4/30/09
Loving Myself (Practice Makes Perfect) - A Poem
The Art of Loving myself is one I have yet to master
I have to practice...every single day...
There are times when I peer into the mirror and
the face staring back says...I am unworthy...
it taunts and teases me...attempting to shred
my self esteem
and in those moments...I know I am learning
to love myself...
I come to life and go to war with myself
in order to defend myself...
Civil War on the battleground
of my soul...a place where I fight the
demons of my life...
funny to say I got bounceback...I always say that
everyone believes that is true...everyone but me
I try to do so with no fear
I stand in the face of the old me
the one who hangs her head...
only good to make a bed...or in bed...hhmmm
and squeeze the life from me
she must be dead...in order for the enlightened me to
rise resurrected from ashes...of days gone by
and do so seemingly everyday
for the art of loving myself
is one I have yet to master
I will never stop practicing
4/29/09
My New Favorite Song - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
This is a hit from last year but it's my new favorite song for the moment. I love it. What do you think?
Sounds Familiar
As I travel next week back to Texas, I'm sure my family will be walking off into the sunset next week. Well, at least eating pizza in a filthy house with unwashed clothes as they work out each night.
4/28/09
GET OUT!
Backseat bickering bugs just about every mother, but when a Manhattan lawyer had enough of her quarreling daughters, she kicked them out of the car and drove off. Madlyn Primoff, 45, dropped her tweens in a shopping district three miles from their home on Sunday night and has since pleaded not guilty to child endangerment.
"Police would not say if Primoff ever returned to look for the girls, but they said, without explaining how, that the 12-year-old eventually caught up with the mother. The 10-year-old was found by a "Good Samaritan" on the street, upset and emotional about losing her mother, police said."
Here's the thing...been there done that. Yes, you heard me! I BEEN THERE DONE THAT AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN and dare you to get in my business. When I say "DON'T SAY NOTHING UNTIL I STOP THIS CAR" I mean that dammit! Especially if I've been saying "knock it off". I have put my kids out, granted, not downtown where they can freak me out and run into some store or get snatched up in two minutes. Blocks from home and on roads I can see from end to end. Each time I've come back and said, "you ready to get in this car and act like a passenger now" and had no issue the rest of the ride home.
Now, listen, I have no doubt that those kids will remember this incident for the rest of their lives. I have no doubt the mom will remember it, too. But can we give kids - and parents - a little bit of credit for resilience? The idea that a bad day, even a scary awful day, means a child is scarred for life just means that every day in every way we could be ruining our kids forever. God forbid we do or say something stupid, the gig is up. If you really want to punish them....take them to a store and buy yourself a pint of ice cream. Then drive them out to a country road and park 3 miles from them and watch them walk to you while eating your ice cream.
Naturally, I do not think that this mom handled her kids in a truly optimal way. But most of us have days when we don’t. That doesn’t make us criminal parents. It makes us human parents. And kids are built to live with humans, not Robo-Mamas. As I said, her mistake is in the fact that she put them out downtown in a town where at least one passerby was too nosey to actual care. Not one person said "oooo yeah, she is pissed" and stand nearby to watch the kids as she drove around a long busy block. We don't live in a world were people can put her two girls out downtown without some pedophile thinking it's his or her chance to "pounce". We also don't live in a world ANYMORE were most kids are smart enough to say, "lets sit here until she comes back" or "lets get to hiking". These too chickenheads took it upon themselves to go separate directions. Which means, mom probably hadn't done this before or that the kids are spoiled as hell and decided they would give her a scare and go in opposite directions.
Either way, the mom learned, the kids learned. If Sandra Cantu's parents were not prosecuted for letting her roam the trailer park, if Adam Walsh's parents were not prosecuted for allowing him to stand in a crowded store and play video games while they shopped, and if Gwen Araujo's mother let her walk out the house knowing what could happen and she wasn't prosecuted...well then who are we to judge a mother who is fed up with bickering and puts her kids out the car.
