So I'm a grown woman now. I'm willing to admit a few things I couldn't quite cop to before. Laying quietly in my bed at 3am last night I looked up at the ceiling and said "To thine own self be true"...it's a quote from Shakespear's Hamlet. Did you know that the quote “And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can not then be false to any man.” Unless we can be true to ourselves first, we cannot be true to others.
To thine own self be true…..how profound. How many of us have a hard time being true to ourselves? For me having gave my life to another at the cost of loosing who I am in the process have had a hard time being true to myself. Allowing someone else to define who I am, over years seems to have made em lose the ability to discover and grow inwardly. Often I've had a hard time being able to discern a truth from a lie. I've accepted lies for so long, that finding out what is true takes time. The journey to self-discovery seems forever.
Truth….truth is a word that brings out such negative reactions to many of us. You see truth is really an action word. You cannot accept truth without change. (wow, good stuff huh). Accepting truth about ourselves is difficult. Truth will not set me free if I will allow it to; I realize it is a crucial part of healing. It gives us the freedom to be who we are. I know that truth is what makes a person able to come to terms with weakness (without condemnation) and appreciate strength. Truth gives strength. What a concept. It almost naturally builds healthy boundaries. Truth is open; it is honest even at the risk of being vulnerable again. Truth is light and brings forth life. When we walk in truth, we walk in light and when we walk in light we live a healthy life.
Truth is also love. I read somewhere that the greatest act of love towards another is living a life that is truthful. Because we have been honest with ourselves, we are able to love ourselves with all of our imperfections, knowing that we are in “process” and therefore need not have others approval. This is freedom.
Wouldn't be wonderful if we couldn't be as truthful in life as we are in the blog of our lives. So in an attempt to create just a bit of freedom in my life "today". I'll admit just a little bit.
1. I absolutely hate my smile, hence all my straight face pictures. In order to get a good pic I usually take it at least 4 times.
2. I've had body issues my entire life. I can't imagine having sex with the lights on our in a room that is not dimly lit.
3. I've always wanted a tattoo but I've never seen anything that I wanted on my body for my entire life.
4. I believe that my children are the single most perfect thing I've ever done. I can't imagine not having them in my life.
5. Sometimes its extremely hard to smile through it all.
6. I wish I didn't feel the need to protect everyone from pain.
7. Sometimes I feel complete sadness and it seems impossible to get out of bed.
That's all for now.
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