Funny thing about going through life's changes is how we, as mothers seem to work through disappointment, sadness, frustration and the perils of life.
We, ummmmm, simply put, busy overselves. I've been so busy lately that I think I'm honestly making myself sick at times. I feel my body wearing down just a bit. I realize my iron is low but my workload is high and it seems that the list never ends. Yesterday, well this week, I've been a lunatic. Preparing this and taking care of that. Running here, running there. I feel this overwhelming sadness in my spirit that I can't shake though. I mean, I hate to have to fight to be happy. Nothing in my outward would detect, there is just something that says that something is not quite right. I don't feel all the way whole. At times, I think I've been moving faster than the speed of light. The more my brain is going the less time to think. Well, kind of. At night, usually 2 am, I'm up and walking the floor or laying in bed staring at the ceiling. Lately I've even retreated to my closet for a talk with God. I guess him what his plans are for me and what my mission is here. Am I doing what he wants me to do? Am I where I'm suppose to be and when will my heart be full. No answer...maybe he's not listening...maybe I'm not listening. Maybe I can't hear him. Maybe he can't hear me. (Shrugging my shoulders). I'm taking a big sigh right now. I ummmm. I gotta figure this all out. SOON!
You always have me...love ya.
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