Some Stuff - Purpose, Me, Dreams and Rambling

Do you ever ponder if you are were you are suppose to be in life. Is this my purpose? Was I put here for this? Was I made for this? I catch myself doing it often. It drives me to insomnia sometimes to wonder if I have my purpose in life. Questions that swirl through ones mind. Am I good enough, do i have enough, have I done enough and I being enough. I know there are some things that will never be accomplished but am I working hard enough towards those things that I can. Do the boys have the best grades, do I work towards my potential, am I a good enough parent, am I going to spend my life allowing feet to often step on me in silence. I know things that will never be; picture perfect Beyonce, a laid back individual who doesn't overthink everything or a high strung person that can curse you out and then resume business. I'll never be any of those but then again, they aren't my goals anyway. Will I ever not care what other's say, or even think, or have the confidence of Ja. Ward. It took me too long to get the common sense and the ability to not settle for things like Jo. Ward. So glad they got it at 14. I know I'm rambling but it's my blog and I can decide to not make sense if I want to. Will I ever stop wondering what the text said that my son just sent out, what they do when I'm not around, is he saying please and thank you. Does he unloosen his belt and let his pants sag when I walk away. Okay, so I've done it again, I've made this blog about them instead of about me, but in all honesty, TRUE HONESTY, I need a journal and not a public blog because somethings are better left unspoken.