Some people have WTF moments. Me? I more frequently have “Wait!What did they say?!” moments. Times when I’m only half-paying attention to what’s going on around me, then suddenly pick up on a small piece of something that sounds funny, interesting, or just flat out foolish. I will be randomly documenting my Wait! What did they say?! moments on this blog. You know, to give you folks something to read when I’m not in personal crisis and whatnot.
One of my favorite ways to pass the time when I’m at home is to download and Youtube 90s R&B tracks. Aside from 90s R&B being one of my two favorite music genres, it’s just flat out fun to re-evaluate some of the lyrics to these songs from an adult perspective. I often discover that I either a) had no business listening to and singing some of this stuff or b) didn’t realize how ridiculous some of the lyrics were until I had the wisdom and experience to match them.
Last night was a case of the latter.
After downloading Blackstreet’s “Another Level” album, I wanted to hear the remix of “I Can’t Get You Out of My Mind,” which was featured on the soundtrack to Hav Plenty (a horrible, yet incredible dope indie film from the late 90s). I recalled that I loved the song when it was originally released and couldn’t wait to hear it again so I fired up YouTube in search of the video.
I cranked up and I sang along, I found myself thinking “Wait! What did he say?!” as soon as I hit the second verse.
Baby girl/What can I do/I told you once before, yo’ girl playa hatin’ on you/She played me close/one too many times/I had to put it on her/she was so damn fine
Um. Excuse me sir. Did you just bang your girl’s best friend? And your only defense is that she was so fine and willing that you just couldn’t resist? What?!
Oh, but it gets better folks. Much better.
Well what about the girl in the 64/She didn’t mean a damn thing to me, babe/She needed a ride from the gym/and being the man that I am/I said ‘you can.”/And what about the girl in the drop top/with the lollipop/at the light by the bus stop/You must’ve been fooled into thinkin the kid would slack/but I did my thang and now I want my baby back
So now, you’re picking up random women in random cars? And your woman was crazy to think that you didn’t have a Grade A pimp game. But that’s all out of your system and you want her back. Oh. Ok.
What’s bad is that even though the lyrics of this song are straight foolery, it STILL jams. I found myself playing it back at least five or six times before I was tired of it. Damn you Teddy Riley for your hypnotic production and proper use of that vocoder.
And um speaking of Teddy Riley… what was with folks sitting in empty bathtubs in videos for sad love songs? When I was younger, I assumed this was normal behavior. At 27, I’ve been through a good amount of breakups and can’t recall any desire to sit in an empty bathtub in my sorrow. Or do you only get this urge if you play guitar? Any guitar players reading this? Please advise.
That’s it for today’s installment of Wait! What did he say?!