So I had this conversation, one that is hard for me in which I tell those I love everything that is going on with my life. I don't have many people I can talk to in this way, most get the chalk talk, the top surface..you know...kids, life, how everyone is doing and I say fine because I know you don't REALLY want to know, its just the right thing to say. Every now and then I get to get it ALL out! I'm thankful for those moments. Probably the most fulfilling is knowing that the receiver is completely listening and understanding. I'm grateful.

This is one of the reasons I began to write. Part of the reason that a lot of writers write is to exercise control. Life can be chaotic, but when you put that pen on paper, you are in control of the words. You craft the beginning, middle and end. You become the Supreme Creator and changing destiny is as simple as hitting “delete.”

It’s easy to forget that we have similar control in our real lives. While we can’t always control what happens to us we can always write our own endings. Ultimately, we determine the arc of our lives. And the story can end one of two ways: the main character prevails or the main character fails.

I have no interest in writing a Shakespearean life for myself.

I so often need to be reminded that I am not a victim or prisoner of my circumstances. I get so caught up in the settings sometimes that I overlook the plot. I know how this story ends. The heroine will prevail.

I’m prone to so many artistic stereotypes. I’m moody. Temperamental. Insecure about my process. Sometimes I have to stop in the middle of the script and ask “Who is this woman? What does she want? How will she get it?”

But if I can hold on to that vision of the ending and trust in my creative ability to write the heroine out of whatever murky waters she may find herself in, then the happy ending will remain intact.The characters and the settings may change. But the ending doesn’t have to.

I will not lose.


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