Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

Just some thinking off top -
Being a child of God I realize that one absolute spiritual key to effective self-mastery and Self-Realization is the ability to turn lemons into lemonade. I know that life will not always go according to my preferences. When there are only super strong preferences, we are happy no matter what happens. We still want our preferences met but our happiness is not based on achieving them.

As a student of the Word I also understand that from GOD's perspective everything that happens is positive and should be looked at as a gift. The proper attitude to everything in life is "Not my will but Thine will be done". No matter what happens in life no matter how horrific the example, this is the proper attitude. God says to "Welcome adversity." It's just so hard sometimes to struggle through welcoming the bad things because somehow they are suppose to make me a better person. From GOD's perspective there are no accidents in the universe and everything happens for a reason. The reason is always to Spiritually teach a lesson that needs to be learned.

I do feel as if the sometimes the "negative" things that happen are caused from personal karma. That's a whole other subject though. The truth is it doesn't matter why it happened or where it came from, if it happened, you can be assured that the lesson was needed for some reason and the proper attitude is to welcome it, accept it and look at it as a gift. If I would only believe what I type.

We can respond from our lower self or our Higher Self. We can respond from unconditional love or from fear. We can respond from separation or from oneness. This has been a life long struggle for me. It seems as if my life has been often been filled with a barrage of lemons at once. Not to say that I haven't had sweet and perfect lemonade in between. The question is will I turn the bad into lemonade or will I keep tasting the bitter taste of the lemon. I know this is all governed by my attitude and perspective. I do know that no matter what happens in life and no matter how bad the occurrence, it is my responsibility to turn that experience into lemonade. It's just so hard to stay focused sometimes when the lemon has squirked it's juice in my eye.

I was re-reading the the story of Job in my bible this weekend. This story tells how a man loses everything, and I mean everything, but ultimately turns it into a Spiritual test of his "Righteousness" in believing in GOD. Job's statement in the Bible is one of my favorite quotes where he says: "Naked I come from my mother's womb, and naked shall I leave. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord." I had to remind myself of this on many occasions when I have been asked to give up certain things. No matter what happens in my life the key is to "Focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do!"

I read somewhere that a person who has an optimistic positive attitude will ultimately remain so no matter what happens in their life. A person with a negative, pessimistic attitude will find a way to feel unhappy even if outwardly things are going well. I've realized that the world is nothing more than a projection screen for our attitudes and interpretations.

I know I'm getting a bit religious but if I can curse with no shame I have to be able to rejoice in my Lord. Making lemonade out of lemons. Jesus did this well. He knew that when he was on the cross "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Jesus saw this situation as a Spiritual test and lesson in forgiveness, and demonstrated this understanding in a most extreme situation.
We've all heard "this is a blessing in disguise". I'm making lemonade out of lemons.

Nesha On Sports

Couple things have me caught up lately...couldn't come at a better time. Right before the start of March Madness! I love this season!

In Order of my greatest this week:

1. Anthony Brock missed his flight from Little Rock, Ark., to Knoxville on Saturday after attending his grandmother’s funeral. Good thing he didn’t miss the game. Brock hit a desperation 3-pointer at the buzzer to secure Alabama’s 70-67 upset of Tennessee on Sunday. The coaching staff had a flight for him and he missed it so he drove ALL NIGHT to get there.

The Vols had grabbed a 67-65 lead on a fastbreak dunk with 1:43 left. Alabama called hit a jumper from the free-throw line to tie the game at 67 with 1:15 left.The Vols ran the clock down, and the game appeared headed to overtime. Brock dribbled through traffic out of Alabama’s timeout and hit the game-winning shot—his only of the second half—as he tripped near the top of the key. Grandma was watching over her baby!



2. Saint Mary's of Stockton Continues their domination. Although I wish the boys were just a bit better (I have a feeling they will be in the upcoming years), the girls are ROLLIN!! They started off the 2008-2009 year ranked No. 1 in the country. After a few mishaps they fell quite a ways but have battled back to No. 21 according to ESPN, and No. 5 in California. Friday night they crushed the Sacramento Dragons to win Saint Marys 10th Section Championship in girls basketball and now the battle is on to be the best in Northern California. I have a feeling this is our year to take the State Championship. Fight on Rams!


Pictured above are Afure Jemerigbye and Chelsea Gray both ranked as Top 10 Juniors in the country.

3. Delta Fastbreak opens the season 2-0! So our little team opens the season in the Tice Valley League leading the pack. The boys have been hard at work since the high school season ended a few weeks ago. Hard work paid off on Sunday as Fastbreak fell right back into the flow of things. Although they had a few fouls, couple turn overs here and there, they stepped it up. First beating Vallejo High followed by the Diablo Valley Tarheels which was a AAU team with combination of stars from around the bay area. Nice work guys!