There I said it!
4/22/09
I Got This Baby!
I've had a GREAT DAY SO FAR! It's only 8am and I've already been to the gym at 5am, made happy-face pancakes, omelettes, country bacon, french toast and fresh squeezed orange juice for my family. I took everyone to school, hugged a tree, went to the grocery store and put all of my family of 7's groceries into recycle bags to carry home (it took 15 bags), had a fresh cup of coffee, read three chapters of Luke and I'm on way to tan in the back yard once I finish homeschooling Cayden for a little bit this morning.
NOT!!!!! I worked out at the gym from 9:30 to 10:30 last night after drinking 2 sips of a 5 hour energy drink and I was up until 2am. I tossed and turned cause I knew I shouldn't have drank that idiot's potion. It was HOT as hell all damn night so I was uncomfortable and sweaty. I don't have carpool today so I only had to take CJ to school. I have no idea what the big boys even had for breakfast but CJ had a bowl of fruitloops that he gulped down in 2.5 seconds cause I didn't wake up until 7:15. I only know it's Earth Day cause the news is on. I've never touched, let alone used a recycle bag at the grocery store and it would probably take 50 to get all my groceries home, I hate coffee and the smell of it makes me gag a little. I haven't touched my bible since Sunday, if I feel like it I may lay out but it's just too damn hot outside and Cayden's daddy needs to hurry up and get his bad butt into daycare before I turn into Mommy Dearest and beat his bad azz with a wire hanger.
There, I said it and I feel much better. Seriously though. I do feel better than I did yesterday. I had to go into Malcolm in the Middle mom mode to get it crackin in this house though. I know the boys all thought I was a little insane. I asked for clean rooms after school and I walked into Twin A's room to find him asleep in front of the game on tv. I walked downstairs to find Twin B sitting in the middle of that mess I took a picture of yesterday eating chocolate chip cookies and milk. I flipped and started cursing everyone out and took all cellphones, ipod shuffles, tv remotes, cable cords and game controllers and locked them in my room. "See me when your rooms and bathroom is clean".
Wow! funny how that works. I had sparkling rooms and even heard the vaccum going too. CJ even got a little nervous and started cleaning his room. I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD! Following my little spazz attack I decided to be nice and make the best fried chicken salad for dinner.
I am on my second day of my 8 day carb diet. Don't start! "Why you on a diet, you don't need to diet, you skinny bitch.blah blah blah". Everyone needs work. I've rarely had to diet, except that time I went on depo-provera and gained 17lbs but I wanted to do a little carb fast before heading to Texas because we all know Texas is
CARBLAND! I gained 8 lbs last time I was there. So if I loose 8lbs before I go I'll be perfect when I come back. I'm very concerned about the basketball tournament this weekend though. I'll be working the snackbar for most of the weekend and there is just no way to avoid those nachos with jalepenos. UGGGG!
Anyway, I have lots to do and I feel GREAT TODAY! Blessings to all
NOT!!!!! I worked out at the gym from 9:30 to 10:30 last night after drinking 2 sips of a 5 hour energy drink and I was up until 2am. I tossed and turned cause I knew I shouldn't have drank that idiot's potion. It was HOT as hell all damn night so I was uncomfortable and sweaty. I don't have carpool today so I only had to take CJ to school. I have no idea what the big boys even had for breakfast but CJ had a bowl of fruitloops that he gulped down in 2.5 seconds cause I didn't wake up until 7:15. I only know it's Earth Day cause the news is on. I've never touched, let alone used a recycle bag at the grocery store and it would probably take 50 to get all my groceries home, I hate coffee and the smell of it makes me gag a little. I haven't touched my bible since Sunday, if I feel like it I may lay out but it's just too damn hot outside and Cayden's daddy needs to hurry up and get his bad butt into daycare before I turn into Mommy Dearest and beat his bad azz with a wire hanger.
