7/9/08

To Love or Not to Love

I've been contemplating lately about folks in my life. I adore my friends and family but it pains me when I see that my loved ones being treated badly by others. Everyone has that friend. That friend that no matter how many girl talks you have it doesn't seem that their circumstances will ever change. In most situations its a significant other that is not treating them right. I remember having many of these including myself at one time or another in my life. As the years have gone by I'm so happy that many of my girlfriends don't have this discussion as much anymore. Granted we fuss about our men and their quirks, habits, misgivings, it's just what we do. Then their is the "friend/family" who will NEVER learn. She can talk until she's blue in the face, or rather, your blue in the face and she's just talking. She's like an old dog laying on a rusty nail. The nail just doesn't hurt bad enough yet so it's just laying their howling but not moving. I think we all have one of those friends. One of those friends who just doesn't believe that she deserves more in life. She has the man that everyone hates to see coming. It's not enough that her girlfriends and family members don't like her man and they feel she deserves more because SHE doesn't feel that she deserves more. My problem is this. It's hard for me to keep my big mouth closed and simply bite my tongue. I've always wanted to be one of those people who can give loving comforting words without judging. That's so hard for me though. We are supposed to respect our friends' relationships and their decision to stay in it even if the guy is a complete jackass. Which I'm not sure I agree with. Put I continue to pray for guidance and for God to put me in a frame of mind not to judge. As for why can she see it? Because love blind, deaf, and dumb. Who knows what it will take for the little lightbulb to go *ding* over her head. Probably an act of God. Sometimes people, even smart people, will stay with someone because at least they are with somebody. Some can't stand to be alone, and it's a damn shame because my friend's significant is a tool that makes me want to poke my eyes out with sticks. Not really. As I said before I think the problem that makes me want to question their relationship so much is that I know that she is a beautiful woman inside and out and I'd love for her to have a mate that is her equal. I know this is considered NOSEY. I KNOW IT and I can't help it. Maybe I wouldn't care if I didn't love her. I'm told if she loves him there is nothing I can do but except him. Why should she break up with him because I don't like him. Truly who am I? Because he wouldn't be good enough for me he isn't good enough for her? Who says? Me? This is the busy body game I play in my head when I've been up for too many hours.

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