All I have in this world is my balls and my word! Ok scratch the “balls” I don’t have those! But who would want em anyway. They’re wrinkled, sweaty, and don’t serve much purpose ESPECIALLY if they hang lower than Mr. Winky. Wait, what was I taking about again? My word! Oh yes, my word! I was examining the history of my word when I realized: I AM A TOTAL FLAKE and SUPREME PROCRASTINATOR!!! I’m sure the people close to me already figured this out, but after 30+ years being me it just hit me today. And I’m talking like a swift Ike Turner punch to the face. I do believe there is nothing worse than a coked out punch from Ike!
Now before you turn your nose up (like your butt is perfect) let me explain. I often make plans and I really do intend on attending but I get tired easily, especially after a long day of errands, work, kid activities and training. So I don’t show up, but I do call and let them know I’m not coming. Sometimes I get a non-response other times I get a non-invite for 6 months. As far as the procrastination goes, I want to do a lot but I don’t have the time. Granted my attention span is shorter than Emmanuel Lewis in ballet flats, I"m working on it.
Is there some kind of rehab that I can check myself into! I can’t die from flakiness and bull-crapinness (let’s pretend this is a word). I’m real sad about today’s self discovery. BUT HEARETH ME YE: on this day I declareth to NOT flaketh thou friends and Procrastinateth against thou self!!! Wish me luck, Lord knows I have a feeling I am going to flake out on this…….