Okay Okay Already...Lebron

Since even my mother...the queen of "what was that call, why they doing that, what's going on" (in other words she don't really know basketball), is even calling saying 'Where do you think Lebron is going", I had to answer with a blog.

Seriously folks...I don't care! I roll with Kobe! Need I say more? No, but I will. Get 5 rings then ask me will I watch your special. Win a Championship with NOTHING but Scottie Pippen and BJ and a little bench help, Lose Shaq and pick up Paul Gasal, and pray for Derrick Fisher to have a good night, Hope Ron Artest don't lose his mind, beat the Green Machine then ask me if I care where Lebron is going.


In those anxious, heart-stopping moments before LeBron James addresses the nation on the state of the war in Afghanistan, I'd like to ... wait a minute [this is where Jon Stewart puts the fake phone to his ear] ... I've just been informed that the King's special is not about Afghanistan. It is about his deciding in which American city he will pursue his dream -- our dream, really, the dream of our collective nation, or more like the dream of the world, that's it, the whole world, the universe, that dream. Which is to play basketball, make a lot of money, and just maybe change humankind for the better.

But ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as much as we are tingling with anticipation about LeBron's decision, to be announced in a one-hour ESPN special cleverly called "The Decision," you do realize that we are staring into the abyss. Because think of it: What will we do when "The Decision" has been, you know, decided? How will we fill the empty hours, the endless, malaise-driven days when there is no longer video of LeBron arriving at his basketball camp, LeBron posting delectable tidbits on his Web site, LeBron tapping out messages on his new Twitter account? We got nothing. An irritating war, something about an oil spill down South, a crumbling job market.
The Amar'e Stoudemire welcome that was plastered on the Madison Square Garden billboard -- incidentally, the same place they advertise the circus every year -- was an interesting diversion, as was his chest-pounding calls for Carmelo Anthony and Tony Parker to join him on the Knicks. But the over-the-top part began with Wade and Bosh,  we want to play on the same team. Can we? Can we? Pleeeeeeeeze? If LeBron joins them in Miami, it'll be all the cool kids on one side, taking over the playground, nerds over there against the wall.

Look, Wade is a great talent and he won an NBA championship in 2006 practically by himself. (Along with a few whistles that put him at the foul line a few thousand times.) But his diva act has been way, way over the top. Bosh is a solid player as well but the attention put upon a guy who at this point is about the 100th best player in NBA history defied belief. In his seven seasons with the Raptors, Bosh led them to two playoff appearances, both of which resulted in first-round exits.

But the big story, of course, is LeBron, who, is drunk on the greatness of his own LeBron-ness. He is clueless of how ridiculous this whole process has been. Scheduling a one-hour show when you have zero championship rings and, at last glance, were seen folding like a umbrella against the Celtics in the semifinals. I'm sure Team LeBron is claiming that "The Decision" is mostly about raising money for charity, but here's a simpler way he could do that -- take a million or two of the 100 he's going to get and write a check to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. And if he's already done it, do it again.

Oh by the way, my simple pick would be Bulls, where he could actually play with some players like Derrick Rose who, as of now, don't care much about the fame and glory and are enjoying the game and making the entire team better. Just my pick but I don't care cause you still gotta cross Kobe and knock him off the pedastal at some point. That's all