2/24/09

Too Sad - Chrianna Continues



"She want that lovey dovey (lovey dovey)
Fist fist (FIST FIST)
In my mind, I fantasize ‘bout hittin’ thissssss B”



I've finally decided to post on this after a few weeks have past.

So apparently this dude...my previous little "pedo" crush... Chris Brown lost his natural mind, got out of pocket, and beat the “Disturbia” out of Rhianna.I can’t say I'm surprised by ANYTHING these celebrities do after watching that whole Brittani breakdown drama not to mention 500 cars following Paris Hilton to jail, but I’m on my Joey Lawrence “Whoa!” shit right now.. talk about a PR nightmare, black people ain’t been this pissed since the McRib got discontinued, since the public backlash of Eric Benet passing up on coming home to Halle Berry every night in order to satisfy his insatiable thirst for punanny... Was it worth it? I think not! I actually smirked a little when I heard a C. Brown song on the radio this morning.

Seriously though, it’s never cool to play pastor and lay hands on a woman.. well, unless she loses her natural mind and hits you first.. then you do to things. First -Run, cause if the police get there first, you going to jail even if she hit your first and then Second - return the favor by hiring Sheniqua around the way to "tap that azz" and run.. what she gon’ tell the cops? Okay Okay, I"m being serious. Now you know why I don't let me kids read my blog. On the real, I wish Rhianna the best of luck... For Chris, he's young and has a VERY LONG road of loneliness ahead...ask Kriss Kross, Another Bad Creation and Tevin Campbell and they didn't even hit anybody!

2/23/09

...iWrite...in the beginning


I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

Margaret Mitchell


So Thursday night I was asked to truly get REAL with myself. Sometimes during a discussion when you are forced to reveal something you've been trying to keep to yourself you just get tired of fighting. I don't mean in terms of fists, shouting, knock down drag out. I mean in terms of fighting with yourself and to try and live up to something you know is impossible. I say you...meaning me. I'm dealing with it now. I have miles to go before I sleep. It's a day to day thing. To my fellow bloggers...how many blogs to you have in draft mode? Blogs that you know you would never post unless no one TRULY knew who you were? hhhhhmmmm

My mood is optimistic, my story is to be continued...

2/22/09

My Other Man...


The twins and I went to the gym yesterday. They decided to get in a few rounds of basketball while I got my workout on. Now, one twin...That would be Twin B, he'll be a great boyfriend to some little chickenhead one day. He believes that a woman has her own mind. He's too busy worry about the many goals he has to accomplish. I often times have to remind him to "snap out of it" and pay attention to his surroundings. By his surroundings I mean his little brothers, his mother, turning the lights off in the house and not allowing the door to shut on the family coming into the store behind us. He's coming along. I've noticed lately he makes sure all the doors are locked before we leave the house. He gets behind the basket at the grocery store without being asked and he comes to check on me and see if I need anything before he leaves to school on days I don't drive. This is the same twin who cleans the kitchen every night and cooks for the boys when I'm not home. I say he'll be a good boyfriend because all you really have to do is tell him what he needs to fix and he does it. "come on baby, you know you gotta help around here a little more". Twin A on the other hand, he's "My other Man". By my other man I mean, he truly believes that if his father is not around he is in charge of my well being. He has made it his mission since he was very small boy. Before I allowed him to pump gas he would get out of the car and stand guard while I pumped. He scrutinizes my clothing before I leave out of the house (although I ignore him and keep it moving), and he often even holds my hand in the store. Fast forward to today at the gym. The gym I go to EVERYDAY and know most of the faces there. The gym is surrounded by mirrors so as I'm working out I continue to catch little glimpses of him sticking his head out of the basketball court to see if I'm okay. One time he walked all the way over to say "you okay?" following some annoying guy hanging around the machine waiting for me to get done. When I finally disappeared into the sauna, 10 minutes later he was there sticking his head in, "hey mom, you ready to go?".

It's not to an extreme at all the way I've seen some sons' become their mother's man and feel the need to take on every battle as if they were the MAN of the house. He is simply checking on his mother making sure that she is okay. I love that! When it gets to much I'll "check" him for sure.

