Dear Life,

I'm sorry for calling you dreadful,


and I'm sorry for saying you're treacherous.

I know I get angry with you sometimes,

and say some things I shouldn't.

Please know I'm only angry,

and when I'm angry I say things I don't mean.

Please know you are charming, and divine, and timeless.

You are exquisite, and vibrant and priceless.

At times I forget how beautiful you are,

but then you bless me with days like today.

Days like today I rediscover your beauty.

I remember the reasons why I love you.

I thank God for His grace, for giving me you.

Thank you for the magical moments you give me.

Thank you for teaching me.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for giving me the people you have.

Thank you for making me better.

You're radiant.

And I love you.

Confession #1

I started a new thing today called Confessions. No explanations really needed. Just a what I'm thinking from time to time.  Here is the first one.

Random Thoughts

Thinking about my blog today. I've gone at this blog harder and longer than anything I've committed to in a while. I'm proud of myself mainly because I've been able to stick with something consistently. And with all of the changes that have taken place in my life since my first post, I'd say that this is somewhat of an achievement. Or maybe I'm just a know-it-all....either way. I took a break for a minute but I missed it...Not sure if I miss it or the fact that I'm not quite sure if I have readers anymore who care about it and what I write. It feels wierd to want to ask people did you see what I wrote. I don't want to but it's hard to know that I've put myself into something and not know if someone...anyone is reading. It's actually quite lonely sometimes.

Random thoughts:

1. This summer is confirming to me that hell is not an option. It's so hot..even at night.

2. I need more fun in my life; whether I have money at the time or not. I've been on a cleaning fit for about a month to keep my mind busy and it's time to let loose just a little.

3. I hate the feeling of knowing that I am the cause of someone else's hurt or pain. Sometimes it makes me feel like such a bad person.

4. I wish I felt some sort of normal right now. I feel in limbo and its' such a terrible feeling.
5. My newest playlist on my ipod has the best songs. I've fallen in love with it.
6. I'm afraid of some of the things happening in my life and in my mind right now. I don't know how to be "open" without feeling as if it's too much. I could really use a wish right now.

I'm still praying God. Can you show me that your listening? Just a little sign would be really nice right now.

Praise Will Confuse the Enemy

Couldn't ask for better lyrics today. Ever been in your car and singing a song loud, saw the person next to you watching you and wondered what you were singing but you didn't care? I did that today...Praise him in Advance.

How I Feel - You Are God Alone

Began humming this at 11:30pm last night, still on my mind, this afternoon.

...Love Continues

"You may think you are the only person persuing this. You are wrong. I'm persuing this too, I want this just as much as you do".

After much self-inspection, I am still not sure exactly how I survived the past month. While I am grateful that a Being more sovereign than I saw fit to accompany me every step of the way, acting as a guide/protector, I am still taking inventory of all that my heart has endured. Weeks ago, I would have submerged myself into a mode of self-pity labeled "Victim-mentality", but with 40 less than 5 years away...I'm working on finding a different perspective. On what it means to live. Truly live. But foremost, on how to truly love, honestly and with all my heart. Even when it's tough.


One cannot be sure how strong the bond is between two people unless it has been tested. Taken through a variety of turmoil and even betrayal. However, I feel that it isn't just the strength of the love that is stressed, but the power of the Will of each person and putting God entirely first.  At any moment after a crisis, only one person is needed to decide not to continue. To be committed to another person is the weightiest vow a human being can give, because he/she knows that love alone just isn't enough. To give ourselves completely to it is what most just cannot do.

Currently, I am in awe of how much strong my heart is now. Because it has been broken, subtly and repeatedly but ultimately, my love for him has been returned ten fold. It is returned everday. You can see the look in his eyes.  My Love for my Beloved is so much stronger than it has ever been. I think that is a wonderful blessing from God. My choice to love him is as fiery and passionate as a summer fling, but it's girded with the stuff that allows Love to see its golden years.

Will's Wisdom

Inspiring to my heart, my soul and everything I believe in. I'm learning more everyday. Laying one brick at a time. I want to do good and I want the world to be better because I was here.  "If you aren't making someone else's life better, you are waisting your time." Wow. Powerful stuff

All is Well

Wanted to take the time to thank all my readers for the emails I've received to checking in to make sure all is well. Believe me, it is. I am so grateful to you. Funny thing is, I don't know the majority of you and yet I have readers who check in on me more than the IRL (in real life) people and have grown to know me through PBM. As my previous post stated, I just need to take a break for a minute to get back on track. I will be back very soon but I'm going through a transitional phase in my life and attention is required. Attention to who? My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ has been trying to get my attention for a long time now. He's tried multiple, subtle hints and not much has phased me in a few years but he has it loud and clear now. I am in the storm but I see beautiful sunshine coming over the horizon. I'm dedicating my life to God, prayer, study, worship and my family right now and I choose to do this mostly away from the computer so that I am focused and not feeling the need for my mind to wander to needless other things. I know that this will make me a whole person...a better christian, wife and mother.

Love to all,
Powerful Beyond Measure