There, I said it and I feel much better. Seriously though. I do feel better than I did yesterday. I had to go into Malcolm in the Middle mom mode to get it crackin in this house though. I know the boys all thought I was a little insane. I asked for clean rooms after school and I walked into Twin A's room to find him asleep in front of the game on tv. I walked downstairs to find Twin B sitting in the middle of that mess I took a picture of yesterday eating chocolate chip cookies and milk. I flipped and started cursing everyone out and took all cellphones, ipod shuffles, tv remotes, cable cords and game controllers and locked them in my room. "See me when your rooms and bathroom is clean".
Wow! funny how that works. I had sparkling rooms and even heard the vaccum going too. CJ even got a little nervous and started cleaning his room. I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD! Following my little spazz attack I decided to be nice and make the best fried chicken salad for dinner.
I am on my second day of my 8 day carb diet. Don't start! "Why you on a diet, you don't need to diet, you skinny bitch.blah blah blah". Everyone needs work. I've rarely had to diet, except that time I went on depo-provera and gained 17lbs but I wanted to do a little carb fast before heading to Texas because we all know Texas is
CARBLAND! I gained 8 lbs last time I was there. So if I loose 8lbs before I go I'll be perfect when I come back. I'm very concerned about the basketball tournament this weekend though. I'll be working the snackbar for most of the weekend and there is just no way to avoid those nachos with jalepenos. UGGGG!
Anyway, I have lots to do and I feel GREAT TODAY! Blessings to all
4/21/09
What Does your Birthday Say About You
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
Am I the Only One?
So yesterday the kids all returned to school following a nice little spring break and Cayden slept until 11:00am. I had a nice peaceful morning without really moving from my room after dropping the kids off to school. All the way home I sang loudly with Musiq to "So Beautiful". It's my new favorite song.
So finally about 1:00pm I actually started to make my way to start cleaning and straightening up a little. Well let me back up just a little. Normally my house gets a good cleaning on Sunday but this week we had visitors, things to do and the craziness of preparing to go back to school. I actually crashed out early on Sunday so I didn't do any "inspections" before I fell asleep.
Okay, catch back up to yesterday when I went through the house to discover a filthy Jack and Jill bathroom that my kids share, dirty rooms all around, towels left in the backyard from the weekend jacuzzi dips and dirty dishes that were not even started in the dishwasher.
Not only did I feel a little overwhelmed and agitated...I wanted to shake a 15 year old with force. Here is the thing. I had a mother who took it upon herself to wake us up in the middle of the night with either a belt or a clanging wooden spoon against a pot if we dare go to sleep with the kitchen dirty. Many nights I wanted to break EVERY DISH in that kitchen after being awaken at 2am to the sound of her annoying voice yelling about "I told you not to go to bed with that kitchen dirty". Thing is, take a chance if you dare to break...or even clang a dish...and you are liable to get a double beating with whatever her eyes fall on first as she hops out of her warm snuggly bed again. By whatever she sees first, I mean it could be her shoe, a belt, a broom...hell even her purse strap but you are gonna get it if you begin even sounding mad in the kitchen. This ain't child abuse baby. It's old skool 101!
Skip forward to 2009. My house. I'm not old skool and I stick to the things I said in that kitchen at 2 am. "When I have kids I'll never do this to them". Not to say my parents did a bad job because something must have stuck. I absolutely detest a filthy kitchen! In fact all the things that annoyed my mother when I was a child now peeve me as well, but I also don't work the hours she put in at the office. In my own humble opinion I think after getting up at 6:30am, a full day of school, weightlifting classes, basketball practice and usually a few hours of homework and dinner sometimes kids are just...tired. Everything doesn't get done every day. Somedays I demand less, some days more and that get to decide if they are going to continue in their ways and lose their priveledges or just get their work done.
Question for you?
Am I the only one who has a child who will trip over a case of water sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, look down at it as if to say "what was that doing there?" and then keep walking? Ummm hello, put away the groceries means the water too!