All Things "Nesha"

So as I continue to struggle for a positive outlook on life, I realize what I want, I simply don't know how to get there. It's as if I refuse to "Trust the Process". I realize that in order for me to find happiness and self-fulfillment "loved ones" may get hurt but I hate to see anyone I love hurt. I know that this stage in my life has to be about me, otherwise the years to come are going to suck! I have to be a better person for Nesha to feel as if I too am getting something out of this life.

I NEED to learn to be comfortable in my skin. I realize that in order for me to put on my face I have to feel pretty but it really doesn't mattr how you look. I need to be able to get out of bed in the morning, put my feet on the floor, breath easy and know that it's going to be OK...no matter what. That...to me is Peace of Mind. I want that, because it is that thing that helps me to sleep at night.

I HAVE to get honest with MYSELF about what works for me and what DOES NOT work for me. I'm trying to surround myself with people that truly love me, support me, care for me and inspire me to be a better person and get through this process. Even if that means only myself sometimes. I read somewhere that many people that come into your life are simply spectators. That is so true. They don't contribute anything.
Not that they necessarily want to see you fail, but they are content to not see you do ANYTHING at all.

In 2009 I need to learn the importance of being FEARLESS! I talk about being fearless but I am afraid of many things. I want to be fearless. Know that no matter what, it WILL be okay. Being fearless is being faithful.

Until next time!

Mr. Paul Does It Again

Getting my Tomboy on. Don't deny that this is BY FAR the best point guard in the league. NUFF SAID!

Friday Fill - In

And...here we go!

1. Saving someone's seat in the backed DMV was my last random act of kindness.

2. Another place I rather be right now is having a massage by Kim with Y.

3. It's all about honesty in matters of the heart.

4. Coffee, tea or room temperature water.

5. We are destined for separate paths.

6. Our children reminds me that there is hope for the future.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a long hot bath and a shot of Grey Goose, tomorrow my plans include painting the white doors in my house a fresh coat of white and Sunday, I want to see my boys and their team kick butt in their first game of the AAU season!

to participate in Friday Fill - In...click here

The Power Of Positive Thinking

When you are not having a great day...WILL IT!!!

I am...and so here are some pics to get me through it! Love to you all. Think positive!

5 Factor Personality Test

You are Extroverted, Conscientious and Neurotic

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time". Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

unfortunately I find it hard to disagree with most of this personality test. Some things are sad but true. I wish I could change the trusting part but alas. That is me to the T. I definetly would rather be at the party than be the center of the party. I prefer to sit at a table in the corner and watch with the same drink in my hand all night. The hibernation thing is definetly me. Could there be anything better in the world than being in the house on a raining day near the fireplace watching sportscenter. I honestly wish that I could disagree with the self interest. As I get older this becomes more of a reality for me. Neuroticism is so dead on!!! Mostly I'm cool and collected but sometimes small worries keep me up at night...all night. Now imagine how I react when major drama happens. I'm a walking zombie! Boring is fine with me...it's Nesha. I have walls that are Spanish Sand, boring brown furniture, neutral clothing, and wear about 3 pieces of the same jewelry day after day. It's safe for me. However - I"m still thinking of going outside my comfort zone and splurging on some Boes headphones...lol

just me...thinking outloud

I'm tired this week. I feel like crawling under the covers and not coming out for awhile but it's time to put on the face. You know the face. The face that says all is well in my "perfect world". It's draining sometimes. I'm sure for others who have to do the same, but at this moment I feel as if it's only me... alone.

What do you do when you feel as if the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders and you can't drag yourself through not even one more day? Me, I tend to dress it up...way up. Tighten my ponytail or play with my hair in the mirror until I have big flowing body curls, or either I pluck the hell out of my eyebrows until I say "oh shit, that's gonna take two weeks to fix", sit in hotwater until I'm wrinkled or through the headphones on and close my eyes. More often I put on my prettiest makeup, my "damn I look good in these jeans" outfit, and basically keep it moving and smile at everyone I come in contact with. What else would I do? It's far better than walking around looking as if you can't "handle it" right. Someone told me I always appear to be in control. Good, then it's working! They are all fooled.

Lately, I've felt as if the fight is just not in me though. As if I've been beaten down too many times to get up and survive the next round. Mothers can't give up though. Honestly - I think the saddest thing is a mother who shows that she has given up because if nothing else, my boys truly give me a reason to wake up in the morning. Over the years I've seen friends and acquaintances let someone else take the motherhood reigns, via grandmother, father, etc. I just couldn't wake up and not see their faces each morning simply because "I'd grown too tired".

My thoughts seem to consume me now. They are simply all over the place...truly! This song fits, this movie fits, this poem fits, what did that person mean, what about this, what about that....gggrrr! Enough to drive me mad and it seems my only relief is a blog, undrafted or not.