2/19/09

Sportsmanship Amongst Grief


I found a great story today on my sports forum. It's playoff season and everyone is waiting for the brackets to come out but in Illinois some character has risen amongst competition. A Delkalb Ill. basketball had traveled over two hours to make it to their basketball game only to arrive and still have to wait an hour to play. Most of the opposing team where at the hospital with their teammate.

During his college ACT exam Johntel Franklin's mother had taken a turn for the worst at the hospital. She was hemmorraging as a result of her 5 year fight with cervical cancer. This time she lost. Her son and several of his teammates were at the hospital late that afternoon when the decision was made to turn off the life-support system. Carlitha Franklin was just 39. He was very distraught and it happened so suddenly he didn't have time to grieve.

His coach was going to cancel the game, but Franklin told him he wanted the team to play. And play they did, even though the game started late and Milwaukee Madison dressed only eight players. During the second quarter Johntel Franklin arrived at the game. He came there directly from the hospital to root his teammates on.
The Knights had possession, so his coach called a time out. His players went over and hugged their grieving teammate. Fans came out of the stands to do the same. He told his coach that he wanted to play.

There was just one problem. Since Franklin wasn't on the pre-game roster, putting him in meant drawing a technical foul that would give DeKalb two free throws.

Though it was a tight game, and the coach was willing to give up the two points. It was more important to help his senior guard and co-captain deal with his grief by playing.

Over on the other bench, though, the team wasn't so willing to take them. The opposing coach told the referees to forget the technical and just let Franklin play. The refs told them, "no, that's the rule. You have to take them."

That's when Rohlman asked for volunteers, and McNeal's hand went up.

He went alone to the free throw line, dribbled the ball a couple of times, and looked at the rim.

His first attempt went about two feet, bouncing a couple of times as it rolled toward the end line. The second barely left his hand.

It didn't take long for the Milwaukee players to figure out what was going on.

They stood and turned toward the DeKalb bench and started applauding the gesture of sportsmanship. Soon, so did everybody in the stands.

"I did it for the guy who lost his mom," McNeal told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "It was the right thing to do."



Franklin would go on to score 10 points, and Milwaukee Madison broke open the game in the second half to win 62-47. Afterward, the teams went out for pizza, two players from each team sharing each pie. Carlitha Franklin's funeral was last Friday, and the school turned out for her and her son. Cheerleaders came in uniform, and everyone from the principal and teachers to Johntel's classmates were there.

"We have a losing record but there's life lessons going on, good ones."

None so good, though, as the moment a team and a player decided there were more important things than winning and having good stats.

Yes, DeKalb would go home with a loss. But it was a trip they'll never forget.

"This is something our kids will hold for a lifetime," Rohlman said. "They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they'll remember what happened in that gym that night."

Self-Actualization

So Thursday night I was asked to truly get REAL with myself. Sometimes during a discussion when you are forced to reveal something you've been trying to keep to yourself you just get tired of fighting. I don't mean in terms of fists, shouting, knock down drag out. I mean in terms of fighting with yourself and to try and live up to something you know is impossible. I say you...meaning me. I'm dealing with it now. I have miles to go before I sleep. It's a day to day thing. To my fellow bloggers...how many blogs to you have in draft mode? Blogs that you know you would never post unless no one TRULY knew who you were? hhhhhmmmm

My mood is optimistic, my story is to be continued...

Thanks Sam_I_AM




While reading Sam's blog I found a great new site called Mama's Losing It. She provides weekly writing assignments. I love this!!!

Each week she provides a writing assignment prompt. I love it because it definetly gets my brain going when I'm having one of those "farts". This week's prompt:

The Prompts:

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why.

I am not an American Idol fan. I watched it the first season and was so upset when Tamyra Gray was kicked off (she was truly the best) that I just haven't been interested since. I've peeked at it now and then from time to time when Ruben, Kelly, Fantasia and Jennifer were in the top but never on a constant basis. If I was forced to sing a song I think I would sing "Mary had a little lamb"...Hope this tells you how good I can sing. I would absolutely have a heart attack if I had to sing anything in a public forum. This includes Happy Birthday and the Star Spangled Banner. I always mouth the words.