Am I the only one who constantly tells their children to rinse the toothpaste down the sink after they spit it out of their mouths into the sink? (ick!)
Am I the only one who watches children walk over the same dirty sock in their doorway until I tell them to pick it up.
Am I the only one who has to tell kids to put their shoes in their closet or by the front door and if I don't eventually tell them to take their shoes upstairs I'd have enough shoes by the front door to start my own shoe store.
Am I the only one who tells a child each week, "go upstairs and collect the cups out of everyone's room"
Am I the only one who picks up Caprisun wrappers on a weekly basis? I desperately need to find a remedy for the dreaded capri sun wrapper.
They have no idea that if I look in their room and see this?
I would never enter their room. That's the trick...at least for a while it works to keep the doorway clean. But when I walk down the stairs and see THIS from their doorway...
I'm coming in and all hell is breaking loose when he gets home from school today.
So finally about 1:00pm I actually started to make my way to start cleaning and straightening up a little. Well let me back up just a little. Normally my house gets a good cleaning on Sunday but this week we had visitors, things to do and the craziness of preparing to go back to school. I actually crashed out early on Sunday so I didn't do any "inspections" before I fell asleep.
Okay, catch back up to yesterday when I went through the house to discover a filthy Jack and Jill bathroom that my kids share, dirty rooms all around, towels left in the backyard from the weekend jacuzzi dips and dirty dishes that were not even started in the dishwasher.
Not only did I feel a little overwhelmed and agitated...I wanted to shake a 15 year old with force. Here is the thing. I had a mother who took it upon herself to wake us up in the middle of the night with either a belt or a clanging wooden spoon against a pot if we dare go to sleep with the kitchen dirty. Many nights I wanted to break EVERY DISH in that kitchen after being awaken at 2am to the sound of her annoying voice yelling about "I told you not to go to bed with that kitchen dirty". Thing is, take a chance if you dare to break...or even clang a dish...and you are liable to get a double beating with whatever her eyes fall on first as she hops out of her warm snuggly bed again. By whatever she sees first, I mean it could be her shoe, a belt, a broom...hell even her purse strap but you are gonna get it if you begin even sounding mad in the kitchen. This ain't child abuse baby. It's old skool 101!
Skip forward to 2009. My house. I'm not old skool and I stick to the things I said in that kitchen at 2 am. "When I have kids I'll never do this to them". Not to say my parents did a bad job because something must have stuck. I absolutely detest a filthy kitchen! In fact all the things that annoyed my mother when I was a child now peeve me as well, but I also don't work the hours she put in at the office. In my own humble opinion I think after getting up at 6:30am, a full day of school, weightlifting classes, basketball practice and usually a few hours of homework and dinner sometimes kids are just...tired. Everything doesn't get done every day. Somedays I demand less, some days more and that get to decide if they are going to continue in their ways and lose their priveledges or just get their work done.
Question for you?
Am I the only one who has a child who will trip over a case of water sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, look down at it as if to say "what was that doing there?" and then keep walking? Ummm hello, put away the groceries means the water too!
Am I the only one who constantly tells their children to rinse the toothpaste down the sink after they spit it out of their mouths into the sink? (ick!)
Am I the only one who watches children walk over the same dirty sock in their doorway until I tell them to pick it up.
Am I the only one who has to tell kids to put their shoes in their closet or by the front door and if I don't eventually tell them to take their shoes upstairs I'd have enough shoes by the front door to start my own shoe store.
Am I the only one who tells a child each week, "go upstairs and collect the cups out of everyone's room"
Am I the only one who picks up Caprisun wrappers on a weekly basis? I desperately need to find a remedy for the dreaded capri sun wrapper.
They have no idea that if I look in their room and see this?
I would never enter their room. That's the trick...at least for a while it works to keep the doorway clean. But when I walk down the stairs and see THIS from their doorway...
I'm coming in and all hell is breaking loose when he gets home from school today.
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