I hear you, I'm responding but I can't look up at full attention until I respond...if I feel like it but I must read it. Gotta stop it!
6. Judging. This is the worst of the worst. I am so terrible. Judge not, lest ye be judge. It's in the bible and yet I continue to find myself judging. Not the normal eewww, I don't like her, she's broke, he's ghetto type stuff. This is more like "She's not cute enough or smart enough for my son", "She up there talking about she got diabetes and just fat and eating cookies everytime I see her", "He got a little sugar in his tank, I can tell by the way he walks", "Purple hair is not cute on her". Who am I to judge someone. It's just foul and wrong. She might like Purple hair but that's not my business. She paid for it. My son may see something in the little chickenhead that I don't (see there I go again). Whatever it is, I need to knock it off, because I'm sure people have plenty to say about me. (but idonthinkso) :-)
7. My controlfreakishness. This is OUT OF CONTROL. Have to be in control of everything and everyone is not cute. Complaining after you got mad cause they made you the leader and complained that no one knew what they were doing and now you are made cause you are in control is even worse. Nuff said.
8. My need to have a full plan before making any moves kills me. It holds me back and frustrates me to no end. That's all.
Peace Ya'll gotta go. I have a test tonight.