2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.

I'm passin on this pic for now. I actually did just wash my hair this morning so nothing to see here folks. Keep it moving.



3.) What do you think about the NBA All Star game
I haven't made it to an NBA Allstar game yet although it is one thing I would absolutely love to do before I get to up in age and can't be cute sitting in the stands, especially if Kobe and Ray are still playing. I attended some events when it was in Oakland and was just in the atmosphere but nothing compares to actually being there live in color.

4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act.

My number one pet peeve is people who don't use their blinkers. I can't stand it. Why do you feel you are so important that you can just hop over when ever that hell you feel like it? oooohhhh, you didn't see me behind you? Whateva! I'd love to have a probe come out of my tire wheel that popped the tire of anyone who cut me off. Is that mean? No, I don't think so.

5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.
I was a VERY mean older sister. Still am when I need to put the smack down. I'm not sure what is the meanest. I've looked them in closets, poured fish tank water down ears while they were sleeping, I even hit one sister in the back with the phone receiver when she tried to run from me. Putting on scarey masks and robes and chasing them through the house. Sneaking out the house to go knock on their window at bedtime. Probably the worst is one I'm only willing to admit now and that is giving my sister ex-lax chocolate. Hopefully she won't read today.

2/18/09

Treats for Me?

Often times as mothers we tend to forgot to give treats to one of the people that matter the most in our lifes. Ourselves. Tonight I looked at my Sweet Honey Dip Chocolate Sugar scrub that arrived today and thought to myself that it was the first little "gift" I'd treated myself to in a while. Is it still a treat if I won it. This weekend after one of my favorite gifts was destroyed I had a mini-breakdown. I'm of course pmsing just a little I can tell because I cried this after doing the laundry and realizing that one of my sons' had left a pin in his pocket. Being the sickling I've been for the last week, I didn't catch it. In the washing machine was my VERY FAVORITE sweatsuit. It's one of those fitted velour sweatsuits that you can throw on day or night and look like you've got it all together. Ponytail or Flat Iron, pumas or pumps, you are dressed up or down in it. I've loved it from the day I got it. So now you understand why I broke down when I pulled it out of the washer and saw my beautiful sky blue Jo-Lo tracksuit with huge blue pin stains all over it. I'm sad just typing about it. I thought about going out and buying another one if I could possibly find it 2 years later but then I thought about the many things that are needed by the boys in the next few weeks. So many things from next year's registration fees, next month's tuition to next quarter's books. Their shoes they received for Christmas are just beginning to look a little worn. Summer is approaching and it will be time for shorts soon, birthdays are approaching and basketball just ended and I'm already receiving emails about banquet costs that include gifts for coaches. Funny how there is ALWAYS something. Treats...for me??? I think not. Mothers seem to enjoy the oddest things though don't we? A spa pedicure for $35 sounds heavenly. If you are anything like me you start thinking ..."$35 dollars? that's a pair of Vans" In the next few weeks my treat is coming though. Its a rather large one and I plan to purchase it next week in the form of a ticket to visit my family in Texas. That is more than enough for me. I think it will last me all year long. If I know my mommy she is already planning our week of events. I giggle to myself each time I think about it so I know it's the only thing I need right now. Well that and the occasional hot bubble bath. I'm counting down the days.

2/17/09

5 Of My Greats

(pic - Nesha age 21 / Twin A and B 18 months)

As 2009 begins and I'm now beginning to hit my mid-30's in stride,I've had some bumps in the road along with many successes and I believe that I'm a pretty well rounded person. I began to think this evening about the many people who have had a great influence in my life the past years. I've been many places and met a lot of people. I've picked up something from most everyone be it good or bad. My family above all has shaped who I am but there have been some others people who have taught me invaluable lessons that I will take with me forever. In no particular order I give you my 5 most influential non-family members:

1. S. Diane Adamz-Bogus (aka Dr. Bogus) - Dr. Bogus was my English Professor at De Anza College. I've always loved English. It wasn't hard to enjoy this class but she took it to another level. She taught English while also teaching her class about the 7 major Chakras. Although my father, the pastor would be quite dismayed at my being in touch with the new age, I was at peace through the use of chakras while my life was in chaos. I was a new, 20 year old unmarried mother of twins trying to attend school with no money, a car that picked the days it wanted to run and everything in my life falling apart. In Dr. Bogus's class none of that mattered. She was able to teach English in a whole new way and look at you as if she truly knew you. She was able to walk by and touch your shoulder before class started and say "let that go, breath deep, center yourself and let's get to work" I earned at A that year and hated to give up her class.


2. Maya Carter - My own personal little savior in the 9th grade. I was a military brat who had just changed schools for the 3-4 time and appeared at a new school Hawaii in the middle of the year. I had no friends most of the year but a few acquaintances here and there. Just as I felt I'd never have another friend my entire high school career in popped Maya. A military transfer who had attended school in Hawaii in elementary school. Her mom had been transferred back east but then was moved back to Hawaii during Maya's 9th grade year and guess what? Maya knew EVERYONE! Of all the friends she knew she decided to extend a hand to a new friend and she and I were joined at the hip until my father's retirement during my senior year of high school (that's a whole other story). No matter what Maya has remained a true and lifelong bud and shown true friendship in every way.she's been honest whether I liked it or not and has continued to remain true blue.


3. Alicia Due - Another long life friend who has taught me so very much. Through her I have learned what it means to be a good wife, mother, christian and friend. Alicia is one of those people who walks into a room and there is a little glow behind her that could possibly be her little halo and wings. I love the fact that no matter how long it takes me to get back to her church they always welcome me with open arms. She always seems to call me just in time to give me the very best advice and a word of wisdom. The thing is I have very few friends who have known me since childhood and know how TRULY far I've come. "Cousin" Alicia is one of the friends that I wanted to emulate in every way. I couldn't wait to have her be my Maid of Honor at my wedding or the godmother to my children. She is the little angel that sits on my shoulder and I continue to try and make her proud.


4. Leonard Dodd -like Dr. Bogus this is someone who'll never realize that a gesture "mattered". Mr. Dodd is the father of my high school sweetheart and upon my first time meeting him he was very cordial but later in the evening following dinner he pulled me aside to sit me down and tell me that although he thought I was a nice person, I would stay in his good graces by always making sure to treat his son well. He said that his son was very important to him and under no circumstances was he to be hurt. I guess a little earlier into my immature teen years I may have taken this wrong but for some reason the stern voice didn't rattle me at all. Instead it let me know that he loved his son and wanted the best for him. I took it as a challenge after that to be his sons' best girlfriend ever, and I was too, until he eventually moved. Somehow those words from Leonard Dodd have remained with me throughout the years. I think ALL parents should have this same talk with anyone their child, boy or girl take seriously. If people know that you love your child and think they are special they will too and may think differently before treating them badly. I can't wait to have the first little chickenhead walk through the door so I can sit her down (smile)


5. Pastors Willie and Roxanne Harper - Funny how people can effect you in such a way and never even know it because it's just "what they do". This couple has the ability to make you feel as if everytime they see you, they haven't seen you in years. Not only are they always feeled with beautiful spirits of love but they also seem to have that little glow that follows behind their heads as well. As a little girl I watched Sister Harper during church with her long hair flowing all the way down her back and her perfect clothes and when she opened her mouth it was always to offer a kind word of praise. Pastor Harper seemed to always deliver a message that was exactly what I needed at that moment. As a young woman Sister Harper shared some things with me that made me rethink some of the choices I was making in life and how important the next few years would be to myself as well as my children. Now as an adult my children attend school with their youngest son and as I see them in passing at games and sometimes sit with them, they have not changed. They still light up a room as they entire and have that same twinkle in their eyes. I can only hope to touch lives here and there as I grow older and wiser.


I have many more important friends, family members and acquaintances along the way. These are only a few who have shaped a small portion of who Nesha has been, is and is becoming. Please don't be offended if you didn't make this "list". I take something from everyone I come in contact with throughout life. I am blessed to know many and can only hope that one day I'll be in someone else's top 5. Blessing...Nesha