This post will probably be brief and a little vague. I’m working some stuff out.
I’ve been fighting some things, a little stress this last week. There are some things in my life that have thrown me off of my game a little. I’ve been pissed, confused, melancholy, excited, mystified, felt vulnerable, incapable and again confused. My usual MO is to shut down and go within when I’m feeling out of sorts. I’m hard-headed. I hate advice and I’ve found that venting/complaining/discussing some of the uncomfortable circumstances of your life often leads to hearing views and opinions. Being the hardheaded capricorn that I am, I know what I need to do but my head and heart want to fight it. If I have yet to make a firm decision about my direction, new insight rarely helps.
I have the kind of mind that rarely forgets and so “not caring what people say” is easier said that done. It’s a gift that I believe I was given to accompany my gift of writing. It’s my purpose to record and recount. It’s easier to do that with a sharp, clear memory. The curse side of this is that it makes moving on particularly difficult. Hard to stay in the present when the past is in HD right in the front of your mind.
I’m still fighting battles in conversations I had months, weeks, days ago.
Memo to self: Leave it alone