I was blessed many years ago with a gift from GOD and that is these precious boys. These little guys makes my heart melt. I used to think that people just said their kids make them stronger just because it sounds good, but it's so true. Because of your kids, you develop strength that you never thought you had. I've been tested in so many ways since I was pregnant and the day I gave birth. When I say I've been tested, I mean I literally have been tested, especially my faith. Yes, I had children out of wedlock; not very smart, but it happens. And when that happens, you get the drama that goes with it because you didn't follow GODs word.
I finally accepted the fact that when I have to deal with things I'm going through now, it’s because I didn't listen to GOD. Satan has tried to do his very best to ruin me. He knew that after having a baby, a woman is very emotional, tired and has all types of feelings and need nothing but peace. Satan said "I'm going to get her when she is at her lowest" and he did. He tried to bring me down; he tried to break the bond with loved ones. He tried to tell me I will burn in hell. He threatened me and told me that he will make sure I burn in hell and even tried to curse my family. Satan really had me worried and concerned to the point where I was on edge. He even questioned my love for my own son. I finally had to put my faith in GOD and pray CONSTANTLY. I had to anoint my house. I had to cry so many times on my knees. During this time, I was told that I was using GOD to get what I wanted. I mean the devil really tried to turn me off my game. Satan put people in my life only have them flip on me because he knew that they would help him. It was all planned BUT because my bond with the Lord is tighter than what people really think and know, I survived the attacks and I am able to bond with my children everyday and I'm happy.
When you have GOD in your life, nobody can break that bond. So I won't let ANYONE break my bond with my children, NOBODY!!! You know the one thing I'm learning now is that those who you think aren't religious, are probably more spiritual than you are and the ones that claim they are spiritual aren't as spiritual as you may think. You don't have to prove yourself worthy to man. I now understand Matthew 6:6 in the bible. I prayed to myself so many times, even as a teenager. I've never been one to shout and scream and mention my beliefs in every conversation I engage in just to let folks know I'm a Christian. GOD saw that I prayed to him and only to please him and not those around me or to church members. Therefore, GOD rewarded me and is still rewarding me. Some people don't realize that not only can GOD use you but Satan can too IF you allow it. Satan will use any and everything to steer you off in the wrong path until you're dead. He wants you dead because he hates you. He hates you so much that he can't even look at you. He has to use others or his sneaky ways to throw you off. He will confuse the hell out of you and make you think you're crazy. He wishes bad things will happen to you. I will tell you this, I am still going through things now, but I want to save those who may feel like I felt. NEVER lose your faith in Christ. As much as I wanted to and let the devil win, I didn't lose my faith. I believed that GOD would deliver me and he did. Keep praying, stay loving, never change, no matter how hard times may get!!! You will be rewarded for your good works. Trust me, I